Whilst you were gone.. ('The Irish Girl' Sequel) (DG fanfic)

Chapter 40: Not your blue eyes

1 month later....
A month ago, Stevie decided to give up his life for me. That night I was the one who was meant to pull the trigger, I was the one who should've been sentenced to ten years in prison.
Not him, Stevie took the rap for me that night. It just proves everything I needed to know, that man would do anything to keep me safe. Why him? Why give up everything for a messed up kid like me?. I took 100 steps back, I was in the same position I was a year ago.
I was two months away from being eighteen, I didn't even feel excited like I would've been. The first birthday without Stevie, another one where I wasn't excited. My sixteenth was painful, I just sat there. Now I'm doing the same thing I was only Liam was with me, it helped but a new kind of pain came to me.
"Chloe, baby you can't keep blaming yourself. I hate seeing you like this, it's killing me" Liam said as he sat with me and I scoffed "Your not the one who had to watch their cousin go down for ten years" I shouldn't have snapped but I was angry at Stevie. Liam didn't mind, "It's okay to be angry clo, but Stevie did it for you" he was right but I still couldn't get my head around it. "I know, I'm sorry for snapping I'm just still trying to make sense of it all. Maybe he knew I possibly would've done it because I'll be honest, bone offered me it all. Complete control over the serpents, all the businesses and everything to its name. Bone was prepared to give it all to me, I wanted it. At the time, I had nothing to lose. You hadn't found me and I was hell bent on trying to keep you and Ryan away from me, I thought if I left then you'll possibly give up after a while. Then I'd take over the serpents, commit murder" I told him and he shook his head "Your a lot of things Chloe but a murderer? No, your not. I know the extent of your temper is dangerous but no way would you resort to that, I'm not being biased I swear. I'm your boyfriend, I've known you for five years, don't beat yourself baby" Liam said soothingly as he held me. I smiled "I don't know where I'd be without you, I'm sorry it's not been the best month for us. Especially now we're back together, I promise I'll be better soon" I patted his cheek, we still hadn't told Ryan. I couldn't bring myself to yet so we keep the PDA on the low, no one knows about us.
As much as I want to shout it from the roof tops, I couldn't hurt Ryan right now. Not when he risked his life to bring me home, speaking of Ryan. "Hey blue eyes, how you feeling?" He asked as he took Liam's place, I gave liam a desperate look as he left the room. He texted me whenever I was with Ryan,
L- Sorry baby, I'll see you later okay? Don't let him try nothing. L x
C- Don't be too hard on him liam, he did help save me as well. I'll be upstairs soon, feel free to take charge of my records but please don't scratch them up like you did my Beatles record, it's not the 90's and I had to replace that.
L- Sorry clo, I promise I'll be careful this time. I love you sweetheart x
C- I love you too ya big old softie x ;)
L- that's my girl 😂 x
I turned my phone face down on my lap as I sat back in Ryan's arms, both of them had been taking it in turns.
They both wanted to comfort me, a month ago I wasn't talking much. I saw the heartbreak in their faces as both of them tried every day to get me back to getting better,it was a little quicker than my last episode. Liam was here to soothe the pain and comfort me when I had a nightmare, I let Ryan stay with me one night. Liam didn't like that but we had to put on a front, I still wasn't ready to tell Ryan. But I knew I had to soon enough, "What you thinking about Chloe?" He asked as he played with my hair, I laughed "Not much being honest, I just drift off when you play with my hair. It takes me to another world" I told him and I felt him kiss my head, that fuelled my pain. I held it back for him, "I'm glad your back blue eyes, I'll admit I missed you all the time I couldn't get you out of my head. I tried to follow your positive wisdom I mean both of us did, your shocked I know we actually got on for once" Ryan laughed at the end and I sighed "Well, all I had to do was run away and you two got on? Wow but in all seriousness, I'm so happy you did. But I too thought of you, I was worried about you the most. I know your Ryan and you can handle yourself but I know there's a vulnerability to you, it's a good thing. Your kind and sweet, Liam is the same but I'll admit the boy is street wise" I told him. Ryan began to run his knuckle down my cheek, oh no.
He moved a strand of my hair away from my neck, his lips touched my neck. "Ryan, no" I breathed and he looked at me confused, "Why?, I've missed you" Ryan said in a husky tone, he continued and I got up. "What part of no didn't you get? You can't play the hero and expect me to chose you, this is the reason I left!" I snapped and he gave me a cold look, "Oh yeah, because of me. I knew it! Why didn't I see it?" He scoffed as he placed both hands on his hips as he looked up at the ceiling. "What?" I asked as I knew what he was about to assume, I knew he'd be right. "You and Liam, your back together" Ryan assumed correctly and I hesitated "I... I... look, I was going to tell you when I was feeling better. You know I've not been in a good place" I managed to get out and he laughed "You always turn it all on you! Poor little Chloe, ran away to become a gang member because she was angry and then her cousin goes to prison but that doesn't stop her from going back to the guy who caused all of the mess in the first place!" I snarled at his analysis, "Well maybe if you hadn't tried to wreck things with me and Liam, my cousin wouldn't be in prison" I hit back as my fists curled. Ryan continued. "You were supposed to be mine Chloe, I never left you and I know I did some terrible things but you keep forgetting. I was the one who saw you at your lowest, I may have been mean to you but it brought you back didn't it? When he tried moving on I helped you with that mess, see how all our problems stem from him and your love for him" He walked over to me and I glared at him "That's not the point Ryan and you know it" I said walking away from him, knowing it was impossible. I was well and truly backed into a corner, "Ryan, I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. We were already back together the moment I saw him again, I'll be honest we got back together in Ireland. I was the one who wanted to keep it from you, Liam thought you deserved to know at the time but I didn't want to break your heart" before Ryan could say anything I heard a low snarl. "Let her go now" Liam said through his teeth, Ryan turned away from me as he smirked. "Oh here we go, Liam to the rescue. It's as if Harley Quinn prefers batman over the joker, what a load of crap!" Ryan mocked. I gave liam a pleading look, "Liam, don't, please" I urged and he ignored my plea "No no Chloe you don't have to defend him, because all he is, is jealous. Jealous I have you again, he knows you'll always choose me" Liam rubbed the salt in Ryan's wounds but I knew he was right.
"Yes Liam we get it! You won the prize, all that talk back in Dublin of how you felt sorry for me and how thankful you were that I helped her whilst you were gone but all of that was just to butter me up so I'd be okay with you stealing my blue eyes" Ryan began to hold back tears and Liam laughed mockingly. "Ryan, I'm not your blue eyes anymore...." that hit him hard but I continued to put nails in his coffin, "I never was, I know it's hard for you to accept but I stand by my decision. I'm not apologising for choosing not to live a lie, I'm not apologising for letting you go which was so hard.
I will not apologise for loving Liam more than you, harsh I know but it's true Ryan and if you can't accept that then I can't help you more than I already tried to" I stated my case all Ryan had to do was decide wether to serve back the ball in his court.
I stood in the middle again, between both of the boys I loved.
Liam dropped his glare and Ryan sighed, "I'm sorry Chloe, I just can't be here anymore, I'll ask mike if I can move out. Maybe I'll get transferred to my sisters home, but I hope your happy Chloe Stone" he left the room, I could see the tears fill his eyes.
"Ryan, wait" I followed him as he walked into the garden, he ignored me but I wasn't leaving it. "Ryan Reeves you look at me now!" I shouted and he turned on his hell and shrugged "What?, what can you possibly say Chloe? You don't even need to apologise, I'm just trying to come to terms with it because I had high hopes you'd take me instead of him. I guess I should've seen it coming, maybe I'll go to Ireland join the serpents. I'm gang material, you once said I'd be a great mafia boss" Ryan told me on the verge of tears and I was too. "No, you don't want that life Ryan,
I only joined because I had no life, my mother couldn't care less and Stevie was the only influence in my life. I was only a kid, I'm not letting you make the same mistake! You saw me with that gun, I could've done it if it wasn't for ste, I would've been the one looking at ten years behind bars" I began to panic, my anxiety hasn't been good lately.
"Hey, don't cry blue eyes, come here, it's okay" Ryan pulled me in a hug, Liam came over.
"Get off her" Liam said and I shook my head, "Liam, please don't start" I told him and he sighed "Fine" and I smiled at him. Ryan held me for a while then handed me over to Liam, "Ryan where are you going?" I asked as I rested my head on Liam's shoulder.
Ryan smiled "I'm going to find crybaby, that should cheer you up and Liam, I'm sorry mate. I know you'll look after her, better than I could" I smiled as Ryan left. Liam took his hoodie off, noticing I was freezing. I had only put on my vest and flannel shirt on, "Hey what about you lee?" I asked and he smiled his Liam smile that told me he was okay. "Your warm anyway baby, do you want to talk about it?" He asked as he rubbed my head.
"I just talked Ryan out of going to Ireland and becoming a serpent, I can't help but feel terrible" I told him. "Oi!, no feeling guilty for anything Chloe. Your a good person" Liam disagreed and I laughed. "You think too highly of me Liam" I joked and we went back inside.
Ryan was sat on the sofa with popcorn and my favourite drink, cherry coke.
It's not whiskey but it will do, Mike called me info the office before we started the film. "Chloe, shut the door" he said and I looked at liam, "Go sit down, I'll be fine" I told him as I shut the door.
I sat on the chair in front of May-Li who smiled at me, "Chloe, Stevie is on the phone" Mike told me with a smile and I gasped as I rushed over to the phone. "Ste!" I exclaimed along with a sigh of relief, "Rover, oh am I glad to hear from you!" Stevie sighed happily and I smiled "Whats up?" I asked and he sounded like he was about to burst into tears, "Chloe, good news, because of my confession and all the details I gave in court and my guilty plea. I've had a reduction on my sentence to only five years!" I could not be happier, "Oh Stevie! This is the best news I've had all year, I thought I'd wouldn't see you until I was twenty eight and you'll be almost middle aged, five years but you might be getting out sooner. If you behave, which I hope you will Stevie" I told him and he laughed "Scouts honour rover, when you visiting me?" He asked and I looked to mike who could hear the whole conversation and he said "Whenever you like but I'll have to come with you and get permission from Martha" and I squealed as I mouthed "Thank you".
"I'll let you know Ste, I'm just so happy you got a reduced sentence!" I rejoiced and then I heard a voice say "Times up nelson" that meant he had to go, thats the sad part. I can't call him whenever I want but I didn't care, my cousin was getting out sooner than I thought. "I've got to go Chloe, I'll call tomorrow okay?" He said and he cut out before I could reply.
"Thanks so much mike, did you hear that?!" I squealed and he nodded "Yes, I'm happy too Chloe now before you go, brian called, he said he'll be visiting in a few months. He's abroad, his daughter called and he's staying with her, but he asked if you could keep a diary, which I know you have. And to call him only in emergency" Mike told me and I nodded "Yeah, I'll do that" then I left the office.
Liam was waiting for me and I smiled "Liam, guess what?" I said and he asked "What?" I jumped up and down. "Stevie called and his sentence has been reduced!!" I jumped into his arms and he smiled "That's great clo" and Ryan agreed "That's amazing, how did he manage to swing that?" He asked. "Stevie gave evidence and was honest in court, and if he behaves he can reduce it further" I told them. I sat down in Liam's arms and we watched the movie, Liam smiled at me and Ryan did too.
Maybe, things were looking up, but I could tell Ryan was still unhappy with the outcome of the love triangle. I hoped he'd forgive me but for now I was somewhat happy, Liam was with me and I was going to see my cousin sooner than I thought.
(2 more chapters to go guys 🥺)