APUI: Volume 1 - My Life as a Werewolf

Chapter 39: And so the Truth Finally Comes Out

< 💣 G POV 💣 >

I stood up in the middle of the cafeteria and climbed onto the table I was previous sitting at. The whispers became more feverish when I did that. I hadn't been at school for over a week and I currently looked like shit and was wearing Graces clothes.

I cleared my throat and everyone stopped talking, clearly wanting me to speak and to find out the answers to the questions arisen by the gossip about me and my absence.

"Hi guys. Most of you know me as Bella. Maybe Bella Stanley if you want to be specific. The truth is I haven't been completely honest with you.

"The truth is I don't have a sister. The truth is Jack isn't my first mate. The truth is I'm not Bella.

"My name is Grace Isabella Stanley. I have a brother, two years older than me, called Chris and a dog called Glossy. We moved around quite a bit when I was younger. We would move countries every three years. England, then Thailand, than Australia. When we got here though, we didn't move. We stayed in the same place. Exactly 8 years after we moved to Australia, the rogues caught up to us. My parents were murdered when I was 13 and Chris was 15. We both saw it happen and that scars a child. After that we both went into depression. The other family who were with us also lost their parents. It hit them hard too.

"We all hardly ate. We all hardly slept. We all hardly lived. Eventually child services stepped in and created an ultimatum that basically said, 'If you don't get your shit together, you will be put in foster care, and you will probably be split up.' So we all embarked upon the road to recovery at different rates.

"Chris appeared to recover the quickest, but I know the wounds still run deep. I reckon that he was forced to recover and take responsibility for the others and I, as he is the eldest of our party. Maybe the dog helped too. Chris was stable after he shifted for the first time on his 16th birthday, two months after the murder.

"Ash, the next oldest, also recovered relatively quickly. She did have preexisting mental problems before the murder but I think she was forced to recover due to the responsibility of a younger sibling. Ash was stable by Christmas.

"Tara was only 11 when the murder took place. We locked her in a cupboard when the fight occurred so she did not see her parents get ripped to shreds. Of course, she was there, and of course, she knew what happened, but she didn't witness it and that is what makes all the difference. Tara was never quite the same after it but recovered slightly after the others.

"Me, however. I had no reason that make a speedy recovery. The depression deepened. I never started eating or sleeping normally again, unlike the others. I lost weight. I lost lots of weight. My grades slipped. Suddenly A's turned to B-'s. I never cut my wrists. I was smart and was not that far gone. Yet. Again, the government intervened, but this time it was only me who would be sent away. I couldn't do that and leave my pack.

"I had weight goals. I had grade goals. I had to hook myself up to a sleep monitor each night to fulfil my sleep goal. That was when I first created Bella in my mind. She wouldn't become real until later. Originally, Bella embodied my goals. She was the ideal physical me. I managed to convince myself that if I reached, if I became like Bella, life would be peachy. And it was. I, Grace, was not happy. But I was content. For now.

"At 15 1/2, something unusual happened. I met my mate. He was 19. He was an alpha. He was a gentleman. He pretended to be a gentleman. Really, he was just a sexist, controlling arse who only wanted me to be the perfect Luna and mate, and to make him more powerful.

"For the first while he was perfect. Then the verbal abuse and shouting started. Then the slaps. He began punching me. Breaking bones. He became a dictator. He told me I was worthless. I didn't believe him. He told me I would make a horrible Luna. I did agree this time. He told me I had to dress glamorously. I had to be pretty. And this is where Bella comes in again.

"Now, instead on using Bella as a goal for me to achieve. Instead of embodying Bella with my goals for myself, I embodied her with Xander's goals for me. I came up with the idea when he forced to go be introduced to the other alphas. He laid down some ground rules. I was going to be lying about some aspects of my life so why couldn't I be a whole new person.
#1: I had to be of respectable age. Bella was 2 years older than me - 17 1/2 years old.
#2: I had to be of respectable intelligence. Bella was attending a local university, studying medicine. I wanted Bella to be study to become a general practitioner. Xander said she had to be studying nursing.
#3: I had to be of respectable femininity. That mean Bella was forced to wear lingerie, a dress, heels, makeup and have pretty hair. Bella could cope with that.

"And so that was how Bella was created. As a way for my delicate conscience to deal with her mate's demands. Bella was Xander's mate in public. Bella was perfect. But Grace was still Xander's mate in private. And Grace was strong back then.

"I began training in hand to hand combat. I learnt how to block the worst blows. I knew how to fight back. But I didn't use it yet. Xander had also issued me with demands regarding our mating progress. He wanted to mate by the end of the first month. He wanted an heir as soon as he could. I would effectively be used as a good fuck and a baby making machine. That's when I said no. All through the month I said no. And when the end of the month came and we hadn't mated, Xander was angry. So I ran away.

"Living on your own is difficult. Running away from the other half of your soul, no matter how twisted that half may be, is even more difficult. I, Grace, began to believe what Xander said. I was weak. I was worthless. I was so weak that I was running away. I was so worthless that my mate considered rejecting me. I would be a horrible Luna. And so the depression came back. And it came back worse.

"Drinking. Substance abuse and addiction. Bella leaked into Grace, and Grace into Bella. Grace became weak. Submissive. Bella became strong. But now there were two Bellas. And two Graces. Old and new. When I was a runaway, I stuck with the new versions. And, after almost a month on the road, when Xander found me again, they stuck around.

"Xander was cheating on me. He was using me. He enjoyed watching me suffer. But we kept up the façade. I didn't know who I was anymore. I was weak Grace. So I turned into weak Bella when Xander asked. But if Xander went too far, strong Grace came back. And eventually Xander went way too far. And I snapped.

"I rejected my original mate after I found him fucking some other girl in our room. And not just some other girl but my worst enemy. I was sick of being treated like trash. Sick of being thrown to the curb when a prettier, newer thing became available. I was just another one of Xander's toys. The most important toy, but a toy all the same. So I thought fuck him. I'm young. I'm fucked up enough already. What the hell have I got to lose. So strong Grace came back for one last hurrah. And we rejected his worthless ass.

"My wolf was sad though. Then Xander was in a car crash and fell off a bridge. That was the end of that. And then, with two months until my 16th birthday, I fell into depression for a third time. Or maybe I never got out. It was the same as last time. But this time I wasn't running. I got over it. Sort of.

"So Grace was weak. And Bella was strong. When we moved here for safety in numbers, I never thought I would find my second chance mate. And I never thought he would be a great enough guy to act like an absolute dickhead just to protect me from himself. I never thought he would go against himself to protect me. He shouldn't have to.

"But when he rejected me, I didn't know the real reason. I just thought he was, as I said, an absolute dickhead. So Grace, who was the new version, the one who was weak, swapped places with Bella, the one who was strong. And the rest you know.

"I have an acute case of multiple personality disorder and schizophrenia. I have mild-severe depression. I have anorexia. I am Grace Isabella Stanley. And that was the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth."

They sat there stunned. They needed time to digest. I knew that my story, particularly delivered like that, was hard to comprehend so I promptly stepped off my table, walked out of the school and home. Although I felt extremely exposed, I knew that it was good for me to get it together off my chest.

My work here was almost done. Strong Grace was back for a second "last hurrah". I was finally in my right mind enough to do some good for the world and sort this shit out. At home I was alone and could solve the worlds problems. No one thought to follow me until later.