DREAM - Tommy Shelby imagine [COMPLETED]

Chapter 13

Last night felt like a dream but as you turned around, you could see Tommy peacefully sleeping beside you, his arm still around your waist, which brought a big smile to your face. You knew he had trouble sleeping and were happy he could finally relax a bit, and with no other than yourself. Tommy said he loved you, a sentence you were sure you wouldn't hear from him for some time as he seldom let people in and told his true feelings. Or were you dreaming? Soon enough you had questioned yourself whether Tommy did say those three little words or you dreamed of it because you wanted it to be true. The thought made you frown a bit and get out of bed, trying not to wake up Tommy, but as you attempted to squirm out of his grip, he pulled you closer to him.
„Were you trying to escape?“ Tommy said in a raspy voice, his eyes still closed but a smile formed in the corner of his lips. You couldn't help but smile at the sight and nestled into his chest, now facing him. You loved the way he smelled, a musky smell mixed with cigarette smoke, and you took a deep breath in closing your eyes.
„Good morning, love.“ Tommy said giving you a kiss on your forehead and continued after clearing his throat: „Feeling better?“
You just nodded, and even though he still didn't open his eyes, he felt the nodd on his chest. You trailed your fingers on his chest, tracing circles on his tattoo he got in the war. He soon realized what you were doing and looked at your hand while taking it in his and intertwined his fingers with yours. Your attention was now on his rough hands as you stroked his thumb with yours, noticing a golden ring on his pinky finger.
„What's on your mind?“ Tommy asked as he saw you drifting away to your thoughts.
„Oh, nothing. Just taking this in.“ You said quietly, looking up at Tommy with a sweet smile. You cuddled and kissed a bit before getting out of bed and going downstairs to make breakfast. You then spent the early morning together as Tommy soon had to go. He told you to take a day off since you weren't feeling the best yet.
Later that day you went to the grocery store to buy some food for lunch in hopes of not throwing it up, and as you were walking the streets, a familiar voice could be heard slightly yelling your name. You turned around in a haste to see John jogging towards you.
„(Y/N)! I need to speak to you.“ John said, making the distance between you smaller as he leaned in closer to you, holding your upper arm. You were confused as to what this could possibly be about, since you two haven't spoken in months. He guided you to an alley, out of sight of other people where you now stood with your back on the wall and John's arm spread out, leaning his hand on the bricks next to your head.
„Is it true? Is Polly right?“ John asked, not making eye contact, the question instantly making you sweat and stutter.
„A-about what?“ you tried to ignore the fact you knew exactly what he was talking about.
„(Y/N), are you pregnant?“ John asked, taking his toothpick from his lips and looking at you straight in the eyes.
„I—I just -“ you couldn't finish your train of thought, but the stuttering was enough for John to realize it was true as he backed away, now facing away from you. You didn't think this would affect him as much as it did as you came in front of him, pulling his face towards your gaze to get him to look at you while you talk.
„John, I loved you. I will always have a special piece of my heart reserved for you. But as you got married I had to move on, and yes, I know he's your brother, but he makes me happy. I know he's not the best man, but I...“ You said, still holding John's face in your now cold hands as John put his hands on top of yours to warm them up.
„You know I still love you, (Y/N)? As I saw you again the other day in the office, I couldn't stop thinking about you. And after I realized you were pregnant, and Polly confirmed it I couldn't help but wonder how it would be like if that was my child inside of you.“ John said, leaned in and kissed you, to what you backed away quickly.
„John, no...“ you said, crossing your hands in front of your chest.
„I'm sorry, (Y/N)...“ John said, trying to come closer to you, to which you backed away again. You could see the hurt and sadness in his eyes, as yours were the same. You hastly wiped away the tears trying to escape the edges of your eyes. You could now see with the corner of your eye a silhouette of a woman and as you turned towards her you realized it was Esme. She looked at John with anger before directing her stare at you, and was coming towards you speeding up with every step she took. John quickly stepped in front of you, holding his wife by the shoulders so she couldn't hurt you.
„Sneaking about with her?! I should've known.“ Esme shouted at John as she broke out of his restraints and pointed a finger at you. You stood in complete surprise from this interaction and leaned with your back to the wall of the alley, trying to disappear into the bricks. Esme ran out of the alley, with John shouting her name and running after her, leaving you in shock. You took a few deep breaths of the cold air and wiped away the tears before walking back to your house, not in the mood for any other interaction today.

As you came home you couldn't help but wonder how John felt about Tommy and you. It was making you sick, the thought he still loved you and how he tried to kiss you, but a part of you wanted it too. And then your thoughts shifted to Tommy. Esme will surely say something, and the last thing you wanted was for Tommy and John to be on bad terms because of you. You needed to process this so you went out again, this time to the Garrison, for a glass of whiskey you oh so needed but shouldn't have. As you walked in you saw your sister with Arthur.
„Oi lady!“ Arthur shouted with a smile and signaled with his hand for you to sit next to them.
„Hi sis! What have you been up to?“ Sarah said, caressing your shoulder and pulling you in for a hug. She could tell something was bothering you as she frowned and lifted your chin up to see your face better.
„Oh, nothing much…“ you replied, not wanting to say anything in front of Arthur.
„Arthur, go get us a bottle of wine.“ Sarah said, looking at him sweetly as he took the hint and left the table.
„So what's really wrong?“ Sarah asked, grasping your hand.
„It's everything… Tommy… and John… and the baby…“ you muttered out, letting a single tear drop to the table from your cheek.
„Oh baby girl, what happened? What about John?“ Sarah asked, wiping away the tears on your cheeks with her thumb.
„He… he said he loves me still. And I couldn't help but wonder whether this baby would be his if we stayed together… if Tommy didn't fuck it up… and he kissed me in front of Esme… I don't know how I feel about everything.“ You said to Sarah looking at her hand in yours and playing with her golden ring on her index finger.
Sarah said nothing except whispered a faint 'don't cry' in your ear as she squeezed you tight while hugging you as if the tightness of her hug would piece you back together.
„I guess I actually know what I feel… I feel guilty. It's all because of me.“ You said to Sarah as you broke the hug.
„(Y/N), don't you ever say that. And you have nothing to feel guilty about. If you love Tommy and you know loves you too there isn't anything to feel guilty about. You deserve to be happy after everything!“ Sarah practically shouted at you but realized she was being too loud in the middle of the Garrison so she turned the volume down.
She instantly made you feel good as she said those words. You thought to yourself 'yes, I DO deserve to be happy'. And you did love Tommy. You knew what you had to do: go to Tommy before Esme does to explain the situation no matter how painful it may be. You said goodbye to Sarah, waved to Arthur leaned on the bar, and got up in a haste to walk over to Tommy's house.
As you came in front of his house, the cold made you pace in place as you still decided whether to knock or not. You turned around to walk away but heard the door open, and Tommy standing putting his cap on his head.
„(Y/N)?“ Tommy asked after putting on his leather gloves. It made you turn around and look at him with your arms crossed in front of you.
„Oh, Tommy, just wanted to talk to you but I see you are busy so --“ Tommy cut you off before you could turn around again and walk away.
„Come inside.“
You walked inside with Tommy's hand on the small of your back, guiding you into the dining room and pulling out a chair for you to sit down. You took your coat off, your cheeks now a bright red from the difference in temperature as the fireplace was still burning. You put your hands hear the fire to heat them up and Tommy hanged your coat.
„Look Tommy… John kissed me today… just thought you should hear it from me…“ you said not able to look him in the face but still holding his hands. His grip became loose as he let go of your hands and got up. You looked at him as he was visibly irritated by what you said.
„Tommy, I'm sorry it didn't mean anything to me!“ you now got up and placed your hands around his waist as an attempt to hug him from behind, but he didn't say or do anything.
You backed away from him, waiting for him to say something to make you feel better.
„I love you Thomas. If it means anything to you, I love you with every piece of my heart. And despite what everyone says I know you are a good man and will be a good father.“ You covered your mouth upon realizing the last part slipped out. Tommy finally turned around and looked shocked and confused. He didn't know what to do or say so he just placed his hands in yours.
„What?“ Tommy asked, confused. Your palms were sweaty as you didn't know how Tommy would react to you being pregnant.
„I'm pregnant Thomas. It's your baby… We are having a baby.“ You said to Tommy looking at his eyes as he looked at you in disbelief.
„This… what?... baby…“ Tommy managed to mutter out before giving a faint smile and kissing you passionately while lifting you up to spin you around. The action made you smile and feel relieved as he wasn't dissapointed or angry. In fact he seemed happy. Truly happy. He then proceeded to put his hand on your belly, caressing it gently and speaking something in Romani to the baby. He went to get champagne from the kitchen to celebrate.
You walked over to sit down on a chair only to notice a bunch of letters and one in particular caught your eye as it had a few stamps on it. It was sent from America.