Homestuck! MsPARP Adventures!

i'm a sucker for math pick up lines

**i'm karkat**

carcinoGeneticist [CG] joined chat. ~~ 1 ~~

bad pick up lines!turntechGodhead [TG] joined chat. ~~ 2 ~~

CG: HEY STRIDER.

TG: hey karkat. is that a mirror in your pants cause i can see myself in them

CG: STOP RIGHT THERE.

CG: STOP RIGHT FUCKING THERE.

CG: THE MIRROR IS BROKEN.

TG: what

CG: I WILL CUT YOU WITH THE SHARDS.

TG: oh shit

TG: calm down

CG: YOUR PICK UP LINE GAME IS WEAK AND SO ARE YOU.

TG: oh is it?

CG: YES.

CG: IT IS.

TG: hey karkat, are you my appendix? cause i dont understand what you do but this feeling in my stomach makes me wanna take you out

CG: OH.

CG: OKAY THAT ONE WAS PRETTY GOOD.

TG: hell yeah

TG: so does that mean youll go on a date with me?

CG: BUT I MEAN, WHAT ABOUT, ARE YOU PROTON? BECAUSE MY GENITALS ARE GETTING POSITIVELY CHARGED.

CG: ARE YOU A*))

TG: alright that was pretty impressive. but how about, if i tolf you that you had an amazing body would you hold it against me?

CG: YEAH YEAH BUT THINK ABOUT THIS ONE, ON A SCALE OF ONE TO TEN YOU'RE A NINE AND I'M THE ONE YOU NEED.

CG: I WATCH A LOT OF ROMCOMS DAVE. YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO UP YOUR GAME.

TG: alright, no problem

TG: well i bet i can kiss you on the lips without touching you at all

CG: HUH?

TG: *kisses him and shrugs* welp i lost the bet

CG: *HIS EYES WIDEN AND HE SLAPS A HAND OVER HIS MOUTH* HOLY SHIT..

TG: *he smirks slightly* you said to up my game, so i did

CG: YEAH BUT I DIDN'T THINK YOU WOULD... YOU JUST... MY LIPS... AND YOU... UGH..

CG: *HE BLUSHES AND COVERS HIS FACE WITH HIS HANDS*

TG: heh. aw come on, dont cover that face *he pulls his hands away*

CG: *HE LOOKS TO THE SIDE* I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST DID THAT..

TG: *he shrugs again* you did say to up my game

CG: I MEANT UP YOUR PICK UP LINE GAME! LIKE, MY LOVE FOR YOU IS LIKE A CONCAVE UP FUNCTION BECAUSE IT IS ALWAYS INCREASING.. *HE LEANS UP BEFORE PECKING HIM ON THE LIPS AGAIN*

TG: *hey smiles and pulls him into another kiss, longer this time*

CG: *HE BITES HIS LIP HARD AND PULLS AWAY, GLARING* THAT'LL TEACH YOU TO USE THOSE FUCKING SHIT PICK UP LINES ON ME.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] disconnected.