Blown Apart

22

Beca POV

After getting the phone call from Chloe I immediately got out of bed and got dressed. I felt bad for snapping at Chloe. I was tired and it was early in the morning. I hadn't, neither of us had had much sleep since this all beginning. How could we sleep when our kids were in so much pain. Having Bronte in such a bad place and neither of us were there wasn't right. God I couldn't imagine how Bronte was feeling. To wake up and so soon to be back to going into surgeries and under sedation, but be so hard. I couldn't begin to feel how scared she was. Her life had changed so dramatically since and she didn't even know the half of it.

I made my way down the stairs, walking quietly past Cody's room. Making sure not to wake him because truth be told Chloe and I weren't the only two with little sleep. And Cody and Brynlee must be feeling the same pain we were but in their own way. Chloe always went on about the bond between siblings being special and as much as ours argue they love each other more. I go to the kitchen and make myself a coffee or two while waiting for Chloe's parents to come. I switch on the TV and immediately turn in off when it shows a news report from the school. It showed the school all blocked off and under construction and a news reporter standing out front. I didn't hear what was said as I turned it off as quick as it came on. I blink trying to stop the tears from falling as I hear the doorbell ring. I wipe down my eyes as I go to answer the door grabbing my bag and see Chloe's parents standing there.

"How are you holding up Beca dear?" Chloe's mom, Lucy asked, her ginger hair that had faded to grey was tired back in a low ponytail as she embraced me into a hug. I took a second to relax into it. It always took me by surprise by the open display of affection from parents, my own being still not people that enjoyed showing outward emotion. I enjoyed being held for a moment before stepping back and letting Lucy and her husband James into the house.

"It's been tough on all of us. Sorry we didn't get you here sooner. I just need to get to Bronte now." I said not wanting to be rude but wanting to be at the hospital as soon as possible, while a long drive still ahead before getting there.

"Chloe said the same thing. But we are here now. And don't you think we are going anywhere for awhile. But you get going we plan to head up to the hospital later anyway once the kids are up and dressed." James said slightly more passive aggressive about not getting to see the grandkids in so long then Lucy was showing.

"Thanks again for coming. Come up for lunch that would be good being able to eat something other than hospital food. I will pay you back when you get there." I say leaving them in the house that didn't seem like a home anymore.

I get in the car and start driving thinking about last night. The eerie silence that echoed through the house. It was never this quiet. No one talked forever as we all just stared at what this house has become. The silence was broken when Brynlee had reluctantly asked for help with getting dressed as she couldn't do it on her own, as well as helping her cover her cast while she went in the bath. I saw the blush on her face as I had to help her change and get ready for the bath and wash her hair. I felt bad for snapping at her but it wasn't much time for communication. She wasn't willing to talk to make it more awkward for her. I told her that I had seen her thousands of times when she was younger and that for the time being she would have to get used to us helping her. She eventually was too tired to object. As gross as it was to think about, none of us had really showered probably or changed more than once since we sat in hospital and I saw the please look in her eye as she felt clean clothes hit her and the longing I felt to change my clothes as well. I hadn't heard from Cody, after leaving Brynlee he went to bed I heard his shower running but that was about it. I headed straight into my room and fell asleep in my empty bed. I reached out where Chloe would normally sleep. Where we would hug close together for the rest for a peaceful night sleep. The sleep was anything but peaceful. But I hugged the pillow that still smelled like Chloe.

But now driving the long 90 minutes journey to the hospital at 3 in the morning, I'd never felt so alone. I had managed to let my short temper get the best of me multiple times. I suddenly felt the guilt of snapping at Chloe. The guilt of not being there with Bronte. Snapping at Brynlee. Yelling at my wife multiple times for things I could have done as well but I was scared. For not letting my family come and see how my kids were doing. Ignoring texts and replying with standard answers. I pull over the car as I break down crying. I can't stop for long I know. I have to get to Bronte, my wife. And when I get there, I call my friends and family. Tell them to come and see my children, be there not because they are going to get in the way. But to support me and Chloe from trying to do everything ourselves.

I shake off and start the car again. By now I think of all the tests Bronte has gone through already this morning. How she may already be in surgery. When Bronte had woken up yesterday she wasn't the same girl and I knew that instantly. Chloe had talked to the others about how she was good and hopeful and I know she was in the room a lot longer than I was. But I had looked into her eyes, and I saw the instant pain she kept within. She was never one to show a lot of emotion which she had picked up from me. She wasn't one that necessarily would hug people straight away. But knew that we were going to be a different girl than everyone was used to. Like the doctors had chipped bits of her personality away when they were operating on her brain. I try to think more positively about the fact that maybe that's just because she had just woken up. She wasn't fully sure what was going on, I tried to focus on traveling as fast as I can to the hospital to make sure I'm wrong. And that our baby girl is fighting and will be just as cheerful as she was before.