The Hermit Journals - Hermitcraft

Throat Full of Glass - Evil Xisuma

TW: Panic attacks, anxiety, death, etc

This is my first real songfic, so let me know what you think!

Song: Throat Full of Glass // Combichrist

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EX's POV

Beyond cruel will, receive the comfort in a broken heart...

The void ripped through my skin with its awful cold. 

Now pattern shapes an image of true life.

The hole in the bedrock was filled in an instant, leaving me alone beneath the world.

Alone, surrounded by a million faces...

I felt their stares. The souls of every single person I'd ever hurt, staring back at me. 

One by one, I see the judgment in their eyes.

I keeled over on my knees, unsure which direction I was facing. 

Like a disease, I'm always in the wrong...

Their voices screamed my name, shouting every insult they could throw at me. 

And now the numbness wearing off, can't stand the pain.

I could finally feel the piercing blades that made up the air in the void. 

I get in line, I always do...

I begged for forgiveness. Not a single soul would even look my way.

Need to be patient while perfecting death's design. 

Anger boiled inside of me. Only one word repeated itself over and over. 

I cannot help it, can't decline, it's always better down the line, I'm in the wrong and I've done it all before...

Xisuma. 

And I wish I'd never been, and I know it's just a dream, now I'm blind I can open my eyes.

My blasted brother sent me to this hell, one without an up or down, or any light to show me the way. I began to scream.

"Can't stay awake, burning alive, I cannot breathe this poison air filled with lies..." 

Tears formed in my eyes as I hummed a melody to go with it.

"I cannot see what's done to me, live in fear, the sun is falling from the sky!"

Nothing left to break, my life is in a thousand pieces, million reasons...

The void was relentless. I knew my body was intact, and yet it felt torn apart. 

Why should I keep myself away?

The things I'd done in the past were horrible, yes, but I couldn't see how I deserved this place.

Hard to define, it always is...

Where I even was I couldn't tell. 

It's hard to scream with your throat full of glass.