My Soul Belongs to AkaRen/Renkaza

us in 𝓭𝓮𝓬𝓮𝓶𝓫𝓮𝓻 #2

The winter barely had any colors, clouds dusked over the sun, the boring days blend together, I dreamt through the day, thought through the night. That afternoon, I was in the coffee shop that I always visited, which I still visit even now. "Good evening," you said to me, vivid and bright, even your surroundings turned colorful, you looked like an illusion, the cup that you took from my fingers, your hand looked like it glowed, leaving glitter of colors that lingered on my fingers, my freezing fingers turned warm, flushing, reminding of the blood in my body, my beating heart in my chest.

I stood there, frozen, you were in my view, delicate and detailed, I want more of that feeling, the lightness of my body and a skip of my heart. My eyes chase after your figure, as if you had painted the ground where you had traveled, your traces glowed. Even your surroundings turned colorful, the booth you sat at, it almost looked like it was perfect for you.

Table number two, you sat there, the wine red colored cushion complimented your golden locks, you raised your head, your gaze darted towards my direction, at each of your movements, your hair and your lips, you looked like a masterpiece, carved out into perfection. Your eyes, your vibrant eyes looked into my own, even with the distance between us, the twinkling in your eyes made my body shudder, I try to grasp at the remaining heat, clenching my fingers that you had touched. You are right here, reflected in my eyes, how wonderful, that I could keep a shadow of your smile. My face burns, and I felt my heartbeat quickening, knocking against my ribs, as if it was trying to reach you.

It felt like forever, it seemed like a flash, when you were out of my view, a feeling of loss washes over me. You stepped out into the snow, your boots sank into the crystal beneath, how everything became clearer and brighter once you've touched them. The glass door closes behind you, it fogs up, leaving only a dim golden lining of your shadow. I didn't think twice before my body moved on its own, my eyes, my legs, my heart, it's pulling me towards you, taunting me to find the only sun in my gray winter.

The cold of the winter enters my lungs, the frost crunches under my feet, even when the breeze pricks at my eyes, they still search for you, I followed your footprints, at least, it looked like yours. Was it a hunch? Perhaps. Then, I saw you, walking down the sidewalk, with a cup of coffee in hand.

My hand landed on your shoulder, my fingers graze lightly against your hair, you turned your head, a flush of heat rushes through me, it almost felt like you moved the heavy clouds of the winter in an instant, a mist of cloud escapes your glossy lips, and it brings me back to where we stood, in this winter accompanied by Christmas lights and songs. "How can I help you?" You said, and I wanted to remember your voice, the vibrations in your tone, the sincerity of your words, it rings in my ears and reverberates within me.

My heart grows impatient, nervousness runs through me. I laughed and scratched my head, looking down at my own beverage, I took a pack of sugar and handed it to you. "I got another pack of sugar for you," I said, and you smiled at me, cocking a brow with amusement, but you took it from my fingers nonetheless. "Thanks?" You said to me, I could've stopped there, but I blurted out, "'Cause I think you're pretty sweet." You laughed, it's short, but it sparked a flame in my chest. "You gotta try harder, that's not gonna be enough to win a girl over," you swirled around, and I think I caught a glimpse of your knuckles tightening around your drink, my heart drops for a second, but I caught you again, as if something was boiling within me, bubbling with excitement. "I don't want no girl," I told you, and you huffed with hints of laughter. "What do you want?" You asked me, and my mind ran wild with thought, the thoughts were hazy, but I saw flashes of a blue sky and greenfield, and I saw the city that was bathed in the morning sunlight beyond my window, saw the summer, saw the winter, autumn, and spring.
I saw you, in all of them.

You turned your head, and I snapped out of the bits of my daydream. "You!" I called, and you froze, only half-facing me, you snickered, "What?" Somehow, I had enough courage to say it again, "I want, uh, some of your time." You stayed quiet, seconds pass by, but instead of trailing down the path, you faced me. Your gaze was unreadable, I stared back, your warm irises, almond-shaped eyes, your nose and cheeks that were flushed from the cold, I found myself wanting to embrace you, ah, how warm it would be.

"Okay," you shrugged, the corner of your lips shaping a soft smile. I grinned and walked up to you, I passed my coffee into my left hand and held out my other hand to you, "I'm Akaza, nice to meet you." You took my hand, and shook it lightly, "Rengoku Kyoujurou, nice to meet you too." I smiled, our hands part, I looked down at my palm, it's red, it's more vibrant on my skin tone that was much paler than yours. "Beautiful name," I said to you, and you grinned, "Thanks." Stepping slightly to your right, I filled the space that was next to you, and we walked down the sidewalk together.

That afternoon, both of your hands cupped at your awfully sweet coffee, while mine was much more bitter. We strolled, and stopped at a street, a Christmas market, stalls were opened and stood on the sides of the road, the chattering of the people became louder, people drifted towards different directions, as the speakers played festive songs over their heads. You stared admiringly, and I watched you, I saw the colors being reflected in your eyes, it must've looked beautiful to you.

For me, I was content to see you, the brightest of them all, you who stood by my side, you who beamed at me when I told you we could take a look at the market. We looked at Christmas decorations, laughed at socks and ugly sweaters, we drooled over food and ate snacks together, we chatted, and we laughed, we were comfortable with each other, and we sync like best friends. We walked until our legs were sore, and when we found a bench to rest at, your attention was caught again by the Christmas tree in the plaza, you grabbed my hand, and pulled me towards the tree in front of the mall.

Christmas tree. Surrounded by red, yellow lights, ornaments hung from the trimmed branches, present boxes were piled up underneath, families and couples were taking photos, children ran around the plaza and blew bubbles that floated to the sky, the crowd's noise had drowned out the music. My hand, it's warm, you were holding onto it, each second that our skin makes contact, my heart quickens, I squeezed your hand hesitantly, you meet my eyes, and you laughed, you took both of my hands, and swayed gently to the beat of the music.
One time, two times, I blinked, you're still glowing.

"Follow me," you said, before I could react, you put your left leg out to your side, and I followed by putting out my right leg, you took another step back to our positions, slowly, our movements became smoother and easier. Swinging, laughing, in just our own little moment, forgetting what was around us, I saw you as my world.
Late night, the streetlights illuminated the sidewalk, the city falls asleep, while the two of us traveled under the sky, barely dotted by a few stars. I walked you back to your apartment, and I asked, shall we go out on a date someday?

You smiled, but, you looked sad.

You told me you won't be here for very long.

But you told me too, that you'd return to this city again.

You gave me your number, precious digits saved into my phone.

I told you, it's okay, I'd wait. And I was used to partings and goodbyes.

You shook your head. And you embraced me.

You leaned in, and whispered.

Your lips brush against my skin, so subtle that I couldn't figure out your intention.

Your body leaves mine, and you waved me goodbye.

I drew in a breath, and looked up to the sky, it's snowing.

Your words were quiet, only enough for me to hear, I engrave your words into my heart, even if it was fragile like the carving of words in the snow that will dissolve when the sun shines.

"People stay, too."

You're the sun. So if you were here with me, I wouldn't need a reminder at all.

I know, someday, you'll stay.

It's not now.

But it's soon.

And I was willing to wait for the next December.

I'm not so used to goodbyes, after all.