Show six: San Antonio
I open my eyes to be met with worried green ones staring right back at me.
My whole body jumps in shock at the closeness between our bodies because we haven't made any contact for days now.
Lauren pulls away slightly but still her eyes stay locked with mine.
The hurt and worry that is held deep in them makes a shudder surge through my entire being.
She says nothing though and I begin to grow irritated at the fact.
Lauren notices obviously since I am unable to hide anything from her, even if I tried to do so.
"Why?"
The word is whispers and I barely hear it falling from her shaking lips.
Her eyes linger on mine for a moment longer before dripping down my body, landing on my bandaged up arms from the night before.
I hadn't wanted Lauren to know about our trip to the hospital because I didn't want to worry her. I also didn't want her to talk to me just because of the guilt and pity.
My heart shrieks at me to not give into her once again and I know that it is best to not allow her in.
"I'm not enough" I simply say before rolling out of my bunk and walking to the kitchen where the other girls are, leaving a shocked Lauren behind.
They all smile widely at me once they notice my presence and Ariana pulls me to sit on her lap beside the table. "Dude we have gotta get some more of that chicken from yesterday" she mutters and pokes at the toast.
I giggle at her because she loves chicken just how I love pizza.
The girls agree just in time for Lauren to emerge. She walks straight past us, slowly enough for us all to see the tears but quick enough so we don't ask any questions.
My stomach turns as she goes into the living area and I look down to the floor guiltily. I shouldn't have snapped, maybe it is best that I explain things to her?
She really has no idea what is going on, not even why I suddenly stopped speaking to her.
"Whats wrong with Lauren?" Ally asks and I sigh, standing up from Ariana's lap and pointing to the door where Lauren just disappeared into.
They nod in understanding and I make my way through to the girl that causes me so much pain, but is also the reason why my heart beats.
I almost burst into tears myself when my eyes land on a silently sobbing Lauren.
Her entire body is trembling as she tries to muffle her sobs and her knees are pulled to her chest as her hands cover her beautiful face.
Lauren is usually the strong one but then when it comes to me its like she is a completely different person.
Her weak side becomes evident and she doesn't hide her emotions.
"Lolo, I-" I pause and take a deep breath whilst approaching her, my voice quiet and shaky due to the nerves building up inside of me.
Lauren jumps despite the lowness of my voice and lifts her head slowly. Her eyes lock with mine and I have to stop myself from flinching.
I have never seen as much hurt and worry and sadness in those usually sparkling eyes of hers.
"I am so sorry- I love you so much but I can't" Lauren sobs and throws herself at me, holding me tight. My eyes widen at her words because that was the last thing I expected.
She knew all along, she knew about my feelings and she feels the same but refuses to do so. I know why; I know how scared she is and how insecure she truly is behind her mask.
I take her chin in my hand and lift her head to look at me.
"Please don't fight this Lo" I beg her and tears fill my eyes when she pulls her lips between her teeth.
I know she only does that when is is nervous about something.
"I can't be without you, we don't have to tell anybody but I just can't do it anymore. I love you too much" I whisper to her and slowly but more confidently this time, she nods.
My body suddenly feels at ease. The weight that I have been feeling since Miami is lifted from me.
The shy look that Lauren sends me makes my cheeks heat up and my heart to pound extra loudly.
I take her hands in mine and she brings them to her lips, kissing them slowly and softly all whilst keeping our eyes locked together.
"You're beautiful and worth every second of life...please don't do this again baby" Lauren whispers against my skin, moving to my cuts.
They still sting and I flinch when Lauren lets her lips graze them.
She sends me an apologetic look and I just shake my head, staring at her with watery eyes. "Are you sure about me and you?" I ask weakly.
Lauren nods eagerly. "I'm positive. I need you Camila Cabello" she replies.
I giggle and slowly lean forward to press my lips against hers. Lauren gasps at the sudden contact and our lips move clumsily together.
"Wow" she mutters against my lips, humming in content between pecks.
My mind wonders and I pull alway from her when I remember something.
"Lauren- you...you're dating a guy" I remind her and she lets out a sigh, shaking her head at me reassuringly.
"I-I'm not... I called it off after you said those things to me in Miami" she tells me and I let out a breath.
A smile forms on my lips and then I move to kiss her again.
"I want you. Nobody else but you" she whispers into my ear and nibbles at my earlobe making me shiver. "I love you and nobody else" she adds and I melt instantly in her arms.
"I love you too baby girl" I say to her and she pulls away, smiling at me with the biggest grin I've ever seen. I take her hand and bring it to my beating heart, "feel that?" She nods.
"All for me..." She trails off with a bashful grin and I giggle.
She is such a dork... My dork.
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