To the moon and back

If you love me, don't let go

SOTD: UNSTEADY BY THE X AMBASSADORS (if you're into the kinds of songs I've been putting up for these chapters, you should tots go and check out my 8tracks playlist;

Beside you by xinfiniteandbeyondx

I've got other playlists that fit every mood and...whatever, I'm a music addict )

PS., MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE AND AN EARLY MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL! I HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL HOLIDAY WITH THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE AND ADORE. NEVER FORGET THE TRUE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS (AS IT'S DIFFERENT FOR US ALL) BUT, TO ME, IT MEANS BEING WITH THOSE WHO MAKE LIFE THAT MUCH BETTER WITH THEIR PRESENCE.

~

He called me about an hour later.

I didn't want to pick it up, hell I would've totally let it go straight to voice mail had Ethan not quickly checked the caller ID and slid the 'answer' icon. I gave him a glare and he shrugged as if he hadn't totally done the opposite of what I wanted.

"Harper?" I rolled my eyes at the sound of Andrew's deep voice and grunted.

"What"

He sighed taking a couple seconds, "What happened early today...it was~"

"Stupid? Complete BS?" I snapped cutting him off and rolling my eyes when Ethan gave me a 'cool it' look. Really? I was the one who had totally been disrespected in the grand scheme of things, not Andrew.

"Yes...it was all that and more and I'm so sorry" My heart softened only slightly at how gentle he spoke, " Things with my dad are complicated and I didn't, and still don't know, how I feel about everything"

"What do you mean?" I asked as some of my icy exterior melted away. It was seldom that one could hear Andrew sound this...this defeated.

"Open the door" he murmured gently. My eyebrows shot up and I looked at Kyle's front door, standing up slowly and walking over to it.

"What are you doing?" Ethan grunted giving me an odd look. I just shushed him and turned the lock on Kyle's door, opening it to reveal Andrew staring right at me.

He was still in his black jeans and white shirt from earlier today but it was his face that had changed. Gone was the forced air of nonchalance, a bleak nature in it's place. I moved aside and he slowly brushed past me, not looking away from me the entire time.

Ethan and Kyle quickly scurried out of the living room after a couple muttered "Hey's" and it was just us left, staring at each other unblinking. I was the first to look away and he let out a breath.

"Harper, I hardly know my father. The twelve years I knew him might as well have been the six I didn't; when he wasn't at the office, he was in his home office" I wanted nothing more than to turn for the door and leave but there was something that had me rooted in place, "I didn't want to introduce you to him because... Harper you're too special" my eyebrows furrowed at this and I let out a dry laugh.

"Bad save" I murmured. Already over this entire conversation, I trudged to the couch ready to grab my bag but I tensed the moment I felt his warm hand on my arm.

"Listen, Harper you're easily the most special girl I have ever met in my entire life and what we have is next to none" He began, "I don't know, I guess I felt like introducing you to my father, as my girlfriend, would be like sharing apart of myself with someone who didn't even deserve it; someone who could up and forget about you all in all...My father doesn't deserve to know your smile, or your aura, or your personality; that's giving him too much"

I faltered as he spoke and turned to look into his clear eyes, "I didn't know you felt like that...I mean, how could I when you refuse to tell me anything"

He nodded at this and bit his bottom lip in thought, "I know and I'm sorry for that but this kind of stuff isn't easy for me. Feelings and all of that is harder than any equation you could ever throw at me and...and they make you weak"

I instantly caught onto what he was saying, "You think feeling makes you weak?"

He shrugged and looked away from me, "I know they do and the last thing I ever want is for you to see me weak like that...there are only three things on this planet that could ever make me feel like that and two of those I lost as a child"

He didn't even have to explain what he meant and I looked down as he spoke again, "And the third I was lucky enough to practically kidnap last summer"

I couldn't help the small grin that appeared on my face as he gently tugged on the zipper of my coat, pulling me against him.

"Chandler and Ethan are somewhere in the mix but I'll deny it if you tell anyone" he brought his gentle hands up to cup the sides of my face, "But denying you was the worst thing I could've ever done and I'm so sorry"

As much as I wanted to make him beg a little, cuz let's be real; Andrew Gold doesn't beg, everything he said hit a nerve that made me feel like the bad guy. I should have never assumed the worst of Andrew no matter how bad it all seemed, I should've known that there was some kind of explanation for it all despite the way it made my stomach turn.

The relationship Andrew had with his father was one unknown to me and, by the sounds of things, one unknown to him as well and I couldn't stand there and pretend I didn't understand, in theory, the feeling. Here I was, with a birth mother I refused to speak to because it burned too much to even look at her.Despite all of that, I had a real mother back home who was more than I could've ever asked for and loved me better than any biological mother ever could.

I couldn't possibly imagine what it felt like to feel the way I felt about Dana, about one half of the only parents you had ever known. It was hard and I could tell that just in the way he spoke.

"I understand, Andrew" I smiled up at him and he gave me a small one back, "I'm going to keep on trying to understand through all of this because I owe that to you"

He pulled me in for a long hug and kissed the top of my head, "How did I get so lucky?"

I opened my mouth to speak but shut it instantly, reveling in the comfortable silence that surrounded us.

I didn't want this feeling to go away just yet.