Whilst you were gone.. ('The Irish Girl' Sequel) (DG fanfic)

Chapter 10: Giving in

I opened my eyes and I took a deep breath and before Ryan could say a word I placed my finger on his lips, "Don't talk" and I placed my hands around his neck and closed my eyes as I pressed my lips against his. I felt my chest rip open but I didn't care, I felt better. Like a weight has lifted, Ryan kissed me passionately like he had been holding back for years. And it felt like it, his hands were in my hair and I pulled him closer to me. His tongue traced my lips and I opened my mouth, and the kiss became more desperate. I didn't want it to end, but I couldn't find my lungs to breathe because I was so intoxicated by Ryan and Ryan alone.
But Ryan wasn't done, he moved his lips slowly from my lips to my neck. I let out a sigh and I felt my heart hammering against my ribs, I was breathing heavily. I had never experienced anything like it, the kiss wasn't like any kiss I was used to. Liam kisses me like I'm a delicate flower and he's gentle yet he has an edge, it's like what Ryan does to me is what I did to him.
Ryan however, didn't hold back. His kiss starts off gentle but with what's been going on, he was more forceful. Then the desire became panic, "Chloe! Stop!" My head screamed at me and I pushed Ryan away. "I can't do this, I'm sorry" I went out the door before Ryan could say anything, I ran out the kitchen into the back garden and as the air hit me the butterflies made me dizzy.
I threw up in the bush, my head was spinning.
"Chloe?!" Ryan called and I sat on the bench with my head between my knees, "I'm sorry for running off Ryan, it wasn't you it's me. I had this voice in my head and I kept picturing Liam, I feel better now it's out the way but I feel worse!" I was sure I was having a panic attack, "Chloe, calm down, I don't know why you would think I'd be angry I was expecting you to run anyway. I could tell, but the kiss was great. I have never been kissed like that!" I laughed and said "You mean to say you've never been kissed right?" He nodded.
"Yeah, your my first kiss, I hope I was doing it right. Part of me thought the kiss was why you ran away" I chuckled at his response and patted his head, "You wasn't bad Ryan! And I'm a loose canon, but like I said it wasn't bad it was good" that seemed to ease his worry and I smiled. "Would you like another kiss?" He winked at me and I scoffed "Your off your rocker!, it's a one time thing Ryan. I'm not ready for a relationship, for many reasons".
"It's fine" he didn't seem too convincing, "Ryan?" I raised my eyebrow and he huffed "Well, I don't want to come across annoying but I was kind of hoping that me and you.... well you know would be some kind of thing" Why? I'm no good anyway, I'm damaged goods and someone like me isn't going to help someone like him. "Ryan, my mental health isn't all there and let's face it I've never had a great mentality and I know what your going to say, you went out with Liam and everything was fine but he's an exception but even when I was with Liam it wasn't always a bed of roses.
I relied on him too much, he didn't care but I did and he kept me sane. But now he's gone, I couldn't put it on you, especially when your not exactly tip top yourself. I still don't trust you" I explained and he seemed to understand, "It's fine Chloe" he walked away I could see he was a little hurt, I felt bad but I didn't at the same time. I was more stressed, maybe the kiss wasn't such a good idea. God I'm such a screw up!. I decided the only thing I could do is try and sleep it off, I ate dinner and Ryan shot me a few sad looks but I didn't care. I wasn't going to be made to feel guilty, so I decided to make the biggest mistake of my life.
"Ryan!" I shouted from the living room, everyone had gone out to the cinema and I decided to stay home. "What?" He replied.
I got up from the sofa and looked him in the eye, "I don't know if your trying to make me feel bad or your genuinely upset but I decide if I'm ready to move on, that belongs to me and only me. And if you can't get that, then why did I even bother trying to believe this wasn't a game?" I said and he smirked, "You wasn't complaining when we kissed so what's your point? Your just scared because your precious Liam might come running back and find us together" I punched him and I slammed his face against the wall, "Don't you ever say his name again! And you'll be a fool to cross me Ryan, it's a dangerous game your playing especially with me" I let him go and went out on my motorbike, I didn't care if I was supposed to stay home. If I did I'd end up killing him, "Your not supposed to leave me here you know!" Ryan called and I turned around and raised my middle finger at him, "See if I care! Goody two shoes!" I shouted back as I revved the engine and rode off.
If Ryan wants a game, then it's game on.
Ryan's POV
I can't believe I blew it, my chance to finally prove myself and I blow it! But that's just me, I'm Ryan the screw up. But it's her fault, and she kissed me back. Chloe can act like she's tough and she doesn't care, but I knew that was a lie. Chloe is just a broken girl with a lot of issues, she's vulnerable. Chloe is more soft then she makes out, I guess the reason I like her is because she can see right through me and she's not stupid enough to fall for my charms and tricks. I went into the office and decided to read her file, I knew I shouldn't have but I was curious. She hadn't told me much about her past, and why this stupid Liam was so special to her.
I looked through and I couldn't believe what I read. She had been through some tough stuff, getting into fights and arrested.
I looked for more clues, I read what her mum had done to her. I felt sorry for her almost, being left alone for weeks and her mother never told her she loved her, no wonder she had major trust issues.
I read her criminal record, she even got into trouble for Liam. She wasn't lying when she said she loves him, but why go through all that?. 
Chloe and liam have a special relationship, there are no causes for concern and they seem like a great couple.
That made my stomach turn, I was thinking "Come on blue eyes, you can do better than that" I heard someone come in and I was in trouble. "What the hell are you doing with my file?!" Chloe looked at me shocked, and I well and truly blew it. "Chloe, I can explain" and she  chuckled "I knew it! I bloody knew it! You were using me, and I thought you were going to prove me wrong. And you can shove your explanation, I'm done with you" she walked away and Mike was behind me, "Well, you can explain it to me" and I was toast.