Il libro di Jaylos

with these letters i give my heart to you

taken from: tlea on Ao3

Carlos couldn't deny that he was upset at the news that Jay was going on a year long trip with Gil. He was happy, really, that he had made another friend. But, and this may just be Carlos, he thought it was crazy to go on a year long trip with someone who you barely knew. If Jay were to ask Carlos his honest opinion on it, he would say that he thought it was a little impulsive.

He knew how it looked. He wasn't stupid. He wasn't jealous that Jay was making new friends or that he was going on a trip with his new friend. Carlos just hated being alone and that's exactly what was going to happen. Mal was getting married, and was headed to college after that. Evie was probably on her way to getting married and would be attending university hours away in the fall. And Carlos? Well, he was stuck at Auradon for another year without any of his friends; his family. It was the downside of being the youngest of his friends. He didn't want to be forgotten, and he knew it probably wouldn't happen, but he couldn't help but fear that it would.

It came to a point where it didn't seem like Carlos had much say in the matter of what his friends did. He couldn't stop Jay from having a lifetime of fun with Gil in wonderful places and he certainly couldn't stop Mal and Evie from going to college.

And okay, maybe he was jealous that Gil seemed to be Jay's new best friend. Carlos just didn't want to be forgotten. He could visit Mal and Evie but he wouldn't be able to visit Jay for a whole year, and that just didn't sit right with him. So, he devised a plan to make sure Jay couldn't forget about him. He decided that he was going to write a pack of letters, filled with funny, wonderful, and joyous moments that they had shared together. And if Carlos was able to find enough, he was going to insert a picture of them for each letter. That way, Jay would have to see Carlos' dumb face at least once a week.

A month before Jay was set to leave, Carlos got started on the letters. He made sure it was during the hours Jay was going to be gone. He didn't want to be interrupted and he didn't want to ruin the surprise.

He started it off simple,

"Hey Jay, you're probably wondering why there's a pack of about five hundred letters sitting in your suitcase. Well, I wrote these to make sure you don't forget about my ugly face while you're gone. I hope wherever you are is beautiful and don't forget to take lots of pictures."

They were generic and cheesy but he wrote them in a way that he hoped made Jay laugh. As predicted, since he wrote one almost every day, some were shorter than others. You can only make a story about baking disasters so long before it gets repetitive. Plus, the longer letters didn't necessarily mean they were better or more entertaining. When Carlos went back and re-read them, he found that he had said "hope you're having fun," about seven times in the same letter.

Writing the letters was a nice outlet for Carlos. They helped him express how angry and upset he was at this situation, that he wouldn't be able to voice aloud. If he tried hard enough, he could pretend Jay would never read these which allowed him to vent more.

"You're an idiot if you think I'm not angry that you're going on this trip. With Gil! Of ALL PEOPLE! I mean, you might as well take Harry, too!"

Or,

"Haha, don't forget about me over here, crying over my homework, while you're there livin it up in costa fuckin' rica"

So, yeah, some days he was mad more than others, but god damn he felt like he had a reason to be.

The letters also allowed him to vent his appreciation for Jay. And boy, Carlos had not realized before how much he really appreciated Jay. Before he even really realized it, he was writing sappy letter after sappy letter. It was getting a bit ridiculous. At one point, he had found himself writing,