Walk Me [BTS FF]

The Girl

Y/N's POV

This is so messed up. After texting Jin about the accident I let out an exasperated sigh and Hobi noticed it and eyed me weirdly but didn't say a word.

The silence dragged on until we were near the hospital. I was about to get out of the car when he held my hand.

"Y/N.." He spoke a bit hesitant, while looking elsewhere but me.

"Yes? What is it Hobi?" I asked.

"About last night. thank you. I'll forever treasure it in my heart.." And then he fell silent and bit on his lips before speaking again. "..but I guess let's forget about it. It was a mistake after all."

I don't know why, but what he said was far worse than a stab to the chest. It was a mistake. Just like before, everyone that I tried to open my heart out to, takes me as a mistake.

Am I really that unworthy?

I tried to blink back the tears and tried my best to give him a smile, even if deep down I know it's all fake.

"Yeah, no problem," I breathed, then removed my hand from his grip. I can't afford to look him in the eye anymore, as I quickly went down and headed to the entrance.

Timeskip

It was awkward, to say the least. Mom woke up and was playing with Cyril while dad was talking to Hoseok.

I was feeling uncomfortable as time passed. After the little chat in the car, me and my best friend never talked again. I felt sad and I felt bad. I know I shouldn't feel this way but deep down I hoped that whatever we had last night could blossom into something more.

But I can't blame him though, anybody who could have seen us must think the same. I know what I do isn't appropriate, but I came to like my job. I didn't like it because I was loving it, but I liked it because it gave me what I need, what we need.

I was only appreciating what I have before me. Yes, my business is the pleasure of others, but sometimes I can't help but think? What if I had a normal life? A normal relationship?

Will I be able to love or be loved wholeheartedly? I was still longing to be loved. I was still hoping that someone could treasure me like I'm the only one in their eyes.

But in other people's opinion, my line of work is unacceptable. I'm a whore, a slut. I'm filthy, I'm dirty. I don't deserve love. Maybe that's one of the reasons why I can't be happy.

Jimin says he wants to be a part of my life but I can't let my guard down. He met me in my line of work, so I know deep down he still has doubts about me. He can't fully trust me to be only his.

V proposed a mutual understanding of being his sugar baby. But also that has consequences. He might ask for my full attention which I can't guarantee that I can give.