Never Be

.Chapter 18

Well that escalated quickly... I mean, seriously though, one minute I'm cuddling with Calum and the other I black out completely for more than 2 hours.

"Mom! Listen to me, does this happen often?" Ashton's voice comes up. He's probably talking on the phone. I only hear things, my eyes are way too heavy to be opened so all I can see is black.

Someone's holding my hand.... It feels wet, don't ask why, maybe one of the boys put it in a cup to check if the whole peeing in your sleep rumor thing was real, but strangely its not a cup that's holding my hand... It can't be Ashton, his voice is far, definitely not next to me. Its either Michael, Calum or Luke... Wow, yeah, thanks, Madison, that really helped... -_-

"Since Jason?! That bastard!" Ashton says again. I suddently jump up and start to cry again at the mention of him. I look around completely lost and I finally see the person who's been holding my hand.

Luke.

His eyes were puffy and cheeks were tearstained and red. Why was he crying? This must've happened like twice this month. It's not like I was gonna die. Plus, he doesn't even know me... I dunno... I've never really seen a boy cry before...

Luke looks at me, and since I'm still crying, he hugs me tightly. I don't hug back. There's something that now scares me. Oh yeah, the fact that he looks A LOT like the boyfriend who left five scars on my body, just because I broke up with him because he cheated on me. I don't know, but, Jason, links a lot to Luke. Blonde hair, blue eyes, perfect little pointy nose... Okay, so the nose thing is what Jason didn't have... He had a huge potato nose instead.

My eyes keep giving out pointless tears. I think its one of the side effects of the panic attack. I have some sort of trauma now, like right now. My head is buzzing and I can barely breathe since my nose is stuffed. I hate crying. Especially in front of people.

Luke continues to hug me and cries harder than before. How does someone cry so much. And why is everyone crying? I mean seriously, I am so pointless to the world someone could just smack me and no one would even care. No one has ever cried over me, I don't understand why Luke (or any of the other boys, if they're crying) should. This is actually really annoying. I don't like people crying, especially over a silly (okay it wasn't silly since it is very actually scary, but ya know...) Panic attack.

It only happened because I remembered some things caused by Ashton pressuring me/shouting at me. I mean if anyone should be crying it's Ashton, cos he caused this. And, plus, he's my brother, he should care more than the other guys.

Then I realize, when people cry, it means they care about something (in this case me). Meaning, Luke cares about me. And he cares that much because he looks like he's been here holding my hand and crying for hours. What is this supposed to mean?

Jason was only dating me because of a dare. That was the only reason. And when I found out we were 2 months into the relationship. He told me this it was just before he abused me. Jason  abused me, but because I wasnt good enough for him and I got away from him, he decided to beat me. I had chairs smashed on my back (the first two scars), a beer bottle thrown at my ribs (my other two scars) and he used the glass which broke from the beer bottle to cut my shoulder (my last scar). I guess you could say, that's why Ashton doesn't want me to date anyone until I'm 100. Because he doesn't want anything like that to happen to me again.

But what I don't understand is why he's so worried about his mates doing something like that to me. I mean, if you think your band mates are gonna go all Jason on your sister then why are you friends with them? I don't understand...

"Madison are you okay?" Luke sobs pulling away from me and looking straight onto my eyes. I stop crying and answer his question.

"Yes." I smile. He smiles widely taking the cloudiness out of his eyes which cheered me up so much. He is so beautiful when he's happy. Luke kisses me on the cheek which takes me completely off guard.

But instead of backing away, he stayed with his head close to my cheek, but he was looking at me. He looked from my eyes to my lips and I did the same and his head moved from the side of my cheek to in front of my face. Our eyes locked until he looks at my lips quickly and back at my eyes. I nod slowly once and he leaned in.

My heart started pounding harshly as his breath touches my lips. Siddently his warm, soft pink lips connect with mine and the cold of his metal lip ring sent a shiver down my back. Our lips moved in sink, even if it was only a short while before Luke pulled away, but stayed close.

"Aw..." I frown. He chuckles lightly.

"I wasn't supposed to do that... Its forbidden for us to even be close." Luke shook his head and looked down at his hands and back at me. "I'm sorry, that was stupid of me..." He looks away.

"Okay, Lucas Robert Hemmings. Listen to me." I turn his head back to face me. "I haven't kissed many people, but that was by far the best kiss I ever experienced." I say.

After that, Luke just leaned in and the whole process started again. We didn't make out, cos let's be honest that's disgusting, but we had a really special kiss which sent little electricity shots down my back. Until...

"What the hell is happening here?!?"