Never Be

Chapter 17

Hey guys! Sorry for not updating in AGES but I was just really busy. I'm 13 now! Yay! Okay, anyways thanks for 1.08K views! So, where were we? Oh yeah....

*Back at home* (flash backs in italics)

I don't know what's happening, but Ashton is getting worst and worst. Actually, I don't know how its happening since I didn't think it could get any worst.

Every time Luke and I (or any of the boys really) talk to each other he looks at me almost with a disappointed look. What the hell?

"Madison?" Calum asked, half asleep from the couch. I smile slightly at his laziness and walk to him.

"Yeah?" I chuckle. He put a hand on his eyes to shield them from the light coming in. Luke and I had a great time yesterday by the way. We went Starbucks and had a cupcake from the cake place (a/n by the way they shut that cupcake place. It was absolutely amazing, best cupcakes ever!) And yeah, it was pretty cool. Luke was really awkward at the till so I had to talk for him. We had a huge fight about who would pay and in the end he won cos I forgot my wallet. Oops...

"I need a cuddle." Cal said flatly. I laughed slightly at his childishness.

"Well, I don't wanna give you a cuddle." I teased trying to contain my laughter. Calum took his hand off his eyes and stared at me blankly. Michael started laughing while staring at the T.V playing Call Of Duty.

"Wut." He said blankly. Mikey and I burst out in laughter and literally started rolling around on the floor laughing our heads off. "Come on Madi! Please!" He moaned and made his cutest puppy-dog eyes and popped out his bottom lip pouting at me.

Michael and I got up off the floor and brushed off. I chuckled at what just happened and gave up on Calum. His reaction was pricesess, but his face right now is irresistible. "Fine, you little weirdo..." I giggled and laied down next to him.

Calum wrapped his arm around my upper body and I snuggled my head into his chest. "Score." Michael laughed. I kicked him in the hip, causing him to fall off the couch.

"Hey guys, have you seen my banda- what's happening here?!" Ashton came in and freaked.

"Madison and Calum are cuddling..." Michael wriggled his eyebrows. I jumped off Calum falling onto the floor and quickly standing up in front of my brother.

"H-hey Ash." I stuttered covering my... I guess you could say embarrassment....

"What was happening?" He asked straightly. I rolled my eyes. "Don't roll your eyes at me young lady!"

"Young lady? Young lady? Seriously? Ashton since we started this trip you've done nothing but be rude and strict to him. I agreed to this thing because I wanted to spend time with my brother, not because I wanted to be bossed around and be told what to do by you and your managers or whatever." I hiss. "If I knew you were gonna be like this I wouldn't have come. Calim and I are just friends, all we were doing was cuddling. Is that a crime, Ashton? Is it?!" Without getting an answer I ran out of there and ran up to my room, shutting the door harshly behind me.

My breaths were getting quicker than normal and my heart was racing fast. My eyesight became cloudy and blurry. Oh no. I'm having a panic attack. And since I'm having a panic attack, this is where the HORRIBLE flashbacks kick in. The Jason flashbacks.

"Jason, leave me alone!" I screamed backing away from the blonde and blue eyed guy in front of me.

"Oh, now little Madison is scared." He laughed. I was so scared I could barely breathe. I avoided eye contact, but he would keep making jokes about me.

"Just back away!" I cried. We used to have the perfect relationship until he cheated on me with the prettiest girl in school, Gabriella.

"There is no way of that happening." He laughs evilly. His deep voice booming through my head.

"NO! NO! MAKE IS STOP MAKE IT STOP!" I scream at the to of my lungs, my voice croaky. I hands were squeezing my head and my head was crouched down near my knees. I was rocking back and fourth until I fell off my bed. I hugged my knees to my chest and tucked my head in my knees. "STOP! NO! LEAVE ME ALONE!" I continue to cry. My throat hurting and burning like hell. The thoughts, the feelings, it all came back. My head is pounding and is suddenly too small for my brain. I can feel it pulling outwards, my hair pulling out of my scalp. My eyes were heavy and shut closed. My fists clenched and my body rocking back and fourth.

"Madison! What's wrong?!" Someone comes in. He has the same deep voice as Jason, and that's what scares me the most. He tutches me, but I shrug him away harshly. "Madi, its me, Luke!" He says worried. I'm still scared to look up at him. When he said his name all I could think was its not Luke, its Jason.

"What happened?!" Ashton rushed in as I continued to scream. He threw himself down at me, but I kept my head low.

"Madison!" Calum's and Michael's voices got closer. And now I'm getting frustrated since there are so many people around me.

Suddenly the room gets hotter, as hot as when you're in Australia during the summer and you have black jeans and a black top on. I feel the room spinning and everything around me getting quieter and my heartbeat and breathing getting louder.

My breaths are getting shaky and everything around me becomes a slow motion movie scene. I look up and all the images that I see split up into two exactly the same looking blurry objects. Luke's eyes are suddenly Jason's and everything else about him is Jason too.

"Madison?" A voice boomed through my head. The same voice that had thretend me and beat me. After a while, all I saw was darkness and I think I just sorta blacked out, I guess...