Her not so fortuitous Love

Chapter # 15

Jessica POV:-

I am not an idiot that the person I spend three years to forget I’ll bound myself with him in an eternal bond of love and consecration. I rather stay single than to do this. I sighed deeply and somewhere in my heart I felt bad looking at him, in the same gesture as mine. Because I know that feeling so it broke my heart to see him like this, not just him every person who went through that feeling of heartbreak. Somewhere in this cold heart of mine, I pity him. I felt compassion for him but what’s done is done and I cannot pull myself close to him not after I spend years to suck them out. I sighed and stood up from my seat and walked after him. He entered the lounge as I decided to stay outside.

“Oh you are back early son.” Aunt Amber said.

“She has changed a lot. I’ll appreciate it if you guys talk to her and I’ll respect whatever decision she’ll make.” he said.

“Nothing matters more than the happiness of our child. If she says ‘no’ then we won’t be able to do anything.” Father said. A smile formed on my lips  when I heard it.

“I see. We’ll wait for your answer.” Uncle said. I closed my eyes and decided to leave for my room. Not wanting to hear anything further.

As I was in my room, I was sure that mother and father would come to ask about him and they did. 

“Honey..” father called me, knocking and then entering. I passed him a smile as we both sat and soon mother came too.

“You know, You were five years old when you came to me and asked me, ‘father, what is love?’. I was taken aback when I heard it but then I told you..” He looked at me expectantly as we both began to say together,

“Love is the emotion you feel for the person you cherish, the person you wanted to be with all the time, who makes every moment ever lasting.” We both let out a quiet laugh as father continued,

“And you said..”

“I love you and mama.” I completed his sentence. He nodded and pat my head and began to say,

“Look Sweetie, love as an emotion is an eternal source of ecstasy, sometimes, you are not aware of your emotions and began to treasure those sensations the person you made you feel, denying that love because, all I wanted to say, embrace the love given to you before it could slip out of your grasp.” Father explained, his words pricked my heart because I left all of it behind. My smile faded as I lowered my gaze as I spoke vaguely,

“And what about the love that wreaks havoc in your mind?” A silence fell upon us as none of us spoke anything and then father began to say,

“Maybe it’s a trail of your love to see are you strong enough to love or not. That, are you gonna love the person forever or gonna back away just by some mere obstacles. Jessica, What is your love?” My eyes widened in disbelief as I lifted my gaze and looked at my father. Am I running away.. from myself? Father’s question left me speechless as I was at the loss of words, like nothing came to my mind. What is my love? Did I even love it? Father 's words made me question my own feelings.

“Father.. what is your love?” I asked in a croaked voice. He smiled and held mother’s hand and began to say,

“We ran away. For the sake of our love, we ran away because everyone was against it. Your mother sold her gold just to get money for us to live, I’ve got nothing with me but the divine presence of your mother. And for her sake, I made this empire, I made myself who I am now because she never left my side. That was my love. Staying right beside me. Our love was our guidance.” I was stunned to hear this, it was unexpected, I never knew that I had done that many struggles.

“And what about grandma and grandpa?” I asked.

“Years later we went to meet them and the power of your love won their heart and fixed everything.” Father told as I was again left speechless.

Again a silence took over as abysmal thoughts came to my mind which caused me to immerse in those pools of uncertainties.

“My love…” I mumbled.

“Maybe it is fortuitous.” Mother said. An empty escaped my lips as I growled, “It’s anything but fortuitous.” Father laughed and patted my head saying,

“Then it’s your not so fortuitous love.” And left with mother leaving me dumbfound.

The next day, to clear my mind, I went to the park. The fresh breeze made me feel light-hearted as I felt great. As I was walking while hugging my sides, I heard someone calling my name. Not someone, how can I not recognize that voice, it’s Aiden. I turned to look at him, he passed me a smile and greeted me. I passed him a faint smile that doesn’t even last an instant and then back again to my coldness.

“Jessica, can we talk?” he asked. I just gave him a nod as we both sat down and he said,

“I haven’t told my parents your answer.” to which I mutter, “Even if you told them, that will not change anything.”

“Then why are you taking time? Why didn’t you tell your parents at once that you don’t want to marry me?” He asked. My heart skipped a beat as I remained stoic. His exquisite eyes scanned me as I remained silent. Why is everyone's words increasing my doubts?

“Can’t you give me a chance? To make everything right?” He asked desperately. I bit my cheeks and stood up. My face was cold but my heart clenched upon hearing his words. You are late..

“I was here to be alone.” I said, closing my arms at my chest. I was about to leave but he held my hand which made my heart I skipped a beat, my eyes widened for a second as my back was facing him and he began to say,

“Remember this Jessica, I will not say no to this marriage. You may have lost hopes but I’ll not back away. You may have forsaken your love, but I will never do this.” His words made me grit my teeth in anger as I yanked my hand away from him and walked away without turning to look at him. 

What is my love? Did I abandon love or did it abandon me?

It’s dinner time we were eating in silence but I am dying to burst my feeling out but I can’t. I just don’t know when I will become that cold but I want to let out this agony inside out. I am losing myself in those thoughts of misery. 

You cannot burn ashes so why… the ashes of my heart are burning?

What should I say? Yes or no. You have to get married one day and there’s no guarantee that you’ll love your husband since you have no intentions of loving anyone, Jessica.

“Maybe I should say yes.” My eyes widened as I raised my eyes and realized that I spoke my thoughts aloud and mother and father heard it. They looked at me with a glint of content as father asked excited,

“what?”

“I agreed for this marriage.” I said quickly and left for my room.

When I entered my room I began to pace around.

What have I done? I wasn’t supposed to say this, I shouldn’t have said this. When I can marry anyone then why does it have to be him? No, No, What should I do? God Damn it!

“Jessica..” The door opened and mother came.

“Mother..” I whispered.

“Are you happy? You seemed confused?” Father asked. All of your guys talk made me.

“Father.. do you like him?” I asked.

“Forget about us, it’s your life decision.” 

“No. No, no, tell me.” I said. They sighed and replied honestly,

“Yes, we like him. We think that he’ll take great care of you. We have known each other for years and Aiden is such a gallant guy.” Father said. I nodded as I engulfed him in a hug,

“I am fine with it.”