Undeniably Fated

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Hurt, sadness and agony are the things I’m feeling right at the moment. I know I brought this upon myself, but this is all I can do for my mate. I want him to be happy and if being with Sarah will make him happy, let it be.

I know you are all thinking that I’m a coward, maybe even a fool, don’t worry I won’t deny it. I always say that I’m doing this for my mate, Xander, but to tell you the truth deep inside I was partly doing this for me. I’m afraid that Xander would just reject me if I tell him who I really am in his life.

This pain and suffering that I am feeling right now is bearable but I don’t think that I can bear the hurt of rejection directly coming from my mate. And at least if I continue this I can see him anytime I want to but if he rejects me, I know we cannot even be friends anymore.

Tears wanted to escape my eyes all morning and I know that I was spacing out in all my classes. Maxine would always get me out of my trance asking me if I’m ok. I actually felt guilty for making her worry. So I made up an excuse that I can’t understand what our teacher was saying ‘cause obviously I was gone all week so I really can’t catch up on what our teacher was saying. A smile of understanding was her answer to me and she offered me her notes to bring home tonight so I can study it and so I can participate in class.

“Finally!” I was startled at Maxine’s high pitched voice again. Getting out of my own little world I heard the fading sound of the school bell. Oh time for lunch I guess. “Come on Sam, I’m hungry.”

“You’re always hungry Max.” I retorted back while putting my notebook and pen inside my backpack. Which I didn’t use anyway, oh well I wrote Xander’s name a couple of times, I hope Max didn’t see me doing that.

Getting my bag, Max and I started to head outside our classroom and I guess we’re going straight to the cafeteria. I’m not actually hungry. I’m stressed and all I can think of is Xander and up until when I can continue this foolish plan of me.

“Dean! I miss you honey.” Maxine launched herself to Dean, who was waiting outside of our room, giving him a tight hug.

“Miss you too honey.” Dean said and gave Max a quick peck on her lips. Ok, get a room guys. Sheeeesh.

“The two of you just been away for a couple of hours. And you see each other for almost every day you know.” I rolled my eyes at the two of them in amusement.

“When you find your mate you’ll understand.” Oh yes I clearly understand Max, since the day I saw Xander’s wolf, he’s always on my mind, he’s the only one I can think of.

The pain on my chest was back as I think about him again, thinking that we will never have what Max and Dean share. I know my eyes were red, tears trying to escape again but thankfully the two lovebirds were looking at each other lovingly.

“There you are guys.” Macky announce himself by draping his arms around my shoulders which I slowly got rid of. He’s been touchy since maybe last week and it really makes me uncomfortable.

“Hi.” Maxine said as Dean just nods his head in acknowledgement at Macky. “So let’s go? I’m starving.” Maxine pulled Dean’s hand as we walk our way to the school’s cafeteria; she was always excited for what’s the menu for the day.

“Do you want me to carry your bag?” Macky asked who was walking beside me.

“No, I can perfectly carry it by myself.” I said in a very clear voice, I’m tired of people thinking that I’m not ok, first Mom then my friends earlier and then now Macky.