I Hear Your Heart Cry For Love.

Part 18

*NATHAN'S POV*

I sat on the bed next to Lizzy and in that moment, I felt so bad. I felt like this was somehow my fault...well, it was my fault. If I hadn't told her that I loved her, then she might not be in this position right now. She would still be in a happy relationship with Tom, which is how she should be. Not sat here. Crying to herself because he ended it with thought. How could I be so stupid?

Of course she was never going to tell me that she loves me. She loved Tom and she always loved Tom. I was just the person who filled the gap that she didn't have anyone else. I was the one stupid enough to keep asking for more. I guess I just wanted to be happy and I thought Lizzy would be the one to make me happy. I mean, she doesn make me happy. I don't think I've ever been more happy with someone than when I'm with Lizzy - but I know that nothing will ever happen between us. Well, nothing serious will ever happen anyway. It's too soon after Tom ending it. And all he said was that he needed time to think...means there is a chance for them in the future. Which also means there is no chance for me right now. Everything just gets so much harder from here. It wasn't easy in the first place, but at least I got to spend time with her. Now, I'll be lucky if I ever see her again.

"Look guys, I'm sorry for everything. If I had never walked into any of your lives, then you would all be so much happier..." Lizzy mumbled onto my shoulder through the tears.

"That's not true. Tom might be angry now but before all this happened, you made him so happy and it was the first time he's actually settled down with someone. You made him realise that he doesn't need five girls in one night just to make himself happy!" I replied as I wrapped my arm tighter around her, pulling her in close to my body. Just having her this close to me made me feel something I had never felt before. I didn't know what I was feeling but I liked it, I wish I could feel this way all the time. She made me the happiest I had ever been. Just this one simple thing, yet I was so happy to have it. I wish I was as lucky as Tom. I wish I was able to call her mine. But knowing that will never happen makes everything hurt so much more.

"I didn't make him happy. I made his life miserable, he only stayed with me because he thought he had no other choice!"

"And how do you know that?" Jay asked with a shocked expression written across his face. I have to admit that I was shocked by this revelation as well. I always thought that he loved her more than anything in the world. I assumed this was all just a reaction to what occurred between me and Lizzy. I never thought for a second he would only stay with her because he thought he had no choice. Sometimes I wonder what goes through that guy's head.

"Because he thinks I love Nathan. He thinks it always has been and always will be Nathan...he stayed with me so I couldn't be with him!" she replied as she pulled away from me and pulled her knees further up to her face. Forming a protective shield of her own. I thought it would be best if me and Jay just left her to it. She needed time to herself. Time to prepare for what was now going to happen. The time for her to leave was fast approaching...no matter how much I don't want her to leave. This could be the last time I ever see her again and that thought was enough to being me to tears.

I hated how this had turned out. If I could go back and change all this. Then believe me, I would. I would go back and either make Lizzy mine before she was Tom's or I would never have slept with her in the first place. None of this would be happening. I wouldn't be blaming myself for everything which has gone on. But there's no point in wishes. Afterall, wishes never come true anyway.

"We'll leave you to pack your stuff then. Wouldn't want Tom getting angry because you're still here..." I said, trying to hide the sadness from my voice. I didn't do it very well though.

"Yeah, we'll leave you to it. I need to have a word with Nath..." Jay added, pushing himself up from the bed while pulling Lizzy in for one last hug before gesturing me out of the bedroom. I had a feeling that I knew what he was going to talk to me about. Can't all be good liars. That would be no fun.

"Make sure you come and say bye before you leave..." I muttered quitely to her before following Jay out of the room. Leaving Lizzy to her tears. To her sadness. To her thoughts. Probably the worst thing to happen at a time like this, but it's not like I had any other choice. Jay had stopped right at the top of the stairs and just gave me a look. The look which he had given me so many times before, but this time it seemed like it was something different. I didn't know what he was going to say to me, but I knew what this was about.

"You can NEVER be with Lizzy, you know that right?" Jay said, making sure he emphasised the 'never' part of the sentence which just made me feel a hundred times worse than I did before. Especially since he said it with practically no emotion in his voice and without expression on his face.

"You think I don't know that Jay? I'm not stupid, I know nothing can ever happen but it doesn't stop the fact I have feelings for her!" I whispered angrily.

"Well if you didn't keep sleeping with her in the first place, you wouldn't have any feelings for her..."

"He's welcome to her. I don't need some bitch like her ruining my life anyway..." Tom said as he walked past us and towards his bedroom. Lizzy was right. He was only staying with her because he was feeling sorry for her.

"I hope you can live with you've done Nath and come back to me when you've grown up!" was the last thing Jay said to me before he disappeared downstairs. But he was right about everything. I didn't need to sleep with her, I did it because I was bored and had nothing better to do. At the beginning it was all just a bit of fun but then I devloped feelings for her. I know it sounds stupid. But you can't help what you feel for someone. It just sort of happened. It was never planned and I never meant to break up Tom and Lizzy's relationship. I feel bad that it did happen but now it has happened, the only thing we can do is move on. And that includes Tom.

Things happen and people change. I'm not the boy the all think I am anymore and I'm going to prove that to them all. In the process, I will probably make both Jay and Tom hate me...but I don't care. I've got a point to prove and I'm going to do everything I can to prove it to them...