Outlet To Heartbreak // Sope

18

That same night, Jimin came back to the dorms— a crying mess. He felt utterly guilty once he sobered up after Hoseok left him. He wasn't aware of his actions while the kiss happened but even if he wasn't, he was a shitty friend for what he did in his drunken state.

Yoongi was already home by that time, hiding his own puffy eyes through the dimness of the room. The blonde looked scared, hands shaking after closing the door behind him.

"Y-Yoonie." Jimin's voice cracked, trying it's best to keep his composure. "I-I did s-something bad t-to you. I'm s-sorry, Yoonie. I-I—"

"I saw." The older told him, looking down at his own hands. "I know."

That only made the blonde cry harder, sobs racking up his whole body.

Yoongi sighed. He hated the sight of his best friend in tears. "Come here, Jimin."

Jimin hated when the mint head called him by his real name but he knew the other had every right to be upset. Slipping off his shoes, he crawled on the older's bed, obediently sitting in his lap.

His little body trembled in Yoongi's arms, clearly letting guilt consume him. The younger's tiny hands clutched the fabric of his best friend's sweater, crying against his chest.

"I-I'm s-sorry. D-don't h-hate me, I'm s-sorry. P-please, Y-Yoonie." Jimin apologized over and over again. He regretted going to the bar and drinking. All he wanted was to forget his own problems for one night but it only seemed to add more.

"Shh, I'm not mad at you." Yoongi whispered, running his fingers through the younger's hair in an attempt to comfort. "You were drunk and you still are. We'll talk about this once you're sober."

Jimin shakily nodded.

What was the mint head supposed to do? End his friendship? Jimin was the closest to family he had left. He couldn't afford to lose his little brother over some stupid feelings.

All he could do was silently cry while his best friend slowly fell asleep on his chest.

2 Weeks Later

Yoongi and Jimin never did talk about it after that night.

Things were still a little awkward between them but not as bad as they thought it would've been. The older could see how concerned his best friend was— especially when he suddenly decided to change his hair color from mint to blonde. Jimin questioned him of it but he never gave a firm reasoning.

That's how the younger knew that something was wrong. Yoongi wouldn't just change his hair without a reason— he loved his mint hair. He wouldn't have gotten rid of it so easily.

Nonetheless, the change had already been done.

Yoongi walked out of his class, completely drained. He didn't expect to hear a familiar voice calling him.

"Yoongi!" Someone grasped his arm, the newly blonde immediately shrugging their hand off in a harsh manner.

He had been avoiding Hoseok for the past two weeks and made sure the brunet knew of it. Yoongi blocked his contact— he didn't even have to break up with him face to face, it was already implied that their relationship was over.

Though he didn't think the younger would actually wait outside of his class.

"Bub, please. Listen—"

"No, shut the fuck up." Yoongi hissed, keeping a firm distance between the brunet and himself. "You listen."

Hoseok stayed quiet, the other's cold tone stinging his heart.

"I told you from the very start that people only used me to get to my friend." The blonde reminded him, a distasteful glare pointed at the brunet. "But what did you do? You did exactly that. You had the chance to be a decent fucking person by sparing me— stopping your selfish plans— but you didn't and that's on you, Hoseok."

Tears prickled his eyes but there were too many things he had to say. He pushing himself to continue. "I was afraid you'd end up seeing me the way I see myself but I-I guess you never even saw me the way I thought you saw me.

"I-I finally thought someone saw me as more than just Jimin's best friend. Stupid, right?" He bitterly laughed through his tears.

His bottom lip wobbled on its own. "J-just— why? Why'd you hug me? Kiss me? W-why would you make me feel like I was even an option?" His voice cracked near the end.

Bypassers were given a front row seat to Yoongi's vulnerability. They weren't close enough to hear what he was saying but they could clearly see his tear-struck face and his hand tightly clenching his bag strap.

Hoseok didn't say anything, keeping his eyes on the ground. He wanted to say something— give his reasoning— but he didn't want to interrupt the older. He knew Yoongi needed to let his emotions out.

"I-I wish you would've seen the stupid smile I had whenever you texted me, the way I melted just from being in close proximity of you, the way I actually starting fucking thinking I was worth something because I thought someone finally noticed me. I thought 'Wow, Yoongs. Maybe you'll actually end up finding love after all.'

"Well I did find love. It was one-sided." At this point, Yoongi was mostly talking to himself, sharing his thoughts without caring if the younger was actually listening or not. It felt good to vocalize his feelings— relieving.

"No one knows me as Yoongi." The blonde whispered almost inaudibly, exhaustion laced in his voice. "Everyone sees me as Jimin's best friend and I'm used to it— but... but just because I'm used to it, doesn't mean it doesn't get tiring."

Hoseok felt his heart break at the sight of the older looking absolutely defeated.

"Yoongi—"

"No. No... I don't wanna hear it. I'm going, don't try talking to me again." Yoongi masked his words with anger. He didn't want the brunet to notice the hurt and devastation he truly felt just from hearing his voice.

Yoongi left without another word.

=

>:)