Insanity Descent

I hate bipolar

★Ah yes, I love feeling like shit but still having enough energy that you know you're probably gonna do something you'll regret~!♪★

Oh wait that's the thing I don't like, I forgot.

For some reason sometimes fully transitioning from mania to depression takes a few weeks and I'll basically have a mini mixed episode and other times it happens overnight. I've been having that transition period for a while and I'm just trying to keep it together.

I've already mentioned that I'm suicidal and depressed but everyone just goes "O h... omg I'm sorry do u need a hug ;-; idk what to do" so I stopped.

Now I keep getting mad at literally nothing and I keep yelling at my friends which is making them hate me even more~♥

And all I have left are

✧･ﾟ: *✧Sparkles and kawaii shit~!✧･ﾟ: *✧

So even though I feel like crap I'm putting cute emojis or whatever all over the place to try and make myself feel better but since I know it's a facade I only feel worse but I don't wanna go through another episode of depression cuz I hate them but I know I can't just casually opt out of it, no matter what I do it's gonna happen and that hurts so bad to know even the best efforts would fall short.

♥♡∞:｡.｡So I'm just tryna vibe with the kawaii｡.｡:∞♡♥

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✧･ﾟ: *✧Here's a fact:✧･ﾟ: *✧

❀✿＊I still feel fucking depressed and I still wanna kill myself! Now it's just in sparkles!＊✿❀

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I've been sitting here for about... a week or two now and I'm really starting to lose my grip. I'm doing my best to keep living normally but I just feel so terrible inside and I've unintentionally lashed out at others.

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✧･ﾟ: *✧Oh my, how terrible~!✧･ﾟ: *✧

｡o°✥✤✣Hopefully I learn how to get my fucking ass in gear soon~!✣✤✥°o｡

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★♥♪That's all I wanted to say today~♪♥★

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