I Hear Your Heart Cry For Love.

Part 17

*LIZZY'S POV*

"Tom, you'll never know just how sorry I am for all this. I never wanted all this to happen!" I said as I looked Tom in the eyes. I felt so much pain and so much sadness for everything which I had done, I never did want any of this to happen but I knew it would. I could feel the tears slowly building up in the corner of my eyes, but I wasn't going to let them fall. But there was something in Tom's eyes which showed he didn't want to believe me, almost like he thought I was lying in order to make him happy. That just made me feel even worse in the fact I knew he didn't believe me and I'm sure he would be about to try and cover it all up.

But I'd been with Tom long enough to know when he was lying. And I knew he would lie. No doubt about that one.

"Look Lizzy, I..." but he couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence which is what hurt the most. He couldn't bring himself to tell me that he loved me and after everything we've been through, that just makes me feel like I meant nothing to him. Almost like he only stayed with me because he felt like he had no other choice. A feeling which I never thought I would have to feel in my life. Looks like I was wrong and the person I loved more than anything at one point has made me aware of what it is like to feel that way.

"You can't say it, can you?" I asked, removing myself from his grip and looking at him again. At that point I let the tears fall and sadness covered my whole body. The realisation of this is where me and Tom are going to end finally hit me and I didn't know what to say or do,

"Can't say what?" he asked, acting like he had no idea what I was talking about.

"You can't tell me that you love me...because you don't anymore, do you?" I replied, the tears still silently rolling down my cheeks. I knew it was only going to get worse from here and I know that it is all my fault. If I could go back and change all this then I would. But I can't and it's something I have to live with for a long time now.

The fact I was stupid enough to cheat on Tom Parker. Only an idiot would do something like that.

"Lizzy, it's not that-"

"Tom I know you well enough to know the truth, so don't bother lying to me. Just tell me the truth, do you love me anymore?" I intrerrupted him since there was no point in preventing the inevitable any longer. Tom didn't love me and I just wanted him to tell me that instead of dragging this whole conversation out for longer than it needed to be. The only thing which will always bother me, is why didn't he end it sooner? If me and Nathan bothered him that much then he could have ended it when he found out, told the papers some story about how we've split up and we wouldn't be having this problem right now. Sometimes I wonder if he ever loved me at all or if he just wanted a woman on his arm so people would stop calling him a player. I guess I'll never know and I'll just remember the good times we did spend together.

"Love isn't an emotion which you can turn off over night Lizzy. I just don't know what I want anymore and I don't think you know either, I know you keep telling me that you love me but I think it's Nathan that you want. Not me and that's the way it's always been...you mean a lot to me Lizzy but I need time to decide what I want right now!" Tom replied, like he knew exactly what I wanted. But he has no idea how wrong he is about the whole thing, but that doesn't seem to mean a thing to him. It's not like I've ruined my friendships with pretty much all my friends because I didn't tell them about me being with Tom. And it's not like I argued with my dad everytime I saw him about how Tom wasn't good enough for me and he would only end up breaking my heart - looks like he was right with that one though. And it's not like I told Nathan I didn't want to be with him anymore because it was Tom that I loved. No. None of that happened because I never even loved him...well, that's what he thinks anyway. Now he can only blame himself if I do end up with Nathan because he would have driven me to it. I will just be the one that gave him a chance, sure I messed up but I did everything I could to make it right again, but he threw that all back in my face like it meant nothing.

Well it's too late to change the past. But I can sure as hell make the future a good one...with or without Tom.

"Well, looks like you need time to think so I guess I'll just leave now. Thanks for nothing Tom, guess I'll be seeing you around then..." I replied as I walked out of the room, wiping my tears away from my eyes. The main reason I was crying was because he just ended it like that. No thought put into it. No reasons behind it other than he needs time to thiks. No effort put in, he just made it happen. I feel like a complete twat now for the fact I kept trying to make the relationship. Now I think about it, it was probably doomed from the beginning but I just thought it could work. Just once I thought I could be happy. But instead I'm watching my whole world come crashing down around me.

I took a deep breath as I walked into mine and Tom's bedroom for the last time. I slowly looked around, taking in the surroundings which were all around me. The pictures which hung on the wall. The bed which still remained un-made. The wardrobe which had always been a total mess anyway. This was the life I was used to and now I had to change everything. I was going to have to find somewhere to live. Was going to have to find some new friends, which probably wouldn't be the easiest thing in the world. And I was going to have to move on with everything...I was going to have to forget this part of my life, like it never even happened or existed, that was the part which was going to be the most difficult I think.

I placed myself on the edge of the bed, Pulled my knees up to my chest and cried. That's all I could do right now. Was cry. It seemed like the easiest solution to me, it let every emotion out and it meant people would leave you alone. I just didn't know what else to do right now. I had been hurt by the one guy I loved more than anything in the world. I know ot was all my fault, but he didn't have to act the way that he did. If he had ended it when he first found out, then I wouldn't be sat here like this. Right now. I just feel extremely stupid and like nothing will ever go right for me again. Pathetic really.

I was disrupted from my thoughts by the bed going down, as two people took seats either side of me. They just both pulled me into a hug and tried to make everything alright. It was the two least likely people who were hugging me though. Yeah. Nathan and Jay were the two people who were comforting me. I thought they would be happy about what had happened, but turns out they actually felt sorry for me and knew it was partly their fault. Mostly my fault though. No denying that bit. The only thing I can do now is move on and look to the future. Things can only get better from here...