The Hermit Journals - Hermitcraft

Alright - Xisuma x Keralis

Song: Secrets by OneRepublic
TW: Self-Harm

Xisuma held Keralis' head tenderly in his lap, running his fingers through his boyfriend's silky hair. It'd been a long day of work, and as the sun set beneath the horizon, he didn't want to be anywhere else. His violet eyes locked with Keralis' round ones lovingly. 

"You're so pretty, Shashwammy," Keralis cooed, placing a hand on Xisuma's face. 

Keralis was the only person the admin ever took his armor off around. His body was covered in endless scars, some from injuries, and some self-inflicted, but he promised to never tell Keralis that. The heartbreak on Keralis' face when he saw him digging his long nails into his skin made his emotions cry out, and since then, his boyfriend had made sure that his nails were kept short. 

The world seemed to despise him since the admin had split his soul in two. He became perfect, without any anger or rage, without any morbid curiosity. Xisuma was left as someone controlled, happy, and full of love. 

But sometimes, this left his soul vulnerable, and when the two sides of his soul came into contact, he became overtaken by his dark side, and after it left, paranoia flowed through his veins until he went back into the cycle of clawing at his skin until it bled. 

"Shashwammy?"

Xisuma's eyes were dull and blank, his head lolling lazily on his neck. Keralis leapt up, holding his boyfriend's head in his hands. He stared deep into X's soul, shaking him gently to try and bring him back.

But he didn't come back. 

Tears formed in the builder's eyes as he attempted again and again to bring his boyfriend back. 

"Shashwammy, come on! Come back, beautiful, Shashwammy, oh, I love you so much, I'm here," he pleaded, unable to hold back his sobs. 

He'd dealt with this before. He knew what would happen if he didn't shake his beloved Xisuma back to reality... but he was too late. 

As the light returned to the admin's eyes, they pulsed with a red glow. His mouth opened shakily, his canine teeth lengthening and stretching to a point. Keralis stepped back.

"No, my love... come back..." 

His voice was weak and pained. 

"Oh, Keralis, how lovely it is to see you..." Xisuma growled.

"No, you can't trick me again! I know it's you... I know..."

Xisuma chuckled, stepping closer to Keralis and running a hand gently down his cheek. 

"Then say my name."

Keralis shook his head desperately, repeating the same mantra over and over until he was almost convinced it were true. 

It's okay, he's still there, you can bring him back...

"N- no!"

"Fucking say it, Keralis! Who is it?" Xisuma demanded, his hair growing white streaks. If someone didn't know about Xisuma's curse, they wouldn't have even thought anything was any different.

Keralis slumped down, holding his arms over his head. He shook as if atop an earthquake.

"Ev- Evil Xisuma. You're EX. You're EX..." he cried, his tears becoming ugly and rough. 

"Very good, you remember. And you know I'll be staying for a while."

Keralis became void of emotion in that moment, clinging onto that memory with his beloved Xisuma. The love of his life... everything wonderful in his world. 

Xisuma gasped, his face becoming pale. Through the red, he could see a beacon of violet light forcing itself through. 

Shashwammy?

"Ke- Keralis... Leave me, I don't want you to get hurt, he's stronger than I am-" he managed to say in a hollow voice. 

His breaths were haunting. 

"No, I'm not going to leave you, love, my beautiful, my Shashwammy," Keralis said, laughing in disbelief, "look at you, look how strong you are, just stay with me, okay?"

"I don't know how long I can stay like this, so please just go and be safe, and I'll find you when he's gone..."

Keralis shook his head, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend. He wasn't going to let his Shashwammy go, not again. 

As he tightened his arms around Xisuma, he felt the admin's body go limp. Xisuma exhaled, a black smoke escaping from his gently parted lips. Keralis smiled, wiping a tear from his eyes. 

"Let's get you inside, love, you need your rest."

Xisuma was mostly silent, too weak to speak. Still, he let himself say four words before completely succumbing to unconsciousness. 

"I love you, Keralis," he mumbled.

"And I love you too, my pretty Shashwammy," Keralis replied, "and I'm going to make sure you're alright."