Breathe Again [MEDICAL MYSTERY #1]

CHAPTER 17: Evil

A/N: 

This is prolly one of the most disturbing chapters for this story (or even most disturbing chapter I've ever written) so please I want you to read this at your own risk. 

Trigger warning: this chapter has auditory hallucination and rape content. It may trigger psychotic episodes, traumatic episodes, and suicidal ideation. 

Do not read this alone if you have the tendency, and please stop if you're not felling well already. Kahit ako nahirapang isulat ito. You'll still get the flow of the story I assure you. 

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PUMUNTA ko sa condo ni Azriel at dire-diretsong pumasok sa loob. Bahagya pa siyang nagtaka nang nakita ako.

"Angel," nakangiti niyang bati habang papalapit sa'kin. "What are you doing here? I thought you want to go home first?"

Last day na ng Finals ngayon. We planned to go out later dinnertime, susunduin na lang niya ko sa bahay. But I had a change of heart for I have to do something. Instead na umuwi ako ay dito ako dumiretso sa condo niya.

"Azriel..." I unbuttoned my uniform one by one.

"What are you doing?"

I contined while looking straight into his eyes.

"Angel..."

Nang natanggal ko na ang lahat ng butones ay huhubarin ko na sana ito pero agad siyang nakalapit sa'kin para pigilan ako. Hinawakan niya ang uniform ko at muling isinuot sa'kin. "We talked about this already, Angel. Hindi na natin uulitin ang mga ginawa natin noon. Nakalimutan mo na ba?"

"I remembered everything, Azriel." I placed my palm on the softness of his cheek. "Naaalala ko rin ang sinabi mo sa'kin noon, you want to do it with me only if I'm sober and stable."

Bumaba ang tingin ko sa dibdib niya, bumaba rin ang kamay ko papunta sa butones ng uniform niya at isa-isa ring tinanggal iyon.

"Angel..." Hinawakan niya ang dalawang kamay ko.

I looked at him again. "I'm ready, Azriel. I'm ready for this. I won't give my frist time to anyone, sa'yo lang."

Binawi ko ang kamay ko at muling tinanggal ang uniform ko hanggang nahulog na ito sa sahig. Nang tatanggalin ko na ang panloob ko ay pinigilan na naman niya ko.

"You don't have to do this."

"Aren't you happy? I'm willing to give my virginity to you, Azriel. Nakakalimutan mo na ba? I'm still Angel Divine St. Hilaire. Every man's fantasy, every woman's envy. Aren't you proud na ikaw ang makakauna sa'kin?"

"Angel!" kumunot ang noo niya at lumalim ang bawat paghinga niya. "Ganyan ba kababa ang tingin mo sa'kin? Do you think katawan mo lang habol ko sa'yo? Na gusto ko lang makaisa sa'yo?"

He scoffed. "I may be all fucked up in the head, but I ain't a monster. I'm aware of everyone's impression about me, but those were just impression. I was raised right, Angel. Pinalaki akong 'wag ituring na reward o trophy ang babae. I failed as Jane's boyfriend, I admit that. But I still have a heart."

He looked at me, now with tears forming on his eyes. "I made a lot of mistakes, pero hindi ako masamang tao, Angel." At tuluyan nang bumagsak ang luha niya na mabilis niya ring pinahid.

"I'm sorry," tanging nasabi ko.

Bumigat ang pakiramdam ko nang makita ko siyang ganito kahina sa harapan ko, I felt guilty. Alam ko ang nangyari sa kanila ni Jane dahil sa nabasa ko sa diary niya. At alam ko...alam kong nagkamali lang si Azriel pero hindi siya masamang tao.