Spoby One Shots

20 • Don't Cry, Daddy

The last 3 months had been the worst time in Toby Cavanaugh's whole life.

The love of his life, Spencer, had passed away from a brain tumour she was diagnosed with too late to treat.

The pain Toby felt was indescribable, nothing in life felt the same anymore. Everything was hard, even small things like going to the grocery store or watching a movie suddenly seemed impossible.

Then there was Rose to deal with. Rose was Spencer and Toby's 5 year old daughter. She hadn't been planned, Spencer and Toby were young when they found out Spencer was pregnant but they didn't even consider not keeping her. Spencer was in her final year of law school and Toby's salary was enough to keep them financially stable until she finished and got a job. When Rose was born they couldn't believe it. She was perfect, their very own little angel. It was clear hat she was going to look a lot more like Spencer than she was Toby, with little tufts of brown hair and huge chocolate brown eyes. The couple were infatuated with her.

So, for 4 years and a half years, everything was as good as it could be. Not perfect, of course, life was never going to be perfect. The couple needed to work around long hours and stressful jobs, plus raising a child was never going to be a piece of cake but they were happy. When Rose was about to turn 1 they moved from their little apartment to a modest 3 bedroom house. When she was 2 Spencer and Toby got married and everything just felt right.

Toby remembered Spencer saying to him as they lay in bed one night "I feel cautiously optimistic." Toby laughed. "Why?" Everything is amazing." he said, pulling her so her head lay on his bare chest.

"Exactly." Spencer replied yawning, "It feels too good to be true, like we're at the top of a rollercoaster and it's all going to come crashing down." she finished sleepily.

"I don't think so." Toby said "I just think we got really lucky to find each other. This is just the beginning of our forever." he said, stroking her hair. He expected Spencer to reply but when he looked down at her, she was already fast asleep.

As always, Spencer was right. It was a year and a half later when she was diagnosed. She hadn't been feeling well for a while and put it down to being stressed at work. But soon she found she always had a headache, often felt sick and kept forgetting things she never normally would, like where she put her keys or what she'd eaten for dinner the night before. She went to the doctor soon after she noticed her memory getting worse and that's when she was told. Stage 4 brain tumour. Growing at a quick rate, couldn't be cured or treated and she had around 4 months left to live.

And just like that. Everything changed.

Toby's heart was utterly broken but he wanted to stay strong for Spencer, he wanted to make the last months of her life were the happiest they could possibly be. And he did.

The day after they got the news, he went downstairs and presented Spencer with a paper and pen, telling her to write out a Bucket List: a list of things she wanted to do before she died.

Some were easy, like teaching Toby how to make flan. Some were more difficult, like going to Paris to see the Eiffel Tower at night, a task which seemed basically impossible given her condition. But Toby managed to tick every single one off, including the one he was doubtful would happen: "See our baby girl turn 5."

2 days after Rose's 5th birthday, Spencer passed away in her sleep.

After that, the whole house felt heavy, the air felt like it was suffocating, the house felt like sadness.

Rose didn't understand. She constantly asked for her mom and didn't understand why every time she did, her dad's eyes filled with tears.

A month after Spencer had gone Toby sat Rose down and tried to explain, as well as he could to a 5 year old, why her mom wasn't coming back. That was the only time Rose cried.