Empty Addiction ~ DaiSuga

Chapter 2

There were times when Sugawara felt hungry now. Not the "give me a quick snack" type of hungry. His sides hurt now.

Whenever he did eat, he'd eat very little or just push the food around his plate. It felt uncomfortable eating with so many people staring at him, worried or just talking. Especially with Gin's "innocent" teasing. He couldn't handle be teased anymore and would rush off if it would happen.

But Sugawara had something to calm him down now thanks to his best friend. Because if he'd run off to his room then he'd grab the sweater draped over his desk chair or the side of his bed and slip into the warm fabric.

Especially when darker thoughts came. Often times these thoughts were just "don't eat today" or "that isn't healthy enough". But sometimes… they got bad.

His body urged him to hold the pain all day long and then fill up before emptying it out. He knew it was wrong so he never did it. Sometimes he'd catch himself staring at the toilet a little too long.

He didn't blame himself though. It was the internet. He swore it was. Because before he'd found an article on social media about how throwing up would help you lose weight faster, he'd never thought about it.

Except for tonight it was bad. His sweater had been taken to be washed.

He trusted Daichi and that smell was of something so calming that he couldn't lay his finger on. But all he knew is that it helped and he didn't have it.

Sugawara got up, feeling full from dinner. He walked into his bathroom and sat down, sighing. "They said fingers would work better because I could wash my hand…"

Sugawara sighed and leaned over, prodding the back of his throat with his fingers. He gagged softly and kept pushing. He whimpered softly just before he stared at the remains of his dinner in the toilet bowl.

"That wasn't too bad…" Sugawara flushed the toilet and got up. He washed his face and hands before walking out of his room to get some water. His mother looked up from the dinner table, hands hovering above the keyboard.

"You alright?"

"Yeah!" Sugawara smiled. "Is my sweater dry?"

"It's in the living room."

"Thank you." Sugawara drank some water before getting the sweater and putting it on. He frowned, the calming smell gone from the detergent. Sugawara laid down and sighed. "This is fine…"

****

"Dai! Hey, quick question." Sugawara said, bounding up to the brunette. Daichi turned and smiled.

"Quick answer."

"Ah you got me." Suga pulled Daichi's sweater out of his bag. "I noticed that this smells really nice but my mom washed it and now it doesn't."

"That's not a question Suga."

"Right. I was wondering if you can make it smell nice again?"

"I don't follow."

Sugawara tapped his chin for a moment. He smiled nervously. "Excuse me for a moment."

"Hm?"

Sugawara hugged Daichi tightly, burrowing his face into his chest. Daichi blushed a light rose as this happened. Sugawara pulled away and chuckled. "It smells like you."

"O-oh! Oh okay." Daichi rubbed the back of his neck. "My mom makes me spray my clothes with this cologne thing. Maybe that's it. I can get you some if it really does make you feel better."

"You would do that for me?"

"Of course. Besides, it's to attract girls and I really don't want that to happen."

"Huh?"

"I've said too much."

"Wait. Oh my gosh are you gay too?"

"Too?"

"Yeah! I'm gay." Sugawara beamed. "Are you?"

Daichi nodded. "I'm bi. But I swing more towards guys."

"Cool! We can be gay buddies but not in that weird way where everyone thinks that's our only reason for being friends. Because personally I just think you're really nice and a great friend already."

"O-oh. Yeah that sounds great."

"Great!" Sugawara put the sweater back. "By the way, I will see you this weekend. I convinced my mom to let me come instead of hanging out with my cousin."

"That's great." Daichi smiled softly. "You seem really happy today."

"I got to set a lot this morning. It was really great."

The brunette nodded. "Being happy suits you."

Sugawara opened his mouth, closed it and blushed. "T-thank you."

"Did I say something wrong?"

"No! No it's okay. I just don't have many people saying that kind of thing to me." Sugawara laughed again.

"Why not? You really do seem better being happy. As everyone does but your little frowns are a bit strange for your personality. Sorry if that was rude."

"Not at all. I appreciate it."

"Well I'll see you tomorrow. I'll bring some of the spray too." Daichi ruffled Sugawara's hair. Both laughed before walking apart from each other.

Asahi looked up from his book, leaning against the school building. Daichi walked up to him and tapped his book. Asahi looked up, startled. "Hey."

"Hey. Let's go home."

"Right." Asahi put his book in his bag and walked beside the other male. "So how did talking to him go?"

"He asked for the cologne thing because he likes the way I smell. And he's gay." Daichi smiled. "He's really sweet."

"Ah." Asahi smiled. "That's good."

"Yeah. I told him I was bi. He said we were gay buddies but tried not to make it sound strange. He's coming over this weekend to hang out with us too."

"You didn't tell him you liked him?"

"Nope. I can't yet. I want to wait and get to know him better."

"That's actually really nice."

Daichi smiled again and laughed. "Thank you."

Asahi nodded. He was happy for his friend and glad he was getting close to someone he'd liked. Not everyone was so accepting of him so when things liked this happened he felt a bit better about how both of them were hiding and being accepted. Sometimes his shyness helped hide but Daichi tended to stick to the people he liked romantically so it posed danger for both of them.

"You feel alright?"

"Mhm. Just thinking."

"About?"

"A lot if things." Asahi sighed. "Just don't worry about it."

"Bad liar."

"Eh. I'm not lying."

"Alright." Daichi smiled. "Don't worry, I'm being careful."

"Alright." Asahi sighed in relief. Stress wasn't good on him.