APUI: Volume 1 - My Life as a Werewolf

Chapter 36: Dejavu is not Good for me

Finished c. 18/10/2015

< 💣 B POV 💣 >

He stepped towards me, his eyes like bottomless blackholes, darker than the deepest pits of Tartarus. My blood froze in my veins. This was not my mate. This was the creature that marked me, the one that took over Jackson to get to me. It was blatantly obvious that there was something Jack wasn't telling me, and that that something was what cause the monster to come out.

When the monster had marked me, Jack had still been struggling for control. Now, the monster had all the control and was the only once calling the shots, or, in my case, firing the shots. He smiled wickedly and that's when I remembered. I finally understood why the flashbacks had gotten so much worse after I was marked. I understood why they had begun to impend into my daily life. There had been a trigger. The trigger was the monster.

...He smirked...
...His eyes got darker and darker...
...He laughed cruelly...

The monster was exactly like Xander. And Xander terrified me.

My body shut down at the realisation. I couldn't think. I couldn't breath. It was exactly how I felt while consumed by memories, except, this was in real life. I couldn't will myself to get up and walk away. I had nowhere to walk away too. I was past the point of no return, there was no way to escape from my frighteningly close and expectedly grisly end. The same as all those months ago, in the era where Xander ruled my existence, my pitifully mortal life hung in the balance.

The monster extended its claws, ordinary fingernails turning into weapons. And I waited for my death. The monster heightened its senses, enabling a perfect kill. And still, I waited patiently for my death. He laughed, that maniacal laugh that I remembered all too well, confirming my worst suspicions of his evil intentions. I yet I did nothing.

My brain had zoned out of my surroundings. I felt disconnected from my physical form. While the monster chatted to me about the best way to use werewolf claws to skin a human, I found myself contemplating the timeliness of my death. Had the fates not been kind? My days had been numbered from the moment the men stepped into my childhood home. From the second my parents screams had been cut short, my destiny had been set. I had known I would die and I accepted that now. I had survived so much and it was now my time to go. The thread of life I was hanging onto was so feeble it was amazing I was even breathing currently.

Claws slashed down my face and brought me back to where my consciousness belonged, for now. I screamed, breathing deeply. And I had another epiphany, as to why I had lived so long - I didn't want to be fucking murdered.

I had ventured deeper into the forest knowing Jackson had killed Charlie - assuming the monster had taken over. Yet, when confronted with the monster, I had done nothing. He had murdered the only thing that relied on me, depended on me. He had ripped apart the one thing that hadn't abandoned or hurt me. He had taken an innocent life and I was no longer angry.

Now, he was trying to kill me, and I was still not angry. I wanted to die on my own terms. No one else should decide when it's time for me to leave. I come and go as I want. If I wanted to live through this, I had to sod calm, and get angry. So I did.

My wolf blazed in my eyes and I lunged at him. Scraping my elongated nails down his side, I bit my fangs into his shoulder. The monster was not happy. He flopped onto the ground, on top of me, and attacked the same way I had. He chomped into my shoulder as I withdrew my teeth from his. Thrashing my head from side to side, I struggled in attempt to get him off. He wouldn't budge and I had to resort to shifting. I shrunk, elongated and sprouted fur. The monster had to let go of me, and shifted too.

We circled each other before the Monster made the first move. He pouched on me and we barrelled into a tree. His claws were buried deep into my sides so I moved my head and bit down hard. Like this, we rolled around, both trying to get an advantage over the other.

All of the legends say that one mate cannot hurt the other, but life has often proven that false. There are stories of abuse and even murder. Xander mentally and emotionally abused me. However, abuse was more frequent in the olden days where males were dominant and packs fought for land, hunting and mates. That was when women were possessions and had no freedom and Xander had always gotten the most annoyed when I had asked to 'be my own person'.

The monster was the same. It wanted me to be its property so that's was why it had come when I had cut myself. He thought that someone else had done it, and came to kill that person. When it turned out that person was me he got angry. I was not obeying. I was a danger to myself. I was ruining his property. He was an angry Alpha male, fighting me to the death. The only way I could get out of this alive was to submit.

I made a high pitched squeal noise and the monster stopped. Removing my teeth from his shoulder I slunk into the ground with my tail between my legs. I was trying to apologise. Surprisingly, he stood back and looked at me, growling. That was his way of letting me I was only just forgiven. I was expecting less so this was good. I was probably more useful to him than I assumed.

Testing my luck, I walked in the direction towards a tree I knew there were clothes stashed in. He did nothing but stare at me. I didn't know who was who anymore. Was I looking at Jack, Luke, or the monster? What even was the difference?

Shifting back, I found the tree and collected the shirt and the pair of bike pants for me, as well as the shorts for Jackson. That was all there was in one tree. If you had more than one girl or more than one guy needing clothes, you had to find another tree.

Back at the slight clearing where we fought, Jackson was sitting naked in the middle. I threw the shorts at him before picking up the ruined clothes from the forest floor. When he had changed, we looked at each other and simultaneously sat and leaned against a tree. I sighed. Today was turning out to be a very long day.