Show seven: San Diego part 3
I held my breath, waiting for somebody to do or say something as Lauren looked at Dinah and Ariana with wide eyes, biting her lip.
My heart is beating rapidly in my chest and I can feel tears brimming in my eyes as Lauren avoids eye contact with me.
"What the hell did I just walk in on?" Dinah asks and I look over to Lauren to see her flinch before shutting my eyes and looking away. I try to hold back a whimper when I feel a stabbing pain go through my heart.
"Nothing. Camila kissed me and I couldn't get her off of me" Lauren lies and my eyes widen.
Why would she lie like that? I get that she isn't ready to tell the world but is she really that ashamed that she has to hide me from our friends too? My tears are falling freely by now and before I can stop myself I am slapping Lauren across the face.
Two gasps are heard as a cry of pain escapes Lauren's mouth.
"Fuck you!" I scream at her before running out to the bathroom, locking the door behind me and collapsing to the floor in tears.
She said that she loves me and I actually believed her. But she wouldn't be ashamed of me if she loves me and I wouldn't be crying right now if she truly does love me.
I let my head fall against the wall as uncontrollable sobs escape my lips and echo around the bathroom loudly.
"Camila?" Dinah's voice yells and she bangs on the door, trying to get me to open up but I just want her to leave me alone. I rest my head against the door and close my eyes as I wait for her to leave me again.
Thoughts are rushing through my head and it seems like they're never ending. Why was I not good enough for her? What is so wrong with me that she is ashamed to tell our close friends that we are together?
I thought that she loves me. Was everything she told me lies? Was I just a game to her for when she is bored and has nothing else to do?
Was she lying when she told me that I meant something not just to her, but to everybody else too?
Was she lying when she said that people cared about me?
Was she lying all those times she reassured me that I was perfect to her just the way I am?
I have no idea what to believe anymore because she has just lied right in front of me.
A stabbing pain shoots daggers through my heart and it feels like somebody is squeezing it tightly. I can feel my blood boiling and pulsing through my veins rapidly.
I just don't understand why...
"Camz?" She thinks that she can do that and then come running back to me like nothing even happened out there? Is she seriously stupid.
She hurt me, more than anybody has ever hurt me and even though she is also the one to make me happy and make my heart beat rapidly, I don't know if I can be with her right now.
I don't want to end this forever because I believe Lauren and I are meant to be together but being in a relationship that she is ashamed of just hurts me more than not being in one with her at all.
"Go away" my voice trembles and croaks weakly as I contain my sobs.
"Camz lets just talk about it" I can feel my emotions getting the best of me as she begs me. She shouldn't be sad, she is the one that said it.
I open the door and send the the best glare that I can muster up.
She steps back and looks at me with big wide eyes.
"No! Fuck you Lauren and fuck the relationship that I actually cared about, even if you can call it that" I yell at her and she looks quite scared.
If we were in any other situation I would feel bad for shouting at her and making me cry.
But right now I just don't care.
The girls have come rushing to us by now, obviously hearing my screams.
"Was everything lies? What you said to me? Was I just a game to you?" I ask and Lauren shakes her head as tears begin to roll down my cheeks. "I trusted you, I gave myself to you and this is how you repay me? But don't worry Lauren, you don't have to try and get me off of you now because I've realized that I shouldn't waste my time in doing something that means nothing to you!" I scream again.
"I-I thought-thought" I stutter, my voice quieting as I collapse to the floor in tears. The girls look at me in shock as I break do in front of them.
Lauren attempts to pull me into a comforting hug but I scream and push her away from me.
She looks at me with hurt in her eyes and it kills me.
"No! Don't touch me! Please just leave me alone" I plead and I can see her wipe her eyes before getting up and leaving. I watch her go like a lost puppy and the pain increases wildly.
"Camila? What was that babe?" Ariana asks and I look to see that all the girls are wearing frowns.
"It was nothing" I reply simply because even though I didn't want to hide our relationship, Lauren doesn't deserve to be outed by me.
Dinah scoffs. "Mila that wasn't nothing! You slapped her across the face and yelled at her whilst the both of you bawled your eyes out" Dinah says and I lower my head.
"Like Lauren said; nothing happened" I whisper before getting up and brushing past them sadly.
I walk to my bunk and pull my phone out of my pocket with a sigh.
"Mama, I need you to do something for me please..."
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