⚠️Self Harm⚠️
B E T T Y
I look into the mirror.. Donna was right.. I'm just a fat, ugly, pig who needs to stop eating
I wipe away the tear that had fallen, I locked my bathroom door as I dig for a razor, I picked one up and sat against the cabinets.. I take a deep breath.. I promised myself I wouldn't do this again but here we are once again..
I softly press it against my skin, letting out a shaky breath..
J U G H E A D
Today betty was home alone and I wanted to surprise her with some pops because Veronica called telling me she had a bad day.
I walked in using the spare key under the floor matt "Betty?" I shout no answer, I figured she'd be asleep, I went up to her room setting the bag of pops on the the desk, I look around she wasn't in her bed either..
I listen carefully and heard sobs from her bathroom and immediately my heart dropped, I ran over to the door shaking the handle, I know betty is Suicidal and maybe what ever happened at school must've been the last straw.
"Betty baby open the door please" I said choking back the tears waiting to spill I hate it, I hate hearing and seeing her go through this. The sobs only get louder "j-juggie g-go h-home.." she sobbed "no betty I'm not going anywhere until you unlock this door, what ever happened at school, it's not true baby it's not true" I said jiggling the door handle "no- but it is" she cried "betty please.. if you don't open the door I will kick it open" I said as a tear rolled down my face "betty?" I said no reply "BETTY!?" I shout as my heart began to race, tears beginnings to spill, rolling down my face, I began to kick the door. I walk back taking off my jacket and ran towards it hitting it open with the side of my body, the door flew open to reveal Betty her head in between her stomach and knees and her arms hovering around her, the razor right below my feet, I run up to her and pulled her into a hug kissing her head. "I-it's okay.. I-it's okay baby.. I-I'm right here.." I cried into her hair hugging her tightly as she cries into my grasp.
We laid down on her bed her body snuggling closely against mine with my arms wrapped around her tightly.. "why'd you do it?" I ask her as she sat up making me sit up to, "I-I Don't know.. I just..wanted to stop feeling.." she said playing with her fingers..
"I don't know..some times I can still feel the scars on my wrist throbbing.. like I have to take a blade and re cut them open again, but sometimes I wonder what it's like to just..end it..take a blade..and run it down my wrist, sit back and watch the dark red blood run down my arm, to feel the pain..to end it all to stop screwing up, to stop trying,to stop..living, breathing.." betty said sniffing as a tear rolled down her cheek as a tear rolled down mine as well "but hearing you cry.. I knew I couldn't do it.. I knew I couldn't, knowing the pain I'll put you through knowing you'll scream in pain every night for something you had no control over.." she said and began sobbing "come here pumpkin" I said pulling her into a hug as tears streamed down my face and hugged her as she sobbed into my shirt hugging me, "I'm sorry I made you cry.. I'm sorry you have to stop me from doing stupid shit" she cried as I kissed her head while shaking my head "no.. everytime you do this.. I put a brave face on.. but in the inside I'm dying and sobbing knowing I have no control over this.. and I guess this time.. I heard you sob for the first time behind the door I wasn't behind with and it scared me thinking that I was going to loose you.. I love you betty, fuck the people who don't see how much you are, how beautiful you are, how fucking sexy you are, you...are my perfection.. I love you every inch of you" I said kissing and stroking her head "I love you..please..don't do this again I'm begging you betty.." I cried "I will.. I love you.." she cried looking up at me, her eyes were red.. her face was pink and her lips were swollen..this..seeing the person you love so fucking much in so much pain.. will kill you.. feel like you've been stabbed in the heart like someone reached into your chest and ripped your heart out, you don't know how to breath..you don't know how to feel but to feel hurt..
No emotion but to sob.. the sight will kill you..
B E T T Y
Seeing the person you love so much care so much for you.. crying with you at your worst but comforting you at the same time.. putting on an act every time your life goes down hill and your sobbing knowing their sobbing and dying in the inside with you.. is what kills you...not when you take that blade and run it down your arm.. but after you do,do it.. your mom..dad..boyfriend..girlfriend..sisters...brothers and family members sobbing and crying and screaming for you to come back even though they know you can't.. not know your there watching them sobbing over your dead body.. and knowing it will be your fault..that is what truly kills you..
"I love you jughead" I said to him as he gave me a sad smile..his eyes were red from sobbing, his face was pink and his lips swollen.. "I love you too..never forget that.." he said as I smiled pulling him into a kiss as he rest his hand on my neck deepening the kiss.. this kiss wasn't like the others this one was filled with love and pain..the true feeling of love in just one kiss. We pull away from the kiss with smiles on our faces.. "I wanna eat pops now" I whispered making him chuckle "even in your sad times you can't turn down pops" he said making me laugh as he smiled when he heard my laugh "I'm a growing women and speak for yourself you never turn down pops either" I said making him laugh "your certainly not wrong" he said walking over to my desk grabbing the pops bag and brought it over to my bed getting back under the covers and ate as did i.
After we both ate we laid in my bed snuggled into each other grasp and watched movies enjoying each other's presence.. Jughead Jones.. you are my hero..
