Chapter 16

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You woke up in Tommy's bed, but didn't remember getting there in the first place. You just wanted to be home, or at your sisters place, as you couldn't bare to look at Tommy after last night. Tommy laid next to you, sleeping peacefully, and you noticed you were naked underneath the covers as was he. Okay so apparently you had birthday sex but unfortunately couldn't remember a thing. The baby now crossed your mind as you hoped nothing you did hurt it. You tried getting up but Tommy spooned you, wrapping his arms strongly around you. It felt nice, and for the first time in forever he actually slept in with you. In that moment, nothing else mattered and you tried to enjoy it while it lasted, or until Tommy woke up. You knew he cared about you deeply but sometimes, when you needed it the most, he just couldn't express it properly. He still smelled of his musky perfume from last night mixed with your vanilla one you bought ages ago but hadn't had the opportunity to wear.

„Morning beautiful." Tommy said in a raspy voice, interrupting your train of thought. You didn't say anything but just turned to face his sleepy eyes trying to look at you.

„Morning love." The words made Tommy smile and kiss your forehead. He then turned to the end table, grabbed his silver cigarette box and took one cigarette out. He sat up and lit the cigarette, filling the air with smoke. You got up and looked for your dress around the room, but couldn't find it which made Tommy giggle.

„What?" you said, now walking around butt naked.

„You mean you don't remember?" Tommy said, now admiring your body as you searched. The words hit you. 'Oh I do remember Tommy.' Apparently you couldn't drink away the sight of Tommy talking on the phone with Grace as your expression turned to a frown.

„Where is my dress?" you said harshly, making Tommy raise an eyebrow.

„You chucked all over the dress last night so I put it in the bathroom." Tommy said, concerned at your tone of voice.

„Great." You said, visibly annoyed.

„Come here." Tommy gestured for you to come into his arms. „What's wrong?"

You put on his coat to cover up and refused to come near him as you knew he would somehow make you forget what you wanted to say, and this had to be said.

„Tommy. If you don't want me... Or the baby, just say. I won't be your second choice. I refuse to keep pretending everything is okay, when you still love her. And I know I am not her..." you said in a stern tone, but trying to keep the tears away. The fact Tommy didn't ask who you were talking about gave you the affirmation you needed that he is still in love with Grace.

„And she loves you too since no married woman in love with her husband would call you like she did last night if she had no feelings for you." You continued, tears now falling uncontrollably, but you wiped them off quickly, looking at him for a response or reaction. For the first time you saw Tommy completely speechless.

„(Y/N)... I..." Tommy reached for your hand but you didn't hear from him the words you wanted to hear.

„Tommy. I am your friend. I will always be your friend. And I love you more than you could ever imagine..." You turned to Tommy caressing his cheek, your eyes filled with tears for the words that were about to leave your mouth hurt so much you could feel your heart break then and there. „But I can't do this anymore." He put his hand over yours on his cheek but you tugged away as you located your shoes in the corner of the room and put them on in a haste.

Tommy grabbed your wrists before you could turn away from him, and said faintly: „Please, (Y/N). Don't go... I love you. I want you. I want the baby." His baby blue eyes looked at every inch of your face, knowing it might be the last time he sees you in this room, like this, with him. Without a word you tugged away from his grasp and left. You could hear him following you out on the street, yelling your name, but as you started running he couldn't keep up. The tears were blurring your sight as you ran without direction, just to get as far away from Tommy as possible. You thought about going to your sister's but knew Arthur would be there, so instead you ran to John's house, in hopes he would comfort you. He always knew how to make you feel better. You knocked on the door, only to hear Esme shouting 'who is it?'.

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