Never Be

Chapter 15

"Okay... Yeah, I don't think that's gonna work... She doesn't go for that sort of stuff... Yeah but what can I do? Can't she just stay like that...? Okay fine I'll try convince her..." Ashton got off the phone.

"Oh dear that didn't sound good. They hated me didn't they? They want me to go back to Australia don't they?" I say feeling a panic attack coming on.

"Calm down, Madison, you'll be okay..." Calum embraces me into a hug and my head rests on his chest. He was slowly rocking forwards and backwards to make me feel protected, which by the way, works 100%.

"What? No. They loved you..." Ashton trailed taking me away from Calum's warm body. I swat his hand off my shoulder and turned to face him.

"But..." I trailed making him have to go on. I rose an eyebrow and stared at him. I've just realized, we're standing in the middle of Chinese restaurants surrounded by Chinese people who are staring at us like we are aliens.

"They want you to change your image..." He muttered.

"WHAT?!" All of us (except from Ashton) said all at once. I couldn't change my image. Who I am is who I am they can't just tell me to change what I look like.

"What do you mean change my image?" I choke out.

"Like change the way you dress because apparently you look too boyish ..." Ashton said. He didn't really look like he cared. I wonder if he ever did care, or if it was all just a lie.

"And why is that?" I say.

"Because you're supposed to come off sophisticated and all that shiz." Ashton answered.

"Yeah because you four are sophisticated." I say sarcastly. My voice flat.

"I'm sorry, Madison, but sometimes things don't go the way you want them to." Ashton raised his voice. This was actually scaring me. Genuinely scaring me. I gulped back the giant lump in my throat and soon felt tears welling up in my eyes. This is great. I thought. This is just great.

"Hey take it easy dude..." Calum put a hand on Ashton's shoulder.

"Just give her a break, man." Michael jumps in.

I turn around and run to the nearest place which was alone. (A/n this next part that I'm gonna describe/talk about is a real place. Like I'm not making it up. I've been there)

I ended up sitting in a church yard in Covent Garden. It was in the middle of the place and there weren't many people there. There are a couple of benches and flower bushes organized into patterns. The sun barely comes in so its darkish here.

There's an old couple sitting on one of the benches on the far end and they're feeding the pigeons.

I sit on the bench in the middle and hug my knees to my chest. I tuck my head Into my knees and think. I seem to think a lot on this trip and also I seem to cry, which is never good.

Ashton used to stand up for me every time someone bullied me or tried to do something. But now, he wouldn't even say anything. He would watch.

He used to play with me and make an effort to learn how to play FIFA just because no one would play with me.

"Hey, Madison..." A low voice said. A hand was put on my shoulder making me jump a little. Something like electricity shot through me, I just let it pass since I didn't know what it was.

"Luke?" I ask unsure.

"Yeah..." He whispers laughing a bit. I stop hugging my knees and throw myself to him, crying on his chest. I probably made his shirt wet. "Hey, hey, you'll be okay." Luke rubbed my back hugging me tightly which I really liked. "You know, I really wasn't expecting you to say my name today..." He laughed changing the subjects for my sake.

"What do you mean?" I say ribbing my eyes and sitting up, still resting on Luke's shoulder. "I promised didn't I?" I say.

"Yeah, but... I would've kept the secret even if you didn't promise that." Luke chuckled at himself. "Truth is, I'm a loser. I'm not half as good as the other guys."

"What?! Luke don't say that!" I say hitting his chest playfully.

"No, Madison, its true. When I was at school, I used to be the outcast. I had no friends before Calum and Michael. I used to hang out alone in the music room, strumming on my guitar." Luke laughed. "I wouldn't be anything without this band..."

"Luke, please stop. You can't actually be telling me this. Please tell me you're joking..." I say seriously.

"Its not a joke Madison. I am a joke." He looked down at his lap.

"No, Luke, you're a dork. That's what you are, and awkward dork." I say.

"Gee thanks, Madi that's helping." He chuckled sarcastically.

"You know what makes you special though?" I ask he shakes his head. "You're my awkward dork. I don't care if people think you're a joke or whatever, all you have to remember is that you are my Awkward Dork. And I love my Awkward Dork okay?"