101 Letters Unsent. Ziall.

Number Two

I woke up alone. Niall's clothes were gone. There was no trace of him what-so-ever. I was starting to get worried. " Niall? " I called out.

No reply.

I decided to see if he was just down in my kitchen so I threw some clothes on and headed down stairs into the kitchen only to see my mum reading a small piece of paper in her hand. I walked up next to her and she looked up at me as if she was about to cry or something. She handed me the paper and I read it to myself.

Zayn,

I'm sorry but I have to leave. I love you and always will but we need to stop seeing each other.

Find a girl and make her happy.

-Niall.

I couldn't comprehend what the letter was saying for a moment. Once I did nothing could've stopped me from falling straight to the ground in tears. Mum bent down beside me and held me tight, attempting to keep me from crying but it wasn't having any effect at all. I just kept crying and crying until the point I couldn't breath. I tried to stand back up but my legs were extremely weak and I fell straight to the ground again. Mum helped me up and helped me to my room, knowing I wanted to be there. I laid down in my bed immediately and curled up into a ball and started to cry again.

I can't believe he left. Without waking me up. He left with just a note. He just up and left after everything was perfect. After he was finally ready. I feel used. Very used. But I can't say that because I loved him. I love him. With all my heart. That will never ever change. I don't care what people say about me. I will never love anyone as much as I love the boy who made my heart explode. The boy who made me smile every single second of the day. The boy who made me fall in love with him within a weeks time. The boy who told me he loved me with all his heart. The boy who said he would never leave me. The boy who I never thought would hurt someone like this. The boy who just completely shattered my whole world around me. The boy who... I Love With All My Life.

Mum told me that she was taking the girls out to see Grandparents so I was home alone until Harry and Lou came over. They were downstairs talking and I didn't want them to think I was home but I couldn't keep the sob inside my mouth as I remembered his beautiful face that lit up every time he would see me.

I heard them start to practically sprint up the stairs into my room. I was partically covered up but barely but I was still in the fedal position from this morning when I woke up. I had my phone turned off so I wouldn't be disturbed. They rushed over to me and crouched down in front of me. I could barely see them because my vision was so blurry from all of the tears.

" Zayn what happened?! " Louis asked VERY concered and VERY worried. I couldn't talk. I knew they wouldn't be able to understand me so I reached my shaking hand out that had the letter crushed inside of it towards the boys. Harry cautiously took it and read it along with Louis. Louis' hand covered his mouth and Harry just sat there in shock. I sobbed again and they quickly hugged me. They tried to sit me up and I attempted to and I finally sat up but I was still crying, unable to stop.

" Zayn it'll be okay... " Harry whispered.

" N-No it wo-n't! " I sobbed. I put my head in my hands and shook my head violently.

" Zayn wha- " Louis started but cut himself off as he looked behind the picture of me and Niall. He grabbed the little box from behind it and looked at it. " You were going to propose weren't you? " he asked me slowly.

I nodded my head as I attempted but EPICALLY failed to stop crying. " I-I was going to today....... This A-afternoon actually... " I somehow managed to choke out without much trouble.

" Oh god. " Louis and Harry bother said at the same time. Harry climbed onto the other side of the bed and hugged me tightly as Louis pulled his phone out. He held it up to his ear and walked out of the room. I leaned against Harry and silently cried into his shoulder as he comforted me.

" Shh... " he cooed. I just cried silently and Louis came back in.

" Harry we have to go.. Liam needs us. We'll be back Zayn. It'll be okay. We'll be back in about an hour or so okay? " I slowly nodded as Harry got off the bed and walked out with Louis. I waited until I heard the front door shut fully until I ran into my bathroom and dug through my shelves looking for a pocket knife I kept hidden.

When I finally found it, I opened it up and didn't hesitate before sliding it across my wrist one time. It stung at first but then it felt amazing. It was like all the pain I felt not but a few seconds ago just drained out of me. I looked down at my now bleeding wrist and cut it again. Then again. I cut until I had about five or six new cuts on my left wrist alone.

I washed them off and wrapped them up in gauze and went downstairs. I opened the fridge to find no milk. I didn't want to leave the house so I decided I would just drink water. I grabbed a glass from the cupboard and filled it up with water before heading back to my room.

I looked around for an empty notebook and a pencil. I finally found one under my bed and I sat down and started to write a letter to Niall.

Dear Niall,

What did I do? What did I do wrong Niall? I'm sorry for whatever I did. I don't want to find another girl and make her happy. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I really do. I was going to propose to you today but you left. You left me.

When mum handed me the letter you wrote, I broke down almost immediately. I haven't been able to stop crying. I can barely keep down the water I have without choking because of my sobs.

I've tried something new today. After Harry and Louis left I ran into the bathroom and grabbed the little pocket knife ya know? Well I found it and cut. I cut my wrists about five or six times. It helps get rid of the pain. Helps get rid of the broken feeling for a little while at least.

I just want to know what I did wrong. I still love you with all my life Niall James Horan.

Forever and Always.

-Zayn.

I sighed as I set the note book aside and put my iPod on replay knowing the only song it would play because I set it like that. I laid down and covered up ready to fell asleep to the song.

'You make me Smile like the sun.

Fall outta bed.

Sing like a bird.

Dizzy in my Head.

Spin like a Record.

Crazy on a Sunday Night.'

Tears fell as I slowly but surely fell asleep to Niall's voice singing Smile by Uncle Kracker to me the night of our first date.

'You make me Dance like a Fool.

Forget how to Breath.

Shine like Gold.

Buzz like a Bee.

Just the thought if You can drive me Wild.

Oh, You make me Smile.'