Whilst you were gone.. ('The Irish Girl' Sequel) (DG fanfic)

Chapter 1:He's gone

It had only been a year and I felt nothing but pain, like someone had ripped my chest open and took my heart out. All there was is a hollow wound where my heart used to be, the wound throbs at the mention of Liam's, Name.
I couldn't think of his name as it brought me too much pain but the pain was a reminder that he was mine. I had pushed him to go and live with his brother who is a nice guy, he deserves a chance at a family. But that meant letting me go, he wrote me a letter that I read almost everyday.
Chloe, I might be leaving but I leave my heart with you and I know you'll look after it. Thank you for pushing me to live with my brother and I'll always remember that, your the best thing that ever happened to me, my greatest love. And obviously, my best friend.
It's going to be hard not waking up with you or talking to you all night and listening to you laugh at my stupid jokes, you always had patience with me even when Mike didn't believe in me you did. I'll miss the smell of your hair and that cheap perfume I got you for Valentine's Day, or seeing you wearing my jumpers and hoodies. I'll miss every part of you and I know you'll miss me too, I won't forget our first time together. That night was amazing and your probably rolling your eyes at how cheesy I sound and that's another thing I'll miss, is you telling me what a nut I am.
You probably feel lost now just like I do but I want you to know that you'll bounce back.
Your stronger than you think, your stronger than me and I'll miss you everyday I won't
ever forget you because who can forget Chloe Stone? I know I won't. I'm trying not to cry writing this but I'll tell ya this hay fever is bad today.
I'll wait for you. One day when we're older and you've become a rockstar and I'm living the life in L.A as a music manager we'll see each other again. Maybe get married and have kids of our own, but I want you to grab life with both hands and maybe find someone but I know he'll never love you as much as I do. Don't forget me my girl.
Love, your Liam.
P.S, As hard as it is for you, try and stay out of trouble.
I hadn't read it today, it started to hit me, the heartbreak was taking over and I hadn't moved from the chair beside the window. I had watched him  go in franks arms, I felt like I was going to collapse when his brother rode away with him on the back in my old leather jacket.
I remember running out into the road and he came back and told me to let him go, that was the final nail in the coffin.
I had worn his jumper for months it smelt like him and I wanted to keep it that way. I hadn't been myself and a year feels like a century, I started off just crying and stuff the usual motions of a heartbreak but as the days moulded into one. I had turned into stone and I haven't got the energy to make a joke or even talk about the weather, everything is little to me and worthless.
I don't know what I'll do if the scent of his jumper was taken away.
Mike had checked on me during the night when I had nightmares. They had been occurring since he left, and the pain had gone sky high and I screamed from the pain. It was bewildering and getting worse, I flinch at every movement or bang.
I heard Mike and Tracy talking outside, "She's been like that for a year and it's got worse mike, shouldn't we call a doctor? It's not like her and it's scaring me" Tracy said concerned and I heard mike huff, "I don't know, her mental health hasn't always been tip top but Liam leaving has made it worse, like someone let off a grenade" Mike said and when he said his name I winced. "Mike, this can't go on! She's heartbroken I know but it's made her go on standby she's barley moved or spoke, when she does it's slow and her voice isn't the loud and bright one we always hear. Chloe is broken mike, she's just a shell and it's like  she's dying, she needs help" Tracy suggested and then Mike came in the room slowly and he touched my shoulder gently, like he was afraid I'll flinch. I turned to him and he smiled gently, "Chloe, we can't let you go on like this and I know it's been hard since Liam left but your mental health is clearly deteriorating and I want you to get some form of help. So, I'm going to call a doctor to get a second opinion and maybe you'll need therapy" Mike explained and I felt my chest tense up again as he mentioned his name, "Don't say his name mike! It hurts! Everything hurts! He's gone and there's nothing I can do and your seriously sending a shrink round? You think I'm crazy don't you? You think I'm a loony" I felt my chest get tighter and I was breathing heavily, I began to pant and cry. Mike held me in his arms and rocked me to calm me down, "Hey, sshh" he said and I cried on his shoulder and I let out a few screams. "He's gone mike! He's gone!" I repeated, and then Mike pulled away and held my face, I could see he was worried about me and he said "I'm going to get you help Chloe, I'll make it better okay? It's what he'd want me to do. He wouldn't forgive me if I didn't do anything" Mike said and I nodded, I was going to try and get better but the pain won't ever go.
No matter how many drugs they shove down my throat or the words they say. "I miss him" I whispered as my throat was closing up. I couldn't breathe and I tried taking a few deep breaths, Mike helped me breathe and when I took a sip of water after he gave me my meds I began to feel my chest loosen. But the pain was still there but it was bearable, I slumped to the kitchen and tried to eat. Gina gave a sorrowful smile and the others felt awkward around me, like if they said something wrong to make me cry or shout. "Guys, don't feel like you can't talk to me, just don't talk about him okay?" I said and Carmen pulled me into a hug, "We're all here for you Chloe, he said to look after you and we will" Carmen promised and I knew he would've gave them a pep talk, it's almost like he knew this would happen to me.
I tried to eat the food but my stomach swirled after every mouthful and I ran upstairs to be sick, I hadn't eaten properly in days. I had little mouthfuls but every time I did eat I threw up, I had lost weight and I was visibly thinner. It's like my body is rebelling against me and it's like I'm slowly dying, and I was. I didn't even sound the same I sounded like a bad reception my voice was low and monotone. There was no happiness like there usually is, I'm loud and proud but now I'm a little mouse. "Chloe? Are you okay?" Frank asked from behind the door and I got up wincing as I did as I opened the door and fell in his arms, "I'm not frank, Mike's getting me some help and Tracy's on suicide watch but please don't tell him about this because he'll only come straight back and I don't want to be the one who deprives him of a life without me." I said and Frank shook his head "Liam wouldn't want this for you Chloe, Liam only left because you convinced him I can't lie to him. He'll kill me when he finds out" I snapped after he said his name twice, the pain had reached boiling point and so did my temper. "WHAT DID I SAY FRANK?! DO NOT SAY HIS NAME AROUND ME EVER! IT HURTS DO YOU NOT GET IT?!" I shrieked and Mike came running over I sobbed again uncontrollably, Frank said "I'm sorry Chloe"and Mike said "Frank why don't you leave me to deal with this?" Frank nodded and went in his room.
Frank's POV
It was like I was looking at a ghost, she was pale and her lips were dry and crumbly. Chloe could barley stand without wrapping her arms around her torso like she was holding herself up. Chloe was a shell like Tracy said, the feisty girl had gone and she was just existing rather than living. She made me promise not to tell Liam but I wanted to maybe he is what she needs right now, if it's only one visit it might help. After Mike had calmed her down and she went back to siting at the window with her back to everyone, I went to the office and told mike my idea. "Mike, I think I have an idea to help Chloe" I said and he sat down with me. "What's that Frank?" He said and I sighed, "Maybe we should tell Liam what's been going on, I've been lying to him for a year and she's got worse" I suggested and mike continued "Frank, Liam will only move back after he sees her like that and maybe a clean break is what they both need I mean we don't know if Liam's coping well, they both clearly loved each other and it was hard for Liam to walk away from her" Mike said and he was right Liam found it hard to leave but Chloe was the only one who cared enough to let him go even though she loves him so much. "What do I tell him mike?" I asked and Mike said "I'll ring Jack and see what he says but in the meantime Liam knows nothing okay?" I nodded and left the room.
Mike's POV
I hated seeing Chloe like this, she's in pain and you can see it tearing through her and pinning her down. I thought it would take a lot to break her spirit but Liam held her together and now he's gone Chloe is not who she was. I grabbed the phone to speak to Jack and Liam was far from okay, "Liam's been moping around a little, he's been fine but when he mentions her name or yesterday when a song came on and it was her favourite one he said, he just burst out crying. I don't think they're dealing with it well mike, but Liam's enjoying living with me and I hope Chloe gets better because she's a strong girl Liam tells me, but do I tell him? I don't know" Jack said and it breaks my heart to hear that Liam's suffering too, Jack must feel horrible. "I think you should but I don't think him visiting will help her it's been a year and I hate to say it but Franks been lying to Liam the truth is she's got worse and it's got serious.
I mean you should see her, she's pale and she winces like she's been stabbed everytime she hears his name and she's not eaten properly but when she does she throws up and Liam coming back for a day then leaving again might throw her off the edge" I said and he agreed "I agree mike, I'm sorry about all this I knew I shouldn't have moved too fast I had no idea they loved each other that much if I'm honest I thought it was just a silly teenage romance" I assured him that wasn't the case and I said "You wasn't to know the depth of it jack and I didn't know until now but Frank is right Liam should know but try and sugar coat it so he doesn't go off on one and come back" Jack agreed and hung up after we said goodbye.
Liam's POV
Days moulded into one it had been a year since I left the dumping ground and I was supposed to be happy I had promised Chloe I'd be happy but I'm not, I miss her. Was I wrong to leave her? Was it all too soon? She was right about me having a chance of family and Jacks great.
It's like I've known him my whole life but I don't want him to think I'm angry at him for taking me out the dumping ground it's just hard for me to adjust to life without her.
Jack came in with a sad look on his face and I said "What's wrong Jack?" And he sighed "I just got off the phone to Mike" and I began to worry, "Is Chloe alright? Is she hurt?" And he put his hands on my shoulders and told me to breathe. I took a deep breath and he continued,
"Chloe isn't exactly hunky dory, Mike said she's in a bad way and she's not herself. She tries to eat but she throws it back up and she's barely moved or spoke, and everytime she hears your name she winces like she's being stabbed but, you can't see her Liam" Jack explained and I snapped "Frank told me she's alright, so he's been lying to me for a year? She's got worse and no one told me?! I need to see her Jack" I began to cry and he hugged me. "Liam, mike is worried it will make her worse he's saying she might need professional help and I agree you going back there and then leaving might set her off and she might... you know" he struggled to say it but I did "She'll get worse and end up doing something stupid" I finished his sentence off and I knew she'd be in a bad way, I'm an idiot for leaving her but why can't I see her? It's clearly what she needs. "Liam, she needs a doctor and you visiting for one day then leaving again like you said she'll do something stupid and she probably doesn't want that to be on your head, I know you love her and if it was up to me I'd let you see her but Mike knows her best and he thinks that a clean break is what you both need" But he's wrong, we're meant to be together and it hurts to know I can't help her. "Why did you bother telling me in the first place if I can't help her? And why didn't mike sort this out months ago? He promised me he'd look after her" I went up to my room and cried my heart out. I grabbed my phone and rang her, "Hi it's Chloe, leave a message" Chloe's phone was off and I didn't leave a message. I threw my phone across the room and punched the wall so hard I grazed my knuckles.
I thought to myself "I'm sorry Chloe" and I turned up some music and zoned out.
Chloe's POV
"She's in a catatonic state, this is a form of deep depression it is what we would expect to happen over a year, and she may be in that state for a while longer, I suggest you try and encourage her to do little things like walking even if it's around the house or garden or trying to eat something but, don't overwhelm her. The medication she's on makes a difference but you can't give a person in her state medication and expect her to snap out of it straight away, she's going to need therapy talking usually helps also, your right about not letting Mr. O'Donavan see her it will only set her back" The doctor droned on to Mike like he knew what was best for me I doubt any of them know what's best for me.
I felt my anger rise and I snapped like never before "I'm not a science project! I will not be analysed like I'm some sort of experiment! I'm sorry doc but you don't know me or know what's best for me in fact none of you know how I feel! So go ahead, get your notepad out I don't care! I know what's best for me and that's having the one person I love the most in this world back but I'm not that selfish so I let him go, I made that choice!" I was shaking badly as I carried on my anger filled rant,
"Put me in a straight jacket go ahead! It won't change how I feel or what I do, that's just my luck isn't it? First I get put in a care home because my mother doesn't love me enough to care for me, then I get bruised and battered trying to save my friends then" I started to cry again as I pushed out the next words, "Then I loose my best friend who I love more than my own life, I did what anyone would do for the person they love, I let him go regardless of my own feelings. No text book or psycho analysis is going to make me feel magically better nor is a shrink going to tell me how to feel!" I stormed off to my room and I broke down. I felt the walls close in on me like I was being trapped every corner of this house screams his name every where I look and I can't even bring myself to go in his old room, A year had gone by and people would think I'd be over it by now but I'm nothing without him.
He made me who I am and gave me the love and comfort I had been missing my whole life. Stevie was in Ireland and couldn't help me, I can't let him see me like this he will go mental. But maybe I needed him right now but I knew who I really wanted and he doesn't even know I'm like this. Mike also lied to Stevie for me.
Frank told him I'm fine and I've been telling frank to lie to him, I almost feel selfish but I know it will cut him deep and if he knew the extent of my pain. I don't even recognise myself anymore, Tracy's right I'm a shell.
I curled up on my bed and went to sleep, hoping I didn't see him or have another nightmare.