Another Chance: As A Human 2

Chapter Seventeen: Let's Change That

I wake up to the voices arguing. I listen into it as best as I can. 

"How did you even know she was going to turn it off?" I hear a voice but can't quite make it out 

"I've seen it before. With me, and Damon, and even with you. I know the face all to well." Says Stefan 

He's right. I never turned my humanity off before because I could deal with the pain. I could deal with the choices I made with no guilt or regret. This time... this time was different. The pain that I saw on Stefan's face filled me with so much of that that I didn't want to feel it. Didn't want to feel his pain, Qetsiyah's pain or even my pain. I get up off what I'm assuming is the couch and groan as I rub my neck. I grab the arm of it to gain some sort of balance and walk to the sound of their voices. I get into Damon's room and they all look at me. Stefan's face was filled with anger, sadness, and love all in one look. Like the people earlier he engulfs me in a hug. After a moment he pulls away and now it's just anger. 

"I can't believe that you were about to turn your humanity off." 

"Your face. I couldn't..." I'm stopped by his lips lightly pressing onto mine 

I can tell through this small kiss that there is till love for me in his heart, even after I killed Qetsiyah. I quickly pull away from him and move away from him. 

"You can't keep doing that Stefan. For the past a hundred and forty-five years I have loved you and have waited for you just to not have your love returned. I can't keep loving you." I finish 

"From your choice in men, I'd say otherwise." He smiles 

I laugh at the little comment that I remember me saying something a little like that just a few years ago. He laughs with me and it makes me feel just a little bit better. 

"I know you killing Qetsiyah is hard on you and you must think I hate you, but I don't. She threatened you and your child and left you no choice. Yes, I'm sad about it but it was for the best. I think." He mumbles that last part 

"I'm going upstairs to sleep. I'll see you guys later." 

I walk up to my room and I head straight for my closet and grab my suitcase. I start to stuff a few clothes in it when I feel a gush of wind. I turn around and see Silas. 

"I thought you weren't running?" He asks 

"I'm not. I'm leaving of my own free will." I say continuing 

"Do you really feel guilty about killing Qetsiyah?"  

"I do. And I can't stick around knowing I killed Stefan's chance at love. He already lost Elena to his brother and now he's lost Qetsiyah to me. I can't stay here and I won't." 

Silas grabs my wrist and stops me from what I'm doing. "Let me come with you. Let's go visit our daughter, please." He begs 

I snatch my wrist from his hand and back away from him. 

"What did you not understand when I said I wanted space? Hm? That didn't mean for you to sneak into my room!" I raise my voice a little 

"I didn't sneak into your room, I waited here for you. Were you really going to turn your humanity off?" He asks 

"Yes, yes I was. What's it to you?" I grab a bottle of bourbon and place in in my purse

"You killed someone. I know how you feel about that situation and it sucks. But that doesn't mean you turn it off." He goes to reach for me once more 

Before he gets a chance I move away and into the bathroom. I grab a few essentials and stuff them into the suitcase. 

"Katherine, stop." He pleads 

"No, Silas. I won't stop. I'm leaving and that's final and the sooner the better." I zip up my bag and pop out the handle 

"Then I'm coming with you. I'm not asking now, I'm demanding." He finally demands something 

I don't feel like arguing with him or even being in his presence. "I'm getting really tired of necks snapping around here." I say, distracting him  

"What do you mean?" He asks 

And in one movement of my hands he falls to the ground. I grab my suitcase and I decide to jump out of my window. I land on the ground and get into my car and press the start engine button. Thank God my car is silent enough to where you don't hear it turn on. I take the long way out of town so I can get one last look at it. The street where where I kissed Stefan goodbye back in 1864, the clock tower I jumped off in one of my weakest times in life, The Mystic Grill where I had my first dinner with Silas. I went from loving this town, to hating it, and then back to loving it. I get to the border of the town and stop my car just in front of The Mystic Falls sign. I reach into my purse and I take a swig of the bourbon. I think about the choice I'm about to make and I think that I've made my decision. Twenty minutes and half a bottle later I drive on past that Mystic Falls sign. I think about all the pain I have caused since I had returned here, all the drama, Silas turning into a vampire, giving up my baby once again, and the guilt of killing Qetsiyah when all she wanted was Stefan back. I just take in all of it and close my eyes. 

"Please forgive me." 

The feeling of relief washes over me as I feel all the guilt, regret, and sadness drain from me. I forget everything that has happen as it turns to black. I open my eyes once more and every feeling that I once had, was gone. Just like that.