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I was numb, completely unfeeling as I laid in bed. My eyes were carmine red and my meds rested on my bedside cabinet. Sam's broken skateboard was on my bedroom floor, different colours of blenders painted all over. We had taken a beginners art class for extra credit a long time ago and the only thing he had picked up from it was how to draw a blender. It was meaningless at the time but I'd do anything to go back to then.
We had broken up a couple weeks ago, the mess which resided on my bedroom floor was me getting over him. Pictures of us were torn and scattered all over my bed, his sweaters were all thrown into a pile. I was going to return everything that he had ever got me but there was one thing that I couldn't part with. It was a picture of us on our six month anniversary. We looked so happy, it reminded me of a simpler time. Before, my panic attacks or our hour long arguments, we were happy together and not short thrill that you got when you were excited. The ecstasy that dragged on, part of me couldn't help but wonder if I was falling in love with him. That wouldn't be so bad, would it? If I were to fall in love with him, would the breakup hurt more?
I wanted to get up, but my legs couldn't move. I desperately wanted to talk but my voice was raw with the sobs that went on for to long.
I reached over and grabbed a scented candle, Kristy had gotten it for me, for Christmas last year.
I light all my candles,light all my candles. The darkness is too hard to handle,too hard to handle.
I pulled the candle closer to me and made a wish, 'I wish that I'd get over Sam.'
Sleeping is just something I can't do, I'm haunted by you...
But the thing about wishes is that, sometimes they never come true.
