Handsome, with average intelligence, with average status in life and talkative. These are the words that you can describe Josh.
We are in the same block in college. Everyone finds him handsome, but I don't. Some girls have a huge crush on him, but I don't. I don't want to adore him in whatever aspects because I find it akward and hard to freely do anything, assuming that he is looking at me.
Girls are like this, right? We, but not at all times think that they like us, too. Therefore, we assume.
"I believe that women are not toys to be played. They have feelings and they are prone to vulnerability. They deserve to be given with utmost love and care". He answered to our professor after being asked of his idea on those women being devalued.
I raised my eyebrows. Really, huh? Is he trying to get some good remarks from us? I turned my head to him. My eyes met his, so I just blinked and looked away.
After two hours of discussion, our professor dismissed the class. I was having the need to pee, but unfortunately all the cubicles in the admin building were preoccupied. 'Aha! Sa likod ng canteen!'
I ran as fast as I could to the comfort room because it was gonna come out already!
I sighed in relief the moment I finally got out from the cubicle, but after a minute or two, the disgusting smell of cigarette made me sneeze. Who the hell is smoking inside the campus for fuck's sake? Doesn't he know that it's prohibited here? I was about to leave the area, when somebody suddenly held my pulse. I stopped. I was startled especially when I saw Josh in front of me, holding the cigarette in his mouth as he let the smoke out from his nostril.
My eyes shifted to his hand holding my pulse which made him let go. "You know, it seems like you don't like me. Among our blockmates, you're the only one who do not talk to me. Why are you like that?"
I gave him a bad stare.
He disposed the cigarette on the ground and stepped onto it.
I couldn't see any emotion in his face. He's indeed, emotionless.
"Why do you care? Does it trouble you if I don't talk to you because I don't like?"
I asked him in a snappy way.
He looked away and as he swallowed his saliva, I noticed his adam's apple moving up and down.
"It's just that...it makes me think that you're mad at me or whatsoever. You just look at me and sometimes if my eyes meet yours, you'd give me a deadly stare."
I came closer to him slowly until we're already an inch apart that I could already smell his breath mixed with the cigarette he had just smoked. Due to his tall height considering the fact that I was just below his shoulder, I needed to look up just to meet his eyes. I looked at him in the eyes exquisitely. I hate looking into someone's eyes but I did it, anyway.
"I don't want to talk to you because I don't like you. Well, I thought you're not a bastard that you don't smoke cigarettes."
"Is that a big deal? What else did you think of me?"
I raised my eyebrows. "I thought you're not a fuckboy, you're a good person and that you don't play women's feelings".
"That's right. Your thoughts are exact".
His answer made me quiet. I moved away from him.
"I have to go now". As I took three steps, he spoke.
"Last week, monday night after our P. E class you were soaked in the rain. Someone who wore a pitch-black mask approached you and offered his umbrella—".
My tears instantly escaped from my eyes. The night last week was one of the darkest day in my life that I don't want to remember anymore, but unfortunately it's already been saved in my memory. If only I could delete it, my mind would be at peace...
"You were naive and innocent. That was proven when you came with him to a coffee shop. Even though you could not recognize him because his face was completely covered, you went with him. You thought he'd really bring you there to shove away the cold in your body, but you just found yourself in a tower hotel. You were confused and scared. You thought he was a good person, but he started touching you all over your body. You shouted and asked him to stop, but he just covered your mouth. You were taken by him that night."
I covered my mouth to avoid myself from making any noise. I had a hard time in breathing. I wanted to scream what I felt from the top of my lungs. I wanted to punch him right in the face.
"I thought you're no longer indulged in purity, Max."
"Fortunately, I was still virgin because I preserve my virginity for the man I'm gonna marry at the right time, but unfortunately it was just taken for granted".
"I'm sorry, but I was the rapist. That night I was the one who raped you".
I wiped my tears away and faced him.
"Yes, I know it's you, but I couldn't do anything or file a case against you because you're the son of the owner of this university where I currently study and I'm sure that no one's gonna believe me, too ."
I said and walked away.
He raped me that night, and I also strangled his girlfriend to death in her apartment, unknown to him yet. We're fair! He is mine. He is my rapist and I'm his girlfriend's murderer.
