no words

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there's no words that come out of my mouth. i scream thoughts in my head & i just want to burst them out. i want the world to know. i want myself to know & my family. but i could never bring myself to say the words. how can i look into their eyes and tell them how much i don't want to be alive. how do i sit there and let them feel the pain i'm reflecting? how do i tell them everything and make them feel guilty? how do i show them my scars when i'm scared of them myself? there's no words. no words that can come out of my mouth. but my mind constantly spits them out, like a debate conference. i want them to understand how much pain i'm really in, but at the same time i want no one to know. i just don't have the right words.

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