Show Seven: San Diego Part 2
The show has just finished and I linger behind the girls slightly, my eyes staying glued to the girl in the front who is holding her arms to her chest and looking around.
I can see the insecurity come back to her eyes and the sadness returning as she watches the girls leave.
That look is all too familiar to me. That is the look that I used to see in my own eyes as I looked in the mirror, the look that I still sometimes see.
My throat closes up and instead of going off with the rest of the girls, I push past the security and make my way towards the blonde girl.
Her eyes become wide and I notice the way that she pulls her arms closer to herself.
I see the way her eyes suddenly sparkle when I am in the view of her and it makes my insides flutter.
"Hey, come here" I say through my microphone and she looks around before grabbing the hand I offer her.
The security and management all send me looks but I ignore them and continue to drag the girl back to the bus. I sit her down on the couch and motion for the girl to sit beside me.
"Camz?" Lauren bursts into the room but stops when she sees that I am not alone in here.
"Just wait with the girls. Can you make sure they don't come through just yet?" Lauren nods and I send her a thankful smile.
"Camila?" The girl whispers and even though her voice is quiet I can hear the weakness and hurting in it.
"What is your name, sweetie?" I ask her just as equally quiet.
She gives me a glance. "Nicole. Nicole Lopez" she whispers.
My eyes water because this girl is me, she feels how I do and I don't want her to do so at all. Without saying a word, I take her hands in mine before dragging my fingers up her arms, over the cuts and scars.
She gasps and attempts to pull away but I just hold her arms tighter.
We both have tears dripping down our cheeks and I kiss each and every mark covering her pale skin.
"I am here. I understand" I whisper to her and she looks at me with wide eyes that are filled with questions. "I was you. I used to feel it, I used to do it. I still do" I say and roll up my sleeves to show her my arms.
She shakes her head. "No- yo...you're perfect" she tells me and I smile.
"So are you. But we both know that we don't see past our pain to notice what everybody else does" she nods her head in agreement.
I can see her take a deep breath and she lets her eyes close for a moment.
I give her hand a reassuring squeeze.
"It hurts...it hurts so much. I can't stop it and it won't go away" she whimpers and breaks down. I take the girl in my arms tightly as she sobs hysterically into my neck.
Nicole grips my shirt and I rub her back soothingly, trying to stop her from crying. It takes her a couple of minutes, but she eventually calms down and pulls away from my grip.
"I'm sorry. You shouldn't be wasting your time with me. You're beautiful, you're everything that a person would like to be. Why choose me?" I wipe away her tears and smile.
"Like I said, you are me. I wanted to tell you that I think you are beautiful and judging from this, you also have inner beauty which is the most important to me" I reply to her simply.
I give her another hug and for the first time, her blue eye begin to sparkle with an unique happiness.
I smile and she giggles. "Thank you for this. I can't believe this is happening right now. I love you" she fangirls and I chuckle.
