Insanity Descent

Crumbling...

All I said was one thing.

Now I'm watching the world crumble around me, on all six sides.

Four walls that no longer exist, a ceiling that rained down in terrifying rage, a floor that cracks under each step and forms ravines so I can fall to my death.

I'm going to die here, eventually.

All I said was one thing.

I did it because I wanted to get out of our toxic habits of stealing too much free time from each other. I couldn't handle constantly apologizing and feeling guilty just because I left my computer to eat or use the bathroom.

Now she won't speak to me.

How did things end up like this? It didn't used to be so... unstable. I can't stand to watch my entire world fall to pieces right before my very eyes because I said the wrong thing while trying to save my relationship with her...

Doesn't she understand it's not because I don't care about her? Does she think I'm mad at her? I don't understand why she has to lash out and isolate herself so I can't understand her point of view... I just want us to be happy around each other...

Why does this have to be so difficult? Why does it feel like I'm walking on eggshells around her?

I want to help her... but she keeps pushing me away.

It makes me wonder if she hates me... or if she's manipulating me by always making herself a victim... but if it's genuine that's the most insulting thing to hear. I've already screwed it up in the past when I was confident she was lying about self-harm when she wasn't...

I don't know what to do anymore...