The Hermit Journals - Hermitcraft

The Crystal King - Cub and Scar

In the desert stands a pyramid larger- and significantly more expensive- than anything the world has ever seen. Reigning over his one-man-kingdom with an iron- er- diamond fist, Cub is the one and only pharaoh. His words are law, though there is a certain resident that makes life more than a little difficult. 

Cub had just finished burying the crystals he'd bought from a certain jungle wizard a while back deep beneath the sandy ground. He brushed his hands off on his white robes out of instinct, which immediately made him cuss under his breath. Not only did he bury a full chest of crystals a hundred feet underground, but he'd have to wash his robes. 

He took a few paces forward, but a strange crackling sound brought him back to reality. The frustrated pharaoh whipped around to see a tiny blue glimmer in the sand. He rubbed his eyes. 

This was not happening. 

Ignoring it, he kept moving forth. The cracks continued with every step he took, but he tuned it out. He'd be back in the pyramid soon enough, safe from all the weird "jungle magic" that seemed to follow him wherever he went.

An even louder crack echoed around the empty desert, making Cub turn around in annoyance. There were four massive crystal growths poking out of the sand, almost teasing him. 

"You little bastards..." he muttered, storming to the crystals and pulling out his glowing diamond sword. 

As he reached the crystals, a flash of light nearly blinded him. He rubbed his eyes even harder, opening them to see none other than the jungle wizard Scar himself. 

"How did I get here?" Scar mumbled to himself, admiring his robes. 

"You're behind this?" Cub screeched. 

"What? No, I mean- I gave you the crystals, but I didn't think they'd do... this."

Scar looked up at the megalith of crystal. A sharp headache pierced Cub's skull, but Scar seemed unaffected.

"Are those slippers magical or something?" he asked the wizard, motioning to the pink bunny shoes on his feet. 

Scar picked up his feet, smiling at their cute little faces, and shrugged.

"I am the wizard here."

"Okay, well, can you help me out here? Last time I touched them, they threw me back into an alternate universe!"

Scar looked around awkwardly.

"You see... I don't really know how to help you."

"What do you mean? You just said you're the wizard!" Cub cried desperately. 

"That doesn't mean I have any clue what I'm doing," Scar explained, "but I can call you the Crystal King!"

Cub grimaced. 

"It's pharaoh... now, if you're not going to help, you can go right along into Xibalba!"

Pursing his lips and putting his hands together, the jungle wizard disappeared with another flash of light, leaving his slippers behind. Cub sighed and made his way back to the pyramid. 

As he walked, the sound of moving sound caught his ear. At first, his only thought was "oh no, not again," but when he turned around, he saw the crystals were sinking down under the ground with Scar's pink slippers. 

A small smile stretched across the pharaoh's face. The sun was setting, and he still needed to wash his sand-covered robes. 

Shame, I liked the sound of the Crystal King, Cub thought.