Peter Parker Oneshots

Kiddie Avengers (request)

I sewed a dress yesterday! It's pretty. It's got butterflies on it. The only thing better would be if I owned Marvel.

This was a request by Booklover_forlife08 I hope you enjoy!!

Warnings: Bad language in front of children. cute children versions of most of the Avengers, dad Tony.

Tony would love to explain to the poor SHIELD agents exactly how he got into this situation, but his hands were a little full with the 11 five years olds that he now had to take care of. He got out a vague mumble of "bad guys—Magic—babies," before he had to yell at Peter for trying to crawl on the ceiling.

Long story short: Clint, Natasha, Peter, Thor, Loki, Steve, Bucky, Sam, Rhodey, Wanda, and Bruce got turned into five year olds but still retained all of their powers.So, between a hyperactive spider-child, a baby hulk that got angry over the weirdest and most inconsequential things, two god-toddlers, one bully-hating super-soldier kid and one with a metal arm, a magic midget, and two spy siblings, Tony was a bit overwhelmed. That wasn't even including Rhodey and Sam who, while not having any 'powers', were fully equipped with miniature versions of their gadgets and suits.

"Okay. Stop!" Tony yelled. The room full of kindergarten-aged heroes immediately quieted.

"Oh. Alright." Tony mumbled, then raised his voice to address all the kids again. "I need everyone to find a seat—on the floor, Peter—and sit quietly while I get us a snack."

Tony made sure the kids were following his orders before asking FRIDAY to keep an eye on them and heading to the kitchen to grab a couple boxes of pop-tarts and fruit snacks. When he came back in, Peter was hanging upside down off the back of his chair, and Clint was poking a very annoyed Natasha.

"Peter. Sit up straight. And Clint, stop poking Natasha." Tony placed the snacks on the table, waiting for the kids to all be sitting quietly and calmly.

"Okay. Everyone can have one Poptart and two fruit snacks." Tony passed the snacks out to each child, some receiving them more enthusiastically than others. Natasha tried to decline, but Tony had planned for that and gave her the choice to get a different snack instead. She decided on an apple that Tony cut up for her.

Coulson walked in and glanced over the mostly calm children. (That excluded Peter—who was bouncing on a couch—and Thor—who was trying to get Loki to share his Poptart.)

"Wow, Stark." Agent whistled. "Didn't know you had it in you."

Tony glared at the man. "I can only handle this for so long. You will figure out how to get them back, and I won't throw them off the tower. It's a lot easier to do when they are half my size." Tony threatened.

Coulson's lips twitched in amusement. "Sorry, Stark. I have it on good authority that it'll wear off in a week, and there is nothing we can do until then."

Tony cursed softly under his breath.

"Mr. Tony?" Steve asked politely, having the enhanced hearing necessary to pick up what Tony had said. "What does shit mean?"

Tony panicked. "Umm...it's a very bad word that I shouldn't have said, and you should never say it either."

Steve nodded.

"Shit!" Peter yelled happily from the ceiling.

Coulson laughed and left.

———

"It's a really cool game, and I came up with it, and can you please play it with me?" Rhodey gabe Tony his best puppy eyes. Tony glanced over the other children, making sure none of them were in any immediate mortal danger before agreeing.