Il libro di Jaylos

I miss when there was me and you

Carlos sighed, leaning back against the plain white wall of his Chemistry classroom. Currently, he had a free block, and the classroom was deserted. Thankfully, Auradonian teachers tend to leave their classroom doors open, giving him ample opportunity to break in whenever he needs to find solace in himself, away from his peers.

It's funny, when you find yourself looking in from the outside. He tilted his head slightly, his gaze shifting until it was pointed out the window and down to the Tourney field. There. The heart of his heartache.

"Tourney." He scoffed bitterly, his eyes zeroing in on the blue and yellow ocean of students that made up Auradon Prep's over populated Tourney team. "Nothing beats Tourney, I guess." He sighed, recognizing his Jay right away, even at such a tremendous distance. His eyesight always has been pretty spectacular.

All he wanted was to be down there, with Jay. Making him laugh. Predicting his plays. Being his brain. He would give anything.

He pulled his phone up, trying to figure out why he seemingly loved to torture himself like this. He pulled up his message thread with Jay, lowering the brightness so that the light wouldn't burn his eyes so much.

He flicked his thumb across the scene, scrolling up until he settled on a random place to begin torturing himself. Even now, he could feel the lingering sting of Jay's curt replies as if he were receiving the messages in real time.

Every single message he sent was responded to with short, simple replies that lacked emotion of any kind. Once upon a time, he and Jay would send each other paragraphs- mini novels really- that portrayed what they were feeling and what they wanted to get across to each other. Jay used to put some actual thought into his messages. He used to reply to Carlos' "I love you"s with "I love you too"s. Now, all Carlos ever gets is a "u 2". But only if Jay even bothers to respond.

"God, why did this happen to us?" Carlos asked quietly, dropping his phone onto the counter next to him with a loud clatter. He paid it no mind- being best friends with the King means he can get whatever he wants at a moment's notice.

"Why do I even bother asking myself that anymore?" Carlos scoffed, his eyelashes fluttering to flick away the stray tears that were beginning to accumulate. "It was gonna happen eventually, anyways. Villains don't get a happily ever after." He mumbled, watching his Jay laugh and run around on the field. But then, why is Jay so happy?

"Maybe he was never really a villain to begin with." Carlos observed, his lips pursed into a thin, pale streak across his face.

He glanced back down at Jay, his heart clenching painfully as he watched him flirt with the cheerleaders. "Boyfriend my ass. I barely see him." He cursed bitterly, the words leaving a foul taste in his mouth.

"Why did I ever let myself believe that miracles could happen? I just fucked myself over because now I have to pretend I don't care, even though it kills me." He whispered softly, his voice laced with anguish.

"He was supposed to be my fairytale." He choked, a single tear streaking down his freckled cheek. The pioneer for an entire ocean of tears.

"He was supposed to be my day dream! My one wish upon a star! How could he do this to me?" He sobbed, sliding down the wall until he was curled up and pressed into the corner. Just like before, when he would hide away from his mother in her own closet.

In his mind, he could still see Jay's smile. Jay's beautiful, twisted, heart breaking smile. It used to make him feel like he could sing along, but now, Jay changed the words. He changed the entire fucking song and left Carlos all alone, all over again. With an empty heart.