❝ ― I know that it sounds cruel when I say that I like hurting your feelings, but it's only because it shows that you still care about what I have to say. ❞
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Kristy had invited me over today, despite the breakup between me and Sam, we often spent time together. This was a common occurrence so I suspected nothing of it. That was until I realised that she had invited me to the meeting of her club and tried to recruit me. She needed me drive them, from and to meetings. I had gotten my permit and was getting my license in a couple of months but I couldn't drive unless there was a licensed adult in the car.
"Okay so there's this snake called the shuai-jan, and if you hit the shuai-jan in the head, then its tail will attack you. But if you strike the tail, its head will attack you, and if you strike it right in the middle, both sides will come at you." Kristy stood on her bed, looking down on you all with her fist raised making exaggerated hand gestures.
"What?" Maryanne was incredibly confused by Kristy's attempt at a metaphor.
"It's from the art of war. Keep up." Maryanne rolled her eyes, "Okay, so the agency is moving in on our turf, and we need a new plan. We can't loose this club it's the best idea I've ever had."
"It's practically the only reason my dad lets me leave the house." Maryanne agreed.
"I've grown accustom to a certain quality of life, Sable paint brushes." Claudia mumbled, looking longingly into the distance.
I was about to leave when I realised that someone had intercepted my only escape route.
"Hey, dummy. Do we have any soda?" I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, my gaze focussed on my lap. I recognised that voice, Sam.
"I don't know, check the fridge. I'm not your butler." Kristy's was peeved but her eyes stared at me in an apologetic manner.
"Check this out." Sam, who held his guitar tightly in his hands began to play. He had played those same notes to me several months ago and had gotten them wrong, he had improved but still couldn't get the second note quite right.
My hands began to shake, I desperately tried to inhale and exhale but breathing had seamed to become some what of a chore. Maryanne rested her hand on my shoulder, my eyes welled with tears. I began to sweat, I tried to count in my head but it wasn't working.
"Y/N?" Y/E/C met hazel, I tried to regain any form of sanity that he hadn't already taken away from me.
"I have to go." It was now that I had realised that Stacey was no longer in the room.
"Wait, will you join then?" Kristy called after me, I was halfway through the door.
I put one foot in front of the other, in front of the other. Slowly, I turn every corner, turn every corner.
"I-i can't, I'm sorry Kristy." I lifted my head up and blinked back my tears before I rushed towards the kitchen. My emotions brimmed and poured out like blood from a wound. The hot, transpicuous tears seemed to return as they flooded the corner of my tear duct.
My hands began to tremble, "No, no, no. This can't be happening."
I coughed slightly trying to force away the throbbing pain in my chest, my breathe was caught in my throat. I tried to count down from 100 in threes, "100, 97, 94, 90." No that wasn't right.
Soft sobs fell from my lips as I tried desperately to regain my breath. I felt someone clasp my arm and pull me onto a chair, a sudden warmth surged through my body. Sam.
"Hey, it's going to be okay. D-do you remember the day I asked you out?" I looked at him through my tear blurred vision confused, now wasn't the time.
"I-i, yeah." My words were short and distant as I desperately hung onto every breath.
"We were in park, on the swings and I was so nervous. You knew something was off and asked me what was wrong. You pestered me until told you I was scared because I'd caught feelings. Do you remember what you told me? 'Don't be afraid, fear will consume you if you let it. Don't let fear win. So let's be brave, because I like you too.' So Y/N, don't let fear win." I found that the pain had subsided and breathing had now become easier to inhale and exhale.
"Hey, Sam." His eyes, which had once been focussed on his lap, met mine.
"Yeah?"
"Remember the day we broke up?" My words were resentful, laced with poison. I wanted to hurt him, he couldn't just waltz back into my life as if nothing had happened between us. He did this to me and he was going to reap the consequences.
"I think it's best if you leave." His tone wasn't bitter, cold or even angry. Infact, above all it sounded like he was holding back tears.
"Yeah, I think so too."
Even when your nowhere in the room, I'm haunted by you.
