My Soul Belongs to AkaRen/Renkaza

us in 𝓭𝓮𝓬𝓮𝓶𝓫𝓮𝓻 #1

I paused in my tracks, as I breathe out, a white mist forms before my eyes, I clench my fists in my coat's pockets, mustering warmth to overcome the sharp pain of my fingers. I stood under the gray, clouded sky, missing the warmth of the summer. I heard a young couple stepping out of the apartment building that was on the side of the sidewalk that I had planted my feet on. I wiggled my toes, it's numb inside my soaked shoes, winter sucked, but there was something about it that changes the feeling of visiting the coffee shop that I've often visited, the street where the Christmas market was held, the songs and the lights, the Christmas tree-

I looked across the road, a car drifts by, droplets of water swirled in the air, dissipating to reveal the vivid lights from the row of shop buildings. I stared ahead into the shop's glass window, there was a family, a father and a mother smiling over two young children, who skipped and laughed as they gazed at the crystal snowballs placed across the display shelves, adorned by the lights to enhance the details of the sculptures in the snowballs.

The winter, it makes me want to return to the past, it makes me want to restore something I might've never experienced, it feels like I've forgotten something, a snowy day... a scent, a song, a person I miss, even when I might've never met them.

It's nostalgia, perhaps, of a missing piece of memory. Red, yellow, golden lights, shining through snowflakes. The scent of a bitter coffee, the shuffling of the crowd by my side, the echo of Christmas songs through speakers, a voice that was placed so close to my ear.

Was his whisper ever there?

I don't know.

I've lost something, something important. Yet, I couldn't remember.

A flicker of white caught my attention as I turned my head towards the sky.

It flutters down, scattering around me.

Snow.

At the instant that a snowflake was blown away with a breath of my exhale, it flashes across my mind, a dim figure, a person that glowed in the gray winter.

I remember now.

It's snowy, and it's bright with colorful lights, there's a song that I don't recognize playing in the background. That day, we walked down the sidewalk outside of my favorite coffee shop.

Your name... Your name... Your voice, your smile-

I opened my phone, and scrolled through my contacts.

It's our first meeting. That day, we stood in front of the Christmas tree, the crowd swarmed by our side, and you held my hand as we swayed playfully to the cheesy Christmas songs in the plaza.
That late night of walking side by side, how I had been so conscious of my every movement, my feelings, and how had my heart fall out of rhythm with a brush of your finger against mine, a bump of our shoulders, and your laugh that makes me forget how to breathe.

Even in happiness, I was reminded of the sadness of this world.

People come, people leave.

And I was too afraid that it'll happen too quick someday.

People change, people die.

And I'll have so many things I wasn't able to tell you.

But you remind me, when you stood there, sprinkled in snowflakes.

You're beautiful.

Passionate like the color of the ornaments, melodious like the ringing of the bells, elegant like the lights that were gentle on our eyes, glowing, chiming.

You told me you'll always be here.

Even when your eyes twinkled at the colorful lights of the markets, even when you looked up at the Christmas tree, with my hand in yours - you're still the brightest star in my eyes.

You told me, at least we're here.

I find myself standing in the middle of a snow-covered path, my heart paced in my chest, pumping warmth throughout my body to make up for the missing heat of someone.

I walked down the sidewalk, glancing back once more before I turn a corner.

Will you turn the corner at the same moment when I turn?

I'll miss you. Have I missed you? A hundred, thousand times?

Every time I make a corner, have I missed your figure? The person that I have been searching for in my whole life?

What if, at this very moment, I turn away only for you to walk down that street?

Shall I wait till the end of time?

I smiled to myself and turned my back. The beeping from my phone reverberated in my ear, and I waited for you to pick up my call.

No, you haven't come home, yet, have you?

The world was so big, and I was only so small. As another day goes, I cross paths with strangers that I'll never know as a passerby in their world. As another season passes, I'll forget another piece of memory. As time progresses, I'll be forgotten.

People come, people leave. People change, people die.

But you remind me.

Kyoujurou reminds me.

"ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ꜱᴛᴀʏ, ᴛᴏᴏ."

The other end of the line clicked, and I heard your voice.

"Hey! How are you-"

How did you look like? How did you sound like?

The never-ending ripples come to rest, your voice rings next to my ear, but I see you on the other end of the sidewalk.

Your gaze was as clear as the crystal snowballs, shining, flickering, and I almost saw that night when it had snowed.

You held your phone to your ear, and I had lowered mine.

Like that afternoon, I chase after you, but this time, you're running towards me, too.

I was reminded, warmth is still here, as your arms wrapped around me, you laughed, and it made my heart race.

You still glowed, my color in the winter.

It's December again, huh?