"Mike tells me your thinking of leaving" Brian began as I sat down biting my nails, I was anxious. I replied "Yeah, that's right" Brian noticed my anxiety and asked "Chloe, are you okay?" And I chuckled nervously. "Yeah, I'm peachy! The reason I'm moving away is because of Ryan, he's fallen for me and I don't know what I feel and I want to stay but I'll only make it worse and end up leading him on, my heart is telling no, you'll only betray Liam.
My head is pushing me to go for it but don't people say go with your heart not your head?" I was becoming hysterical and I took a sip of water. Brian continued, "Chloe, your clearly scared and it's natural. Liam is the only one you think your allowed to love because he was your first and I know it's all crazy, you've developed feelings for Ryan and your still in the mentality that if you do go for Ryan you'll hurt Liam. But you have to do what is right for you, that's half your problem Chloe. You always think of others and their judgement regardless of your own, I say go away and think about it before you decide further and go for what you truly want" Brian was right, I needed to think of myself but I knew for a fact I wasn't going to love Ryan like I love Liam. "But I can't love Ryan like I love Liam, and it's what Ryan expects of me and I can't give him that. I can't give someone what I don't have, trust me when I say that. I need to get myself together Brian" I explained and Brian nodded "That's totally reasonable, but I sense a little conflict. Your scared of Liam possibly coming back and seeing you moving on, your attachment to liam has caused you to have a mentality that if you and Ryan do make a go of it then you'll be some how betraying him, maybe moving out could possibly make it worse for you. I'm not entirely sure your ready Chloe, I think your running away" and Brian wasn't wrong either, I was running away. "What do I do then?" I asked and he shrugged "Only you can answer that Chloe if you want my advice, I say stay away from Ryan until you know yourself what you want. It's a choice, either you continue wondering what Liam will say or you choose Ryan".
I left the room and went upstairs, I turned music up and I laid on my bed and thought.
One hand, I loved Liam and worshipped the ground he walked on. And I could wait or dial a number and hear his voice again, and maybe I'll wait. But the other hand, I try with Ryan regardless of how I feel about what Liam would say and do if he found out or came back one day and saw us. Maybe I need to see what it's like with someone else, Ryan challenges me he annoys the crap out of me but I like it for some reason. You could say he's distracted me from all my problems and helped me lock away the zombie, but do I go with my head without consulting with my heart?. Who knows?.
(This chapter is short as I'm going to write a chapter from Liam's perspective)
YOU ARE READING
Whilst you were gone.. ('The Irish Girl' Sequel) (DG fanfic)
FanfictionIt had been a year since Liam left, a year of pain and heartbreak. Chloe had been catatonic the moment Liam left her arms. She knew letting him go was the right thing to do, he went to live with his brother. Eventually she got better and a new boy a...
