taken from: theanatomyofadreamer on Ao3
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"I love you" can be said in more than words
Carlos is never going to tell Jay he loves him.
"I love you" is a language he doesn't speak. It's a language he's heard in passing, in momentary overhearings and uttered on TV. Occasionally, he stumbles across it in books so he can definitely spell it, he could write it down if he had half the mind. He just can't bring his clumsy tongue to form those letters, those syllables, and those strange and foreign words.
To him, they are words without meaning, an idea without form. Something he can only ever think of in theory but never in practice, in reality. They are a thought that sometimes springs to mind but never make it to his mouth, intercepted by some filter in between. Sometimes they make it as far as his teeth, but never any further.
If he ever did say it, in some strange other universe, he wasn't sure Jay would understand. He knows he wouldn't, if someone was to say it to him. Would he understand the meaning behind the sentiment? Or it would it be an empty statement, a string of empty words? Would it even mean anything? That is his fear.
Instead he tries to say it whenever he can, in the little ways that he can manage.
He says it in the way he grabs Jay's shoulder after a Tourney win and hangs on just a moment too long.
He says it in the soft kisses that follow rough tugs and sliding hands.
He says it when he crawls into Jay's bed at night and all it takes is an arm draped over him to stop the shaking and the panic and he can breathe again.
He says it in the sleep-heavy "Good mornings" and the yawning "Good nights".
He says it in the countless smiles that he finds on his lips even when the last thing he feels like doing is smiling, but it's Jay and how could he not smile?
And Jay says it back in teasing lines and dazzling grins and the softest of assurances when it all gets to be too much.
In the last few months, since they graduated Auradon Prep together, Carlos figures they've said it to each other enough times to know.
Carlos will never tell Jay he loves him, because Jay already knows.
YOU ARE READING
Il libro di Jaylos
Fanfictionall the world jaylos taken from ao3, tumblr, fanfiction.net [stories / one shot better written] [I will often update and obviously give credit to all authors] [if you don't speak English very well but would still like to read this story, you can alw...
