My Soul Belongs to AkaRen/Renkaza

don't follow me, you'll end up in my arms

Trigger Warning

Mentions of depression and implied suicidal thoughts

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The neon sign was lit up, its buzzing interrupted by a crackle, rain patters onto the road, magenta light was reflected in puddles, splashed up as a passerby stepped into it. Raindrops dribbled down the canopy of a shop, claimed by darkness once the lights were turned off, streetlights were dim by the sidewalk under the clouded sky, noises drowned out by the gentle pour from above. People walked out of the bar, their figures disappearing to where the golden lamps of the bar couldn't reach, Akaza sat at the counter, downing another drink, shuffling in his jacket, shivers run down his back from the cold, while alcohol swims uncomfortably in his stomach. Sleepiness was making his eyelids droop, this night feels just as terrible as all the other nights.

Numb, numb and miserable, it doesn't feel real, nothing feels real, he wasn't sure if he was even awake, drifting in and out of consciousness, the sounds of clinking glass grew loud then silent, the noises in his head started to whisper to him, overlapping with the chattering of the few that was left in the bar, his arm where scars were buried begins to tingle. He raised his head and drew in a breath, the urge to suffocate himself sprouts a little bigger within him, he squinted his eyes at the flashing lights as a jarring headache creeps in.

He sighed, his elbows were on the surface of the counter, one hand propping his forehead as he lowered his eyes to avoid the brightness. Someone drops onto the barstool next to him, ordering an orange juice (seriously, juice? Just go to a convenience store or something) in a hushed tone, he gazes at the person out of the corner of his eye, and a fond surprise spreads in his chest, the man next to him had golden locks, red burned into the tips of his hair, he found himself captivated by the aura that the other male gave off, he raises his head and stares at his side profile, and found his heart skipping a beat and his head going light. Light dances in the background, the images were blurry, but damn, he's charming.

A soft, natural smile tugged at the corner of the man's lips, he was dressed in a coat, peach-colored, tan? A red turtleneck sweater peeks out of the collar of the coat, warm, so warm and gentle on his eyes. Talking in a soothing, friendly voice to the bartender, muttering thanks and asking how was the guy's day, does someone that cares so much about a stranger really exists? Right in front of his eyes? Akaza felt himself sway in his seat, suddenly, a hand grabs him by the wrist, the inertia woke him up slightly, as he realizes he was about to topple off the stool. "Sorry," he muttered an apology, as much as he could manage with his breath caught in his throat, the blond next to him beamed a smile and released his wrist. Akaza settled in his seat once more, his face burned, he clenched his fingers nervously, and he was wide awake, it's been too long since he felt this good kind of nervousness pumping his heart.

He swallowed his heart that leaped at his chest and looked around the bar once more, all that's left was the faint music that played over the speakers, lamps still on and shining above them, his gaze found the man next to him once more, he blinked as his vision cleared, it was a rather, foreign feeling, he wanted to hide away, yet he wanted to stare at this stranger that was capable of making him feel. He hadn't been able to feel for so long-

The blond turns his head, and Akaza felt a sudden pang of his heart against his ribs, he dragged his hoodie over his head to hide his face as he curled up into a ball as best as he could, his pulse raced in his ears while laughter rang next to him, the same hand that caught his wrist was patting at his back, it felt so comforting, he felt everything in him dissolve into bliss, he turns his head and met the man's eyes, orange irises stares back at his own, the corner of his eyes narrowing in a hint of a smile.