Never Be

Chapter 12

Sitting alone in my room. I had nothing to do. Luke was somewhere being a Luke, Michael was taking a nap and I still wasn't talking to Ashton.

"Luke!" I whisper-shout.

"Michael!" I try again. Why I'm I even trying with Michael you need dynamite to wake him up.

The walk in the park was fun. I thought about things like if the Emma thing was gonna work, then I texted Emma to make sure she was alright and she texted me selfies of her at the M&M's World in Leicester Square, at the Apple Store in Covent Garden and the Disney Store in Covent Garden. She says she's waiting for me to have lunch. I'd have to find an excuse to leave the guys after the interview.

I then thought about Mom and Warwick (my step dad) (a/n yeah that's actually his name) and Lauren and Harry. They were on their own. Looking for a house. Ashton said he was helping, but that went down the drain. Ashton said he was always there for us, but then again, now he's famous. He's rich. Fame might've gotten to his head. This is not the Ashton I remember. The one that kept his promises, the one that never lied to me or never kept things from me. But he's long gone.

"Oh my gawd, GUYS THE INTERVIEW'S IN AN HOUR!" I scream.

"What?!" Luke comes out of nowhere while I put my coat on. Why does it have to be so damn cold?!

"Michael get the f*%k up!" I knee Mikey in the stomach and he grand and rolls to the ground.

*At the CAPITAL Studios*

We were lucky enough to get past the crouds of fans.

"Why is that girl with you?"

"Why the hell is she holding hands with Ashton?!"

"She's Madison Irwin! She's Ashton's sister!"

Yeah that was mostly what you could hear. And yeah Ash was holding my hand. I may be mad at him, but he makes me feel safe and secure. He's my brother, he's made for protecting me.

As we get through an other crowd of people and this time, Ashton puts his arm around my shoulder and squeezes me close to him. I guess he saw me tense up.

"Its gonna be okay, alright?" He kisses the top of my head.

"Yeah..." I mutter under my breath, trying to convince myself that I was gonna be fine.

What if I say something wrong? What if I stutter too much? What if I say something they'll hate me for?

That's what was going through my mind.

Okay, breathe Madi. Focus on your breathing and nothing else. I think. I get panic and anxiety attacks at times, they're pretty scary. And well, I don't even know how to calm myself down.

*10 minutes later*

"So, Madison. You're new on the tour is that right?" The interviewer lady asks (a/n I don't remember the Capital Breakfast Show interviewer so her name will be "Lady" today)

"Uh yeah..." I smile trying not to say something wrong.

"But you do your own thing back in Australia. Ashton tells me you're a YouTuber?" She tries to make a statement, but turns it into more of a question.

"Yeah. I'm a gamer. I post videos on YouTube showing my tactics on how to skill players on FIFA or how to stay alive until the end of 5 Nights At Freddy's 2." I give some examples on what I do. But that's not really all. I do GTA, Call Of Duty, Assassin's Creed, Minecraft and all that shiz.

"You seem to have the same kind of interest as these boys then?" She says unsure. God, what is it with her and being unsure every time.

"Well, I guess, but Ashton isn't really the gamer type. Calum and Luke only play FIFA, so I guess I'm more like Michael out of all of them." I say. Hopefully that was a good enough answer...

"Ooh nice." She smiles. "So, I think you kind of knew I was gonna ask you this."

I gulp. "No actually I don't know what you're talking about..." I mumble stifling a little laugh.

"Okay. Apart from your brother," - oh no. I know what she's gonna ask - "who's your favorite out of the band?" She asks.

"Do I really have to do this?" I chuckle under my breath.

"Yes you do." She does the same thing. I look over at Luke since I promised him I would say his name when this question was asked. I shift my gaze back to the Lady and get myself together.

"It would have to be, Luke." I smile. I turn back to look at Luke and he looked gobsmacked. He covered up his confusion with a real, huge smile. His blue eyes wide and happy. The sparkle in those blue eyes makes me melt, and that dimple on his cheek make- wait, woah Madison, back up! Shut up and don't think about Luke!

"Ooh, is there anything going on between Ladison?" She wiggles her eyebrows.

"What the hell is Ladison?" I ask unsure.

"Its what you young people call a 'ship name'." She says trying to sound cool.

"Oh right, not really, we're just good friends that's all." I smile looking at him who still had a smile plastered across his face.