Il libro di Jaylos

Fix Me in Forty-Five

taken from: under-latest-nostalgia (psionicTrickster) on Ao3
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Carlos was back.

Oh fuck no.

Dread tingles up Carlos' spine as the mattress under him feels too familiar and the fur brushing against his nose makes him want to vomit.

"Carloos!" a screech echoes through the room and just like that Carlos' knees buckle.

The air is too cold, stabbing at his lungs and Carlos can't breathe.

The mattress under him makes his skin itch.

No no no no no.

Carlos can feel his eyes start to prickle and another scream of his name makes him flinch a loud clack of the way too familiar sound of heals on slowly rotting floorboards makes him get up and get to the door shakily.

He opens the door and the hallway feels longer than its ever been.

He can see glints of metal reflecting the dim lighting behind him and he scratches at the streaks of scarred skin on his legs.

He takes a step forward and the sound of a metal teeth slamming shut pulls him to the floor, heart in his throat and breaking out in a cold sweat. His throat constricts and phantom pain spikes in his calves.

He looks down to see red streaming from his legs and chokes back a scream.

His vision swims and he hears someone calling him again.

"Carlos!"

Stopstopstop.Pleaseleavemealone.

"Carlos! Wake up!"

Carlos gasps awake, coughing into the warm body worriedly hovering over him.

"Are you okay?"

Carlos looks up shakily and sees Jay staring at him, eyes wide with worry.

Carlos takes a breath and leans into Jay's shoulder, scratching at his own legs.

"What happened?" Jay asks, as he strokes Carlos' hair.

Carlos rubs his eyes into Jay's shoulder, trying to rub the rest of the dream from his vision. He rubs at his legs and sighs.

"Dreams." Carlos whispers, "Bad ones. Thought I was back in the coat closet. Fuck. Its been years and when they come they're just as bad as before."

Carlos' fingernails dig harder into his legs, as if trying to prove that there were no rusty metal teeth clamping around his legs.

"Oh..." Jay breathes out. He catches the younger's hand as they lift to move to another scar on his calves, "What are you doing?"

Carlos frowns and his eyes prickle as he flexes his fingers, urge to pick at his scars spiking without his fingers scratching at them.

"I hate them." Carlos says, the most even thing he's said since he woke up, "Too many memories. Always bad. Reminds me of before."

Jay doesn't ask what that means. He knows, vaguely. Before in the isle. But not just that. Before the staff. Before Evie came back. Before. When Carlos had no one and nothing but scraps he needs to hide and a room surrounded by a forest of metal teeth.

Jay kisses Carlos deeply. Hates himself a little more for not being there before.

Carlos kisses back faintly, all teeth and nerves as if he was trying to ground himself. Carlos' teeth catch on Jay's lip when Jay pulls away and moved to press a kiss on the side of Carlos' neck.

Carlos shudders a little and Jay hopes its because of him rather than the remnants of the dream.

Jay nips at Carlos' neck, causing a gasp from the younger. Jay licks a stripe in apology and Carlos' breath hitches.