Bloody Crayons #Recolored (Star Cinema Movie)

Mixing The Unmixable

Bloody Crayons
Mixing the unmixable
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Richalaine

Have you ever tried standing outside a store? Ever tried looking at those beautiful things inside the display cases? Ever felt that selfish desire to own them? To have them?

Ever tried extending your hand to reach them? Ever wanted to be with them? Ever wished that you were on the other side of that window?

Ever experienced getting your hand blocked by the glass?

Have you ever felt and realized that there is always something preventing you from getting what you wanted? That there's always a glass window blocking you from going to that place you wanted to be?

For me that glass window is poverty. Ang hirap maging mahirap. Hindi mo mapuntahan yung gusto mong lugar. Hindi mo makain yung gusto mong kainin. Hindi mo magawang magsaya kasi nga gastos lang din naman yun. Na nakabudget lahat. Na lahat ng gagawin mo, dinidikta ng budget. Pati nga pagaaral ko hindi rin nakatakas. Palaging meron yung takot ko na baka matigil ako kapag nawala ang scholarship ko. Who ever said that poverty is not a hindrance to success is an overly optimistic idiot whose head is way up in the clouds.

Poverty is a hindrance. A threat. It controls you because you are powerless to fight it. I can't even love someone I wanted to love because of my economic status. Ganun kalaking balakid ang kahirapan sa buhay ng mga tao.

Langit siya. Ako hampaslupa. Purified water siya, ako nanlilimahid na langis na napakarungis. Mayaman siya at perpekto, ako mahirap na walanghiya.

"Oh, mukhang malalim ata ang iniisip mo ngayon ah?" Untag sakin ng katabi ko. Hindi na ako nagabala pang lumingon kasi hininga palang, kilala ko na kung sino siya.

Siya lang naman kasi ang lalaking naging dahilan para mawasak at mabitak yung glass window na pumipigil at humaharang sakin palagi. Siya lang naman yung talang matagal kung tiningala sa ere at pinangarap na balang araw, makita ko ito ng mas malapitan. Siya lang naman ang boyfriend ko.

"Di naman masyado lalabs. Nag reminisce chuchu lang ako." Nakangiti kong sabi. "Yung mga momentum na was pa tayo mag jowewe."

Napakunot siya nung hindi niya naintindihan yung sinabi ko. "Again with the gay lingo Richalaine? Alam mo namang hindi ako ganun kabihasa sa lengguwaheng yan diba?"

Natawa nalang ako sa reaction niya. "Sabi ko, inaalala ko yung mga panahong hindi pa tayo. Yung mga panahong negative pa ang take ko sa life."

"Mga panahong negative pa yung take mo sa life? Bakit di mo ata nakwento sakin 'yan?" Nakataas ang isang kilay na tanong niya. Di na ako nagtaka kung bakit siya nagulat sa sinabi ko. From day 1 kasi na nagkakilala kami, yung masayahing Richalaine lang yung pinapakita ko sa kanila. Yung Richalaine na babaeng bakla.

I just didn't want them to see my problems. I just didn't want them to see me troubled. I just didn't want them to see me suffering.

It's funny really. Despite me being loud and talky, I still hide things. I still keep secrets. I talk a lot but in reality, I talk less.

And this is what people really do.

Contrary to what others believe, it's not the silent that is really secretive. Oftentimes those that are very loud, very happy and very energetic people are the ones with the saddest stories. And they hide those behind the smiles and the laughter.

Not because they're strong. No. That is never a sign of strength. They keep their suffering secret because they're scared to show their weakness. They're afraid to bend. And what happens to things that don't bend? They break. They snap. They crack.