Breathe Again [MEDICAL MYSTERY #1]

CHAPTER 11: Hallucination

Trigger warning: 

This chapter may trigger psychotic episodes specifically auditory and visual hallucination. 

Please read at your own risk.

_______________________________________

TODAY'S Monday, first day ng mid-term examination namin. Pathology and Obstetrics ang exam namin ngayon, a combo killer.

I roamed my eyes inside the classroom, some are having their lone time studying, some are studying outside the room while waiting for the doctor, some are in cluster while reviewing each other, and my eyes fixed on a one certain group. Nakapaikot ang upuan nila, nagtatawanan habang nire-review ang isa't-isa.

I used to sit with them during exams and I'm the one reviewing them, but now, I'm all alone. I stared at them and it hurts me knowing they're happy even without me.

Naiintindihan ko ang galit ni Gretta, pero bakit maski ang iba naming kaibigan ay nagagalit sa'kin? Maski sila ay hindi ako pinapansin.

I sighed and buried my head on the desk. I did not even bother to scan my reviewer dahil wala namang pumapasok sa utak ko. The whole weekend I tried to review but I fail.

When the examination started, hirap na hirap akong maka-focus dahil paulit-ulit na nagre-replay sa utak ko ang pag-iwan sa'min ni Daddy, at ang pag-iwan sa'kin ni Gretta sa park. I hate this feeling, I hate how these emotions are getting control of my mind and body.

I've been reading same question for minutes already but I can't grasp the thought of the question.

H.M., 80 years old, male, has a known case of severe peripheral vascular disease, came with a chief complaint of severe abdominal pain of several hours in duration, with no other associated symptoms. Patient claimed that there was no history of trauma. Laboratory studies show creatinine kinase of 275 IU/L and CKMB of 3ng/mL. What is the most likely source of the elevated creatinine kinase activity?

Hanggang sa natapos ang exam na hindi ako sigurado sa mga sagot ko.

I saw my friends outside the room and they're discussing their answers which is our usual routine every after exam. I tried to reach for them but they just looked at me and left, except for Sarrah.

She looked at me apologetically. "Sorry, Angel." She held my upper arm and pinched it, then she also left.

Ganun na lang ba 'yon? They're just gonna throw away our friendship without hearing my side? I don't want to feel bad about it because I don't want to view this as competition, but I didn't realize that they're capable of losing me just to be with Gretta.

I never thought that I'm the least favorite in our group.

"Looks like someone's a loner." I heard Maui's voice behind me.

"Wala ka ng friends?" panggagatong ni Giselle.

Hindi ko siya pinansin. Instead I just walked again away from them though I know they're following me.

"Iniwan ka na ng friends mo? Oh well, kaiwan-iwan ka naman talaga."

My chest felt heavy as I realized that she's right. People are leaving me because I am not worthy of their time, that I'm less of a person for them, that I'm insignificant.

Instead to line up in the elevator with them, I choose to take the stairs even if we're on 10th floor. I continued walking downstairs absentmindedly. There are students going downstairs as well laughing, telling stories, discussing answers, but I do not care at all.