101 Letters Unsent. Ziall.

Number Eleven

I woke up again. I just laid there. Staring up at the ceiling. How could I ever have thought that I was going to be happy?

I sighed and sat up before walking over to my desk and started to write.

Niall,

I couldn't do it. Harry just sounded so weak since we both just lost Louis. I couldn't do it. Not yet at least. It's going to be really hard now that he's gone. It was hard enough without you but now Lou is gone. My life is just sucking at this point.

Harry promised me he would give every letter I write to you. I'm glad about that honestly.

-Zayn.

I put it in the drawer and stood up. I stretched and my phone vibrated. I looked at the text that was from Harry.

Hey Z. I'm going out with Hillary today okay? I'll be back in later. Don't do anything okay? Love you Z! -Haz.xx

Alright... No promises though. Love you too. -Zayn.xx

I threw on a pair of sweats and a v-neck before throwing my jacket on. I walked out of my house just to walk around and try to get my mind off of things.

I had my head down the whole time figuring that people would just walk around me but I guess sometimes I can be wrong. Hell I'm always wrong.

I heard laughter and just as I lifted my head, someone slammed right into me causing our lips to mold together. From the feeling that went through my spine, I knew exactly who it was. I felt my eyes start to water as he pulled away wide eyed.

" I'm so so- Zayn? " he asked and I just looked at him with very blurry vision.

" Hi Ni-all... " my voice cracked as I said his name. I wiped my eyes with my hands but it didn't really help.

" Babe! " I heard someone yell and I about fell to the ground crying.

" Zayn... Are you okay? " he asked me slowly.

" Listen Niall. I gotta go okay? I Uhm... Bye. " I said backing away from him and the ginger that was coming closer. Niall was about to say something but the ginger boy picked Niall up and he laughed genuinely. That's when I took off the other way.

I let out the loud sob that I was holding when I fell to the ground not far from them. I cried and screamed loudly as people stared. I heard shuffling from behind me and I shut up as fast as possible and wiped my eyes.

" Zayn are you okay??? Was that you screaming? " I heard Niall ask from behind me. I cleared my throat and stood up but didn't face him.

" No... " I mumbled. I felt his hand on my shoulder and shivers went through my spine.

" Zayn look at me please? " I swallowed hard before looking down and turning around. I only saw Niall's shoes standing there. He lifted my head up by my chin and forced me to look in his eyes. I could barely see because I was about to cry again and he gasped.

" I really gotta go Niall... " I tried but failed at holding in some tears that fell.

" Did... Did I make you cry? " he asked with guilt in his voice. I didn't know how to respond. I didn't want him to feel bad. " Did I? "

I slowly nodded. And tried to turn around but was embraced by a hug. Instinctively I hugged him back.

" I'm so sorry Zayn... I still do love you... " I pushed him away from me and stepped back. He looked at me surprised.

" No you don't. " I said straight up.

" Yes I do! " he tried. I pulled up my sleeve.

" Then you wouldn't have left. You wouldn't have cheated. You would've looked in every hospital until you found mine when I did this. " I held the arm with the stitches up. He gasped and used a hand to cover his mouth.